For some of us, the thought of having sex during pregnancy is met with anxiety, fear and a groan or two. But for every one pregnant person who complains that their mojo went out the window as soon as they heard the heartbeat, there’s an equally abundant catalog of women getting after it in ways they never thought possible.
What gives?
“When you’re pregnant, your uterus starts to grow and the pelvic blood supply increases tremendously,” says Dr. Shieva Ghofrany, an OBGYN based in Stamford, CT and founder of Tribe Called V. “With that, the blood supply increases into your other pelvic anatomy, too, including your clitoris, which includes the actual ‘glans’ (the clitorial tip) as well as the labia! So everything feels more stimulated.”
Additionally, the hormone estrogen, which increases during gestation, is closely linked with driving sexual desire. So even if you don’t feel sexy, you are physiologically hot sex on a platter.
“I don’t know when I started feeling super horny, perhaps somewhere around my second trimester,” says Talia S, a new mom based in Brooklyn. “I had had a pretty easygoing first trimester and I was just feeling really good throughout. Also my orgasms during pregnancy were really strong, which contributed to me wanting more of them!”
Fortunately, most of the sexual positions you know and love are still on the table. We wouldn’t recommend missionary style once you get further along in your pregnancy, as lying down after the 20th week can restrict blood flow to both mother and baby. But we’re big fans of “doggy-style” so long as you don’t feel the penis up against your cervix, as well as you on top. (According to Healthline, this position is supported by science, — at least one Taiwanese study found increased sexual satisfaction for pregnant women who control penetration by being on top of the partner.)
We also love a good spoon sesh, reverse cowgirl (yee-hah) or even standing if the mood overtakes you after emptying the dishwasher. Just remember, if you’re engaging in sex with a man, his penis won’t hurt the baby. Also, you won’t miscarry after a mind-blowing orgasm. We promise. But for high risk pregnancies, consult with your medical provider before getting all kinds of freaky. They might have some stipulations with just how far you can go.
And if you just can’t bear the thought of getting it on during your pregnancy, that’s OK, too. Because there’s always the fan-favorite masturbation option (but why choose?). Just check in with your partner to gauge their feelings as well. Remember, sex is more than sex. It’s intimacy. And intimacy comes in many forms. We recommend trying to find yours.
