When should I tell people I’m pregnant?

Your call, mama! If you want to shout it from the rooftops or post on Instagram as soon as you get a positive sign, go for it!

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(Hey, at least you won’t have to fake drinking wine.) Just know that the risk of miscarriage or complications is highest in the first trimester.
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That’s also when you’ll be undergoing some pretty important testing and scans to make sure the baby’s doing well. For that reason, many mamas choose to wait until week 12 when they find out their little babe is thriving. Some women wait even longer, especially if they have to undergo more rigorous testing like an amnio at around 16 weeks. Just know that it’s entirely your decision, so do what feels right.
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What happens during a prenatal visit?

Your first appointment with a healthcare provider should be at around 8 weeks after your last period, or as soon as you know you’re pregnant. At the appointment, your doctor will check your medical history and perform a physical exam, ie a pap smear, cervical culture and possibly an ultrasound if you’re far along enough.  She’ll also draw blood and run several tests, including hemoglobin, RH Factor and blood type, Rubella screening + other vaccination screenings, Hepatitis B and C testing and an array of genetic testing, if you haven’t had them done already. She’ll also check you for HIV.

She’s also going to break down your new very healthy new habits, such as dental care (hello floss) and prenatal vitamins, pregnancy safe exercise and diet, nutrition + weight gain details. She’ll go into ALL of your commonly asked questions like travel, working out, headaches, sex, nausea + risks of miscarriage. It’s all very chill.

You might want to bring along a series of questions, such as whether there’s a nurse line to call if you have questions, what they consider an emergency and what kinds of testing they recommend. You may also want to get their thoughts on various forms of pain medications, cesarean rates, what situations would lead to an episiotomy or labor induction and how long they’ll let you go past your due date. Take your time and get the answers you need.

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Why am I so F*CKING exhausted?

If you feel like you need a nap 10 minutes after waking up, you’re not alone. Your body is working HARD right now. During early pregnancy, you’ve got hormones coursing through every inch of you, and these changes, (like heightened progesterone levels) can make you tired, too. Your body is producing more blood to carry nutrients to babe, plus your blood sugar + blood pressure levels are also lower. Not to mention, you might be feeling anxious + ALL types of emo, which can take its toll. Remember, this is a totally normal part of pregnancy and by the second trimester, you should start feeling back to your busy self. If you think your exhaustion levels are bordering on the extreme, check in with your medical provider asap. 

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Why should I care about folic acid?

Folic acid is a pregnancy rockstar that helps prevent birth defects of your babe’s brain + spinal cord. It’s a man-made form of the B vitamin, folate, which is crucial is producing red blood cells and helping your baby’s neural tube develop into the brain + spinal cord. Since birth defects occur within the first 3-4 weeks of pregnancy, you should have some folate in your system already, so get it going while you’re trying to conceive. A multivitamin with folic acid will do the trick pre-pregnancy. Once those double lines show up, bump your dosage to at least 400 mcg daily. Some docs recommend between 600-800 mcg depending on genetic history, diet and other criteria. As always, check in with your healthcare provider on what’s best for you.

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Should I freeze my eggs?

Sure, why not? Here’s the deal with OOCYTE CRYOPRESERVATION (yep). It’s a fertility treatment where a woman’s mature eggs are taken from her ovaries and frozen for later use, aka until she’s ready to get pregnant. It’s away to buy time if you think you want to have babies, but not yet. That way, you can use younger, healthier eggs when you are ready. 

The process of freezing your eggs is similar to IVF in that you undergo four to six weeks of hormone injections prior to egg retrieval to stimulate the ovaries and ripen many many eggs at once. Once the eggs have matured, a doctor will insert a needle through the vagina and up into the ovaries. Following the procedure, the eggs are analyzed for any sort of damage. The healthy ones are frozen and stored.

When you’re ready for baby time, your eggs will be thawed, fertilized and monitored for growth and viability. If the process seems overwhelming to think about, here is a list of facts you should know in advance of freezing your eggs:

Do You Research: Check out the American Society Of Reproductive Medicine to find the clinic nearest you. Clinics vary, so be sure to find one that suits your needs, whether it’s only freezing, or freezing AND thawing. Also, be sure to find one with great success rates around the thawed eggs.

