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By Ruthie Friedlander

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Will sex feel different during pregnancy? week 4

Week 4

Well the GOOD news is that many women describe themselves as super turned-on throughout their pregnancy. Thanks to some major hormonal shifts, there’s an excess of blood flow to your pleasure areas that can make things highly sensitive (in a good way). Then there are the women who feel like shit during their entire pregnancy and the LAST thing they want is someone pawing at them. 

The best way to deal with sex is by embracing it. All of these changes are purely temporary, so enjoy the good vibes while you can, and if have no interest, then turn over and pretend to be sleeping (works like a charm). Women with high risk pregnancies should check in with their healthcare provider re: having sex later in pregnancy. If you do engage + start bleeding, or if it was super painful or contractions start that last longer than 15 minutes, phone your healthcare provider ASAP. 

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What should I be eating while preggo?

And so it begins, where every life decision you make is somehow going to affect your child. It’s never more evident than what you put into your body while pregnant, which is why you gotta eat well, mama! Sure, giving into a craving or two is totes normal and we fully approve a spontaneous Taco Bell drive-through moment or a 16 Handles run (Captain Crunch toppings FTW). HOWEVER, consider yourself the vitamin + mineral channel by which your babe is going to flourish! Not to mention that loading up on sugar + unhealthy foods will only increase your chance of gestational diabetes later in your pregnancy. Bonus: your kids are more likely to like what you liked while pregnant, so load up on anything you’d like them to eat outside the womb! Here are some suggestions:

  1. Legumes: We said it the French way ‘cause we fancy like that. Hit up those beans ala lentils, peas, chickpeas, soybeans and even peanuts as a source of plant-based fiber, protein, iron, folate and calcium. 
  2. Sweet potatoes: These lil lovelies are chock full of beta-carotene, which your body uses to make vitamin A. Vitamin A is crucial in cell growth for babe. Need we say more?
  3. Salmon: The superfood of superfoods, salmon’s not only awesome for you, but it’s exactly what you want your toddler ordering at a restaurant so you can bask in your holier-than-thou mama moment. It’s rich in essential omega-3 fatty acids (which help build your babe’s eyes + brains) and is a natural source of vitamin D for bone + immune building strength. Bonus points for its low mercury level. 
  4. Avocados: Let’s hear it for Instagram’s favorite food. Avocados are high in fiber, B vitamins like folate, vitamin K, E + C, as well as potassium, copper and mono-saturated fatty acids, ie healthy fats that aid in babe’s skin, brain and tissue development. So go ahead, order that side of guac, ‘cause you extra!
  5. Dark (Leafy) Greens: No sh*t, right? We’ve been told to eat our greens since WE were fetuses. But spinach, kale, chard and other leafy greens are packed with vitamins like A,C + K, plenty of nutrients as well as folic acid. So eat your salads, stir-fry it up or douse in garlic and olive oil, Italiano style. It’s all good!
  6. Eggs: The incredible egg contains more than a dozen vitamins + minerals, not to mention it’s a great source of protein, which aid in cell growth for your + babe. It also contains choline, which helps baby’s brain + spinal cord development. Mama loves an omelet. 
  7. Greek Yogurt: Fage it UP ‘cause greek yogurt contains more calcium than any other dairy product, plus probiotic bacteria, which supports digestion. It’s also got high levels of phosphorus, B vitamins, magnesium + zinc. Dairy in general contains two types of rockstar proteins, casein + whey. If you’re lactose intolerant, you may be able to tolerate probiotic yogurt. If you’re dairy-free,  check in with your healthcare provider on alternative ways to get these benefits.

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What can I expect from my first pediatric appointment?

By Ruthie Friedlander

Babe should have their first “well visit” appointment between 3-5 days after birth. Considering bringing your partner or anyone who can support. Two people can help with stroller issues, waiting room shenanigans and help with driving, parking, public transport etc. Dress your baby in easy clothing, since the doctor will examine their body, and bring a change of clothes, diapers, wipes and all the goodies you’ll start to pack in your diaper bag. Remember also to refresh yourself on your family medical history, since you’ll likely be filling out a ton of paperwork. 

A nurse will likely handle the first part of the exam, like weighing your baby on a scal and measuring their height, width and head circumference. Remember, it’s totally normal if your babe loses weight post-delivery. They’ll generally gain it back within two or so weeks.

Next comes the pediatrician, who will peep your babe’s bod from head to toe. They’ll feel along babe’s neckline to check their collarbone, palm their head to check for a still-soft fontanel (the soft part of their skull responsible for brain growth), perform a reflex check, measure their pulse and look at their genitals. They’ll also ask you how feeding, sleeping, LIFE is going and whether you have any issues or concerns. Remember, they’re going to cover a lot of ground, so ask them to repeat anything you’re not sure of. You might also want to prep by making your own list of questions.

Following that first visit, your lineup of well-visits should include 1 month, 2 months, 4 months, 6 months, 9 months and 12 months. Trust us, the schedule will lighten up as they get older.

What are common postpartum symptoms?

We’re often so focused on pregnancy symptoms or miscarriage symptoms, that we often forget about postpartum symptoms. As you may assume, giving birth – in any fashion – can do a number on your body (‘cause you’re a freiken’ warrior). Here’s what you can expect in the days and weeks following your delivery.

  • Vaginal discharge: After you give birth, you’ll start to excrete the mucuous membrane that lined your uterus throughout pregnancy. Mixed in will also be a fair amount of blood.
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    This should last for a few weeks, with the discharge starting out heavy and more red, and lightening up as the days go on.
  • Contractions: And you thought the “contraction” portion of the program was over. Sorry mama, you’ll continue to feel contractions, for a few days following the birth. They’re not just there to torment you, but rather they’re helping prevent excessive bleeding by compressing blood vessels in your uterus. You may feel them especially hard during breastfeeding (‘cause you’re releasing oxytocin). Try an over-the-counter pain reliever or talk to your healthcare provider. Rest assured, they should only last a few days post-birth.
  • Sensitive boobs: Your boobs have basically had a mind of their own throughout your entire pregnancy, so why should anything change now? A few days following birth, they’ll become full with milk and quite firm. Those gigantic dark circles that have replaced your porn-star looking breasts might linger on a bit as well. When you start to feel that feeling of fullness, that’s your body telling you it’s time to feed your baby, or you can always pump the milk out if you’re having trouble latching. A cold washcloth on your boobs between feedings helps too. 
  • Hair loss and skin changes: Just when you got used to your luscious locks, you may start to experience some shedding following your birth and up to five months postpartum. Because your hormones were elevated during pregnancy, which kept your hair from falling out, as you body’s chemicals make their way back to their pre-pregnancy state, so too will your hair. Skin darkening around your face (ie melasma) or on your nippes will start to slowly fade as well.
  • Mood Swings: You’ve been pregnant for basically a year, you’ve just given birth, and you’re swollen, exhausted and wearing a diaper. You may feel a very natural, normal period of the baby blues. If you’re moods are high then low, if you’re crying for no reason, feeling anxious, it’s all totally normal. According to experts, give yourself two weeks of feeling ALL the feels.

    If your blues last beyond that, please talk to your doctor, friends, family and reach out for help.
  • Postpartum Depression: Now known as Postpartum Mood Anxiety Disorder (PMAD), these feelings of depression and anxiety can take many shapes. Your mood might be swinging like crazy, or you have zero appetite and are exhausted all the time. Maybe you’re washing your hands 100 times per day because you don’t want to get the baby sick, or you can’t sleep at night because you’re thinking about all the things.
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    Whatever you’re feeling, know first that it’s TOTALLY NORMAL and affects nearly all postpartum women. Second, please reach out to your friends, family, your doctor and seek help in your community wherever it is. Therapy works, medications work, and we’re for you every step of the way.
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  • Weight Loss: Following your delivery, you may still look pregnant. Most women do. We’re not going to tell you how much weight you should be losing by when. Rather every woman sheds her baby weight differently and at different times. Immediate weight loss will include the baby, placenta and amniotic fluid. Throughout the weeks and months following delivery, your body will continue to shed excess fluids.

    Let it do its job, mama, and know that a healthy diet and exercise can help your FEEL great during this time, and can’t hurt any pre-pregnancy weight goals, either. 

I'm having a boy. Should I circumcise him?

Totally your call mama. Like so many things, circumcision is a 100% personal choice.

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Here’s the gist, though. Circumcision is a relatively common surgical procedure where the hood of your babe’s penis (aka the foreskin) is removed.
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It’s usually done in the hospital at about two days following birth, or for religious or cultural reasons, it might be done at a bit later. The jury is still out as to whether any medical benefits exist in doing it, though advocates for and against it have their own belief systems and reasons. Just know that if you want to circumcise your baby, be sure to talk it over with the doctor who will perform the procedure.
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It’s very quick and isn’t terribly painful, and should you choose to do it, be sure to review any post-circumcision and follow up care.

Bonpoint's Meghan Klopp on her road to motherhood.

By Ruthie Friedlander

Chic as ever, Meghan, public relations & marketing brains behind luxury children’s brand Bonpoint, is pregnant with a little girl.

Before the holidays, we caught up with this all-around-beauty and NYC native about the trials of conceiving, raising kids in the city, and having faith that everything will work out. Plus, what she’s craving (sushi much?), her high hopes for the future, and tips for dressing bébé, of course. 

Path to pregnancy?

My husband and I have been together for six years now and married since June of 2019. We hoped to have kids right after the wedding, but that wasn’t the case. While some people get lucky the first time around, it took much longer than we had anticipated, and every month that passed, the disappointment was excruciating. Of course, like poetry, we finally got pregnant on our 1st wedding anniversary. It was kind of cute and totally unplanned. Overall this whole experience has taught me that I can’t control everything and that ultimately life finds a way. I’m a firm believer there’s a plan for everyone, and what’s meant to be will be. This little bébé was definitely meant to be ours.

Girl or Boy?

We’re having a girl, and couldn’t be more excited! I’ve always dreamed of having a daughter, and for my husband, I don’t think he quite realizes what he’s in for yet. Dads and daughters have such sweet relationships…he may be meeting the love of his life very soon.

Pregnant through Covid?

Mid-march, we moved up to my husband’s family farm in Upstate NY. Seeing as we’re both city kids, spending time in nature, going on walks, and taking care of the animals on the farm was been a very special experience.

A silver lining of getting pregnant during Covid was working remotely. At the peak of my nausea, I don’t know how I would have taken a subway to go to the office! There were some days I could hardly move.

Additionally, because this was my first pregnancy, the fact that my husband couldn’t come to the doctors’ appointments or the scans wasn’t as big of a deal for us because we have never known anything different. Had this been our second, with an experience to compare it to, perhaps we would feel differently. But, in our case, it was just the way it was.

Lastly, the most memorable part of Covid has been the time we have spent with our families. We have so many funny memories of everyone at home, working together, doing everything together. It’s been a real blessing.

Feeling?

I was extremely nauseous for the first five or so months; it was brutal. Before getting pregnant, I was under the impression that “morning sickness” only happened in the morning. But, no, not for me. Instead, it was an ALL day affair. Then, out of the blue, one day, it just stopped.

Now, at 31 weeks, I’m feeling great. We’re splitting our time between the city and country, and I’m trying to remain super active. I walk with a friend twice a week for about 5 miles around Central Park. Plus, I have a trainer that I love; we do kickboxing and lightweights in the park. I’m hoping staying active helps with the delivery and recovery period.

Birth plan?

I love my doctor and trust her explicitly. She is at NY Presbyterian, where I’ll deliver, and “the plan” is to follow her lead regarding whatever is safest for the baby and me. That said, the closer I get to my due date, the more nervous I’m getting, but she is so reassuring every time I talk to her. The reality is, for centuries, women have done this, and I just have to have faith in myself that I can too!

Breastfeeding?

I’m going to try. I’ve heard it’s good for so many reasons, including bonding with the baby, building antibodies, and of course the added perk of weight loss and burning calories (which quite frankly sounds excellent!).

Maternity leave?

I’m fortunate to work with a super supportive team and a great company. I don’t know how I’ll feel post-baby, but I’ve heard from friends that you need about three months to focus solely on the baby. But, who knows, maybe six weeks after I will want to go back and work part-time. Bonpoint is super flexible, and I plan to take it as it comes. Usually, I’m such a planner, but this is one of those things that can’t be planned.

Cravings much?

Sushi for sure. I have been indulging every once and a while in Salmon sushi from Nobu or Kappa Masa. My dear friend is Japanese and assures me that women in Japan eat sushi when pregnant. However, she warned to avoid the big fish that eat other fish such as Tuna because of high mercury levels.

Other than that, my diet has completely changed, and I have so many aversions. Typically I follow a healthier, vegetable-forward diet, but lately, all I want is carbs and sweets and tