There’s a lot of anxiety around sex during pregnancy. With one extra little poke you don’t know if you’re going leak cervical fluid all over your Frette sheets or if your mind-blowing orgasm will scar your baby for life. (helloooo therapy). Sex during pregnancy is ripe with assumptions, myths and opinions. And we’re here to debunk certain old wive’s tales that need some updating….see below.

This idea is a totally natural concern but truly quite the myth. Even if your partner is a Ron Jeremy stunt double, your vagina stretches during sex and naturally creates a gap of many many centimeters between the penis and the cervix. Not to mention, the cervix is closed and sealed with a thick mucus plug to protect the baby. By the way, your baby is housed inside your amniotic sac, which was designed to keep them safe and snug.

Another totes normal thing: those little cramps you probably feel after sex. They’re just your uterine muscles tightening a bit, and, as long as you don’t have a high-risk pregnancy, they shouldn’t pose any harm. Just remember, you’ll likely feel two types of contractions during pregnancy – those you feel during and after orgasm, which are mild and eventually go away, and then labor contractions, which will be painful and come at regular intervals.

Once your partner’s sperm has fertilized the egg, the sex has been decided. If the sperm that fertilizes the egg carries an X chromosome, your baby will be a girl. If the sperm carries a Y chromosome, your baby will be a boy. It’s as simple as that. There has not been any proven effect of sex influence based on sexual positioning before or after conception.

So, as per our note above, You can have a contraction after sex from a hormone found in semen, and maybe if you’re close to your due date (or past it), this can push you over the edge, but not really. Yes, the same hormone (prostaglandin) is used to induce labor in a hospital, but it’s a synthetic version with a much higher concentration than what’s found in semen, otherwise your OB would’ve kept you from sexin’ the entire time.

Not to worry. You won’t have to pay for years of therapy beause your child remembered you having sex in utero. It’s not like when the ahem “door is closed” during Ipad time. Sure, your babe might know you’re moving, but they can’t tell whether you’re rocking out or doing pilates. Experts agree that there’s no evidence sex can cause physical or psychological harm to your child, so don’t stress it. 

Just because a person is preggo doesn’t mean their partner can’t go downtown. If anything, it’s all the more reason they should lavish you with orgasms. In fact, it can often be a more comfortable option than penetrative intercourse, depending on how the pregnancy is going. However, the American Pregnancy Association advises that a pregnant person’s partner not blow air into the vagina during oral because “a bubble can cause a pressure differential which may burst blood vessels near the surface.”

By the 20-week mark during pregnancy, missionary-style sex may not be the best choice. According to Healthline, when a pregnant woman lays flat on her back for an extended period of time, the uterus’ weight can compress necessary blood flow to the rest of her body and the baby.

Of course, some positions will be off limits because they could cause you some pain, but many women find pregnant sex to be even more enjoyable than regular sex. This is because the genitals are engorged and nerve endings are more sensitive. Also, oxytocin, a hormone with increased levels during pregnancy, fuels a feeling of lust. Some women even enjoy their first orgasms during pregnant sex.

Post-sex bleeding is not a cause for alarm. When you’re pregnant, your cervix becomes very soft and can start bleeding from even minimal contact. Spots of blood do not mean damage has been done to Baby. However, it’s a good idea to let your provider know if there is excessive post-sex bleeding.