Before I became a mom, I thought I understood stress and anxiety. Or at least my own. I’d always been a planner, doing everything I could to organize and control my life. But then we brought our baby home, and I discovered a new kind of anxiety—one that doesn’t just live in
your head, but you feel in your whole body.

Nights were the hardest. As bedtime approached, I felt a tight knot of unease. I’d look at the clock, already calculating how many hours of sleep I might get, convincing myself it would probably be even less.

My mind raced through worst-case scenarios: Did he eat enough to last more than a couple of hours? Will he wake up five times? Ten? How long will it take him to settle? And if he finally sleeps… will I even be able to? The sheer unknown about the night ahead shook me to my core.

Sleep became my focus. Not because I thought I could perfect it—perfection doesn’t exist in motherhood or life—but because it was something I could work on. Something I could pour myself into instead of sitting in anxiety.

Committing to sleep training shifted everything. It didn’t magically turn my baby into a robot who slept minute-for-minute, but it got us really close. We started getting longer stretches of rest,
and most importantly, I had a plan. Even on rough nights, short naps, or regressions, I knew how to respond—and that alone relieved so much anxiety.

Gradually, my role in my son’s sleep began to shrink. I set up the right environment, taught him the skills, and then stepped back. He took it from there. That tiny shift—letting go of full control but embracing what was within my power—changed everything. My nights got quieter. My
mind got calmer. And little by little, I began to feel like myself again.

Now, as a pediatric sleep consultant, I hear that same sense of overwhelm from moms every week. They’re tired, sometimes isolated, sometimes unsure if they’re “doing it right.” And this is why I do what I do. It’s not about “perfect” sleep—it’s about better sleep. It’s about confidence.
It’s about feeling like you can handle the night ahead. Helping a baby sleep well isn’t just about the baby—it’s about giving parents a sense of control and relief.

I often encourage my clients to notice the small wins—the nights a baby sleeps a little longer, the moments a parent feels more in control, the first stretch where everyone rests without panic.
Those moments may seem small, but they make a huge difference.

If you’re in that anxious, exhausted place, here are a few things that helped me:
• Create a calming, consistent bedtime routine. It doesn’t have to be elaborate—just a predictable sequence (like feed, bath, pajamas, story, song) that signals sleep is coming.

• Set up the sleep environment. Darkness, white noise, and a cool room can make a huge difference. It’s not about perfection—it’s about setting the stage.

• Practice putting your baby down fully awake. It’s a skill for them, and a gift for both of you.

• Have a plan for how you’ll respond at night. There are many types of sleep training methods—choose one that feels right for your family. Knowing what you’ll do if your baby wakes can reduce a lot of anxiety.

These aren’t quick fixes. Babies are humans, just like us, and sleep will sometimes shift. But having tools and a mindset change can transform bedtime from something you dread into
something you approach with confidence—and even a bit of calm.

So, if you’re pacing your hallway tonight, staring at your baby monitor, I want you to know: you’re not failing, and you’re not alone. There are steps you can take to improve things and feel more in control. Whether it’s leaning on a friend, talking to another mom, or connecting with
someone like me, support is out there—you don’t have to do this on your own.

Better sleep isn’t just about getting more hours—it’s about feeling steadier, more capable, and ready to take on this crazy thing called parenting. For me, it became my “healthy obsession” and
ultimately led to discovering my passion to help parents feel empowered, confident, and supported.

Visit mysleepfriend.co or follow Spenser on Instagram @mysleepfriend.