Prepare Yourself For The Cost: Find out if your insurance covers egg freezing, but don’t bet on it. In general, insurance isn’t a sure thing, through some providers may throw in a bit. Plan to spend around $7k to $13k for every cycle, between $2,500 and $5,000 for medication and up to $1k a year to store the eggs. 

It’s Not A Sure Thing: The data is still out on the success rates of egg freezing, so stay optimistic but know that a successful pregnancy hovers at around 40-50 percent per egg thaw. Also, keep in mind that pregnancy does get harder as you age, so the younger you are when you freeze your eggs, the better.

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How do surrogates work?

If you’re thinking of taking the surrogacy path, here’s the deal. There are two kinds of surrogates. A traditional surrogate is a woman who becomes artificially inseminated by a man’s sperm and delivers the baby for others to care for, though she is the biological mother.

A gestational surrogate is when a man and a woman do IVF to create an embryo and implants it into the uterus of a carrier. The surrogate then carries the baby until birth.

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She doesn’t have any genetic connection to the baby, but her womb serves as a home for other peoples’ child.

Gestational surrogacy is a more common approach to surrogacy, one that you might opt for if you have medical problems with your uterus, you’ve undergone a hysterectomy or certain conditions make pregnancy risky for you. You also may want to consider surrogacy if you’ve tried other medical intervention technique with no success.

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There are a few ways in which you’d find a surrogate. One could be a friend or family member, or you could reach out to a surrogacy agency to help you find a surrogate and act as a bridge between you and a surrogate. The latter may be easier legally, but more expensive, as the cost of a surrogate can range from $80,000 to $120,000. While no regulations exist in terms of who can be a surrogate, you should generally choose one who is legally considered an adult, has had one healthy baby (so she knows what she’s in for) and has passed a psychological screening. She should also sign a contract about her role in the pregnancy specifically, as parental rights are not guaranteed after a surrogate birth, unless she legally expresses so.

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She should also be checked for any infectious diseases and made sure she is up to date on immunization and overall healthy.

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What are the best sexual positions to get pregnant?

You can get pregnant any which way you have vaginal sex. Just think, out of ALL of the unplanned pregnancies happening everyday, how many women do you think have their legs up the wall? That said, missionary (him on top) and doggie-style positions (him behind) do allow for deeper penetration that could bring the sperm closer to the cervix. Though you don’t need to stay lying down afterwards, it can’t hurt either, right? Placing a pillow under your back and thus tipping your pelvic area up could also encourage those little swimmers to get where they’re going. 

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How can I try for a boy or girl?

There are a few ways to try to determine the gender of your baby, and only one way is a sure thing. You can go the Kim Kardashian/Chrissy Teigen route, particularly if you’re undergoing IVF, where you can select the boy or girl embryos to implant. This is known as preimplantation genetic diagnosis (PGD) and it’s a fool-proof way of selecting the gender, particularly for couples already undergoing genetic testing. 

There’s also sperm sorting, which involves separating X (girl) sperm and Y (boy sperm) in the lab and inserting the sperm of your preferred gender via intrauterine insemination (IUI). According to recent studies, x-sorted sperm produced female fetuses at a rate of 87% and 74% for y-sorted sperm. 

For a more low-key approach, a few other methods exist, like the Shettles Method, which theorizes that because X sperm are slower but live longer than Y sperm, which are faster but die quicker. Therefore, if you want a girl you should have sex before you ovulate so that the X sperm can get there later but wait around for the egg. If you want a boy, however, you should have sex as close as possible to ovulation, since the Y-sperm will get to the egg quicker. To the contrary, the Whelan Method dictates the opposite, stating that biochemical changes in a woman’s body and her cycle will dictate what she’ll conceive, but that to have a girl, you should have sex before or on the day-of ovulation. Whatever route you choose, happy baby making and you’ll most likely get what you get!

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What are the signs of ovulation?

Ovulation, aka when your egg releases from an ovary, is one of those magic moments in your cycle that you might not even realize is happening. Since the ABC’s of baby making is literally sex during ovulation, here are a few signs to watch out for, so you can be sure to NAIL it:

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How do I know if I need In vitro fertilization?

If you’ve been trying to conceive for one year, you may want to consult a fertility specialist to determine why you’re having trouble. Some women over 35 might choose to wait only six months.

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It’s a totally personal call when you think you might want some intel. We always feel like more is more when it comes to information, so feel your way through it and don’t hesitate to advocate for yourself when you think you might need assistance.
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