Honest, authentic, and fresh, with one on the way, social media star and fiancé to YouTuber Nash Grier (@nashgrier) is decidedly real. From her home in LA, (on her due date!!) Taylor talks about the emotional recovery she went through after having a miscarriage (before getting pregnant a month later). Plus, her decision to share the details of her pregnancy publicly and plans for an at-home water birth. @g1avasis

If your pregnancy were a song, what would it be?

With Arms Wide Open by Creed. My mom listened to this song when she was pregnant with me. It reminds me of her love as a mother plus the strength she gained through motherhood, which inspires me every day.

Your path to pregnancy?

I’ve always wanted to be a mom, but never really thought about when it would happen. About a month before getting pregnant with our baby, I had a miscarriage and thought we would wait a while before trying again, as I needed time to heal. However, the universe had other plans for me. Now, at 40 weeks pregnant I couldn’t imagine it any other way.

What’s it like getting engaged and pregnant at the same time?

We were planning on getting engaged before I got pregnant, but surprise, I got pregnant first! At the moment pregnancy is all-consuming and the only thing I think about, but I am happy to call Nash my fiancé. He is my rock, and when I look down at my hand, I get so excited! I’m looking forward to planning our wedding knowing our baby can be in it! My life feels like a dream right now!

From all your life experience, what advice would you give your little guy?

I hope to teach him to be his authentic self no matter what anyone else thinks!

What are you most looking forward to as you become a mother?

I’m looking forward to giving all my love to my child, learning with him, and just watching him grow.

What are you most nervous about becoming a mom?

I’m most nervous about the world we live in as we continually see headlines about the it basically ending. However, I have to remind myself that I can’t control that and to focus on the positive!

What’s do you believe will be the most challenging part?

I hear moms always talking about how fast it goes by, it’s hasn’t even begun fully, yet I’m not ready for it to go by quickly!

How have you felt emotionally being pregnant?

Pregnancy has been very tough for me, having a miscarriage so close to getting pregnant left me with crippling anxiety for the first two months of my pregnancy. I didn’t know how I was going to get through it. Thankfully I came out the other side, but I still struggle at times. I’m so grateful for my support system as I don’t know how I would have gotten through this without them.

How have you felt physically? 

When I imagined pregnancy, I thought I would be this glowing goddess eating greens and doing yoga. HA! That couldn’t be further from the truth and was, in fact, the exact opposite! For the first couple of months, I had all the symptoms, including sore breasts, exhaustion, and constant nausea. It got better in the second trimester, but I’ve been overly tired this entire time! And, don’t get started on my sciatic nerve!

I love sharing my journey because I’ve always been enthralled with pregnancy and it’s incredible to connect with other moms that are going through the same experience. That said, while I’m pretty much an open book, I’ve had to take a step back at times because people like to share their opinion on everything and I don’t have the patience for all of it right now! 

Working out?

Working out is one thing I wish I added to my daily routine, but instead, I’ve basically turned into a couch potato! I do however stretch every day (thank goodness) otherwise I’d probably be a plank of wood.

Craziest craving?

Before I got pregnant, for the most part, I was a clean eater; however, since being pregnant, everything has changed! I haven’t craved one thing specifically, but instead, I want all the things. I need food constantly, no matter how bad it is for me. I have no problem indulging

Wellness hacks during pregnancy?

Do whatever YOU need to do to feel good, it’s your body and your baby, and you know what’s best for you. Oh, and WATER!!!!!!!

Birth plan?

My plan is to have our baby at home. I have a lovely midwife who has been here every step of the way with me. I’m looking forward to having the baby at home, although, I’m doing my best not to have any expectations!

Plan for post-birth?

My post birth plan is to not put any expectations on myself and to cherish every moment with my baby!

Do you think you will breastfeed?

That is the plan!

What has been the support, affection, and reaction of your Instagram community?

I was shocked to see how many people have been supportive and excited for me.I am so thankful for all the love given!

Any advice…

Go easy on yourself and start a prenatal before you’re pregnant!