Alissa Alter (She/Her) is called “The Amy Poehler of vaginas” because of her unapologetic and unfiltered approach to the female experience. Learn more at www.alissaalter.com and on IG @alissaalter.

“I didn’t even know I had a pelvic floor until after I gave birth.”

Hearing this fills me with a holy rage that can be matched only by someone telling me “Enjoy every moment” of new motherhood. As a Pilates instructor, a pelvic health expert, and a woman I believe that we deserve to know wtf is going on with our bodies at all times. Which is why I’m going to share how you can best harness the physical and energetic powerhouse between your legs at each stage of motherhood; from trying to conceive all the way through postpartum/forever. 

Ok, some general housekeeping before we begin. I am not a doctor. Therefore, nothing here is medical advice or diagnostic. Also, I have no position in how you build your family, get pregnant, give birth, and/or feed your baby. I DO have a position on how you feel during those events. 

I described the pelvic floor as a physical and energetic powerhouse hidden between your legs because the intersection of the two is so strong. So as we go through what you can do to care for your body and what you need at each stage, we will touch on both the physical and emotional/energetic benefits. 

All of which begins with the foundation you are literally sitting on. 

The alignment of your pelvis is the basis of the alignment of your entire spine and physical body. When your pelvis is aligned with gravity, your whole body falls into place. When your vagina is aligned with the universe, your whole life falls into place. So to begin our exploration of how to harness the powerhouse hidden between your legs, I ask you…

Where is your vagina pointing?

Wherever you are, have a seat and feel your weight even between your two sit bones (or butt cheeks). Rock your weight forward and back between your pubic and tail bones. Find the center point With this diamond shaped bony landmark parallel to the floor, you will find that your vagina is pointing straight down and your spine has lifted and lengthened into a more aligned arrangement. Cool right?

You could stop right here if you wanted, but I invite you to keep going. Because if that blew your mind, you’re in for a real treat as we continue learning about…

Diamond Breathing…

Those two bit bones and your pubic and tail bones make a diamond shape at the base of your pelvis. Your hammock of pelvic floor muscles fill out this diamond shape and you will use this to lengthen, strengthen, and tone your pelvic floor. 

Two ways to practice your diamond breathing: 

1) Inhale feel the diamond expand, exhale actively narrow and lift the diamond this actively works the contraction and engagement of your muscles 

THEN 

2) Inhale and feel the diamond expand, exhale and actively keep the diamond as wide as possible as your exhale and try to maintain as much space as possible for as long as possible. This actively stretches your muscles and teaches them they are allowed to release and lengthen. 

If you’re trying to conceive…

The best thing you can do is build a strong foundation. A deep literacy in your alignment, your normal, your body, your energy, and where the heck your center is. Because this will all change! And having a strong sense of where you started will serve you well. 

This physical centering supports your emotional centering while trying to conceive .We spend so much of our lives trying not to get pregnant and when we start trying it’s a complete upheaval that feels completely out of control. Physically and energetically tuning into your pelvic floor can help keep you calm within the chaos, grounded in the storm. 

Where is your vagina pointing?

How do you sit at your computer? How do you scroll on your phone? Where is your vagina pointing during downward dog? While going up or down stairs? During your favorite Pilates class? During clamshells? Start building your vaginal fluency now! 

Diamond breathing…

Practice this both ways outlined above. Get as familiar as possible with your body and habits now!

If You’re in your first trimester…

You may not feel like connecting to your body. You may feel like trash, nauseous AF, exhausted, hungover, like you have COVID again, and the last thing you want to do is feel more. You may also be scared about what you can and can’t do and what is safe at this stage of pregnancy. Your body is already changing. Your uterus is growing, your blood volume is working on doubling, and a parasite (the baby) is quite literally sucking the life out of you.

Where is your vagina pointing?

Explore your physical alignment. Have you started contorting your body in an effort to hide your pregnancy or how awful, scared, and untethered you feel? Are you hunching your shoulders forward because your boobs hurt so much? Can you find your center and alignment even though so much is changing?

Diamond breathing…

Because hormones, feelings, and fear can be at all time high, focus on the second way to practice diamond breathing. Find the expansion on your inhale and invite the continued release of your muscles as you exhale. This not only gives your pelvic floor an active release, it signals to your brain and nervous system a sense of safety, security, and grounding. And when everything is changing and your mood swings are as violent as your nausea, this is beyond comforting.

In your second trimester…

This is when things get really wild! Your bump is poppin’, your energy is back, welcome to the “Springtime of pregnancy!” AND there’s this amazing hormone called relaxin that your body pumps out to support the physical expansion this trimester brings. As the baby grows, your skeleton has to change to make room. Yea. Not just your muscles and organs, your skeleton. Relaxin softens your connective tissues (ligaments) to allow more space between your bones for your body to expand and make room. 

Because as the structural integrity of your body is now compromised, your muscles shorten and tighten to hold the pieces together. So you may start to feel really stiff, experience muscle cramps or even sciatica which is a major pain in the butt, literally and figuratively. 

Where is your vagina pointing?

As your belly grows it pulls your lower back forward making your vagina point back. What does it feel like to align your pelvis so that your vagina points straight down? Do you feel more length in your lower back and more support from your lower abdominals? When you point your vagina down, does the rest of your spine lift and lengthen? 

The muscles that support this alignment have a lot of extra work to do. And they may need to build some extra stamina and endurance to support your changing body. By checking in and reinforcing your balanced alignment, you will stay more connected to your center as your body changes. You will physically keep the pieces together more efficiently and energetically this helps you keep your shit together. It’s a win win. 

Diamond Breathing…

Because relaxin is literally pulling you apart, focus more on the first option of your diamond breathing. That doesn’t mean you never need to find a release because healthy muscles can both contract AND release. Yet, in this season of pregnancy, we need more support and more engagement to help maintain our structural integrity. 

In your third trimester…

At this point you and your baby are growing. It’s hard to put your shoes on, drink a sip of water without getting reflux, and who even cares about shaving your legs?! 

As you near the big B-day your focus shifts from holding you sh!t together to surrendering to the expansion. Regardless of how you plan to, or end up, giving birth you are being asked to expand beyond your limits. This can be really hard and is an important lesson for motherhood. Surrender and release.

Where is your vagina pointing?

Suddenly it makes sense that I suggested getting to know this earlier in pregnancy, right? AND there is a limit to how much alignment and balance you can find in your body at this point. Physically and emotionally 😉 Still, knowing where your vagina is pointing, finding alignment whenever you can is beneficial! 

Diamond breathing…

The first version of the diamond breathing is a great way to explore and encourage release. Remember that we learn through contrast so you cac use the first version of the diamond breathing to inform the second. Bonus: this release on your exhale can be used during pushing!

In your fourth trimester…

Everything is different! And I won’t lie to you, it will be that way for a while. Your work now is to learn with your baby, rest, and recover. The most valuable thing you can do for your body, for your baby, for your recovery is to breathe. Your breath will begin to recruit, coordinate, and rehabilitate ALL of your core muscles gently and effectively. And it will help you to stay calm within the postpartum chaos.

Where is your vagina pointing?

During pregnancy you developed amazing compensations moving around in a body for two. Now it’s time to remember how to live in your body as one. Where your vagina is pointing helps to reintegrate the muscles of your ribcage and abdomen. This helps to reestablish how they relate to each other in a not pregnant body and strengthen your core body.

Diamond breathing…

It’s going to feel different. Start by observing what is happening in your body as you breathe. Wait to start making muscles engage or stretch. Simply observe your body, honor where you are, and listen to what your body has to tell you. 

Wherever you are on your motherhood journey, you deserve to know WTF is going on in and with and to your body. Start here and let me know how the magic unfolds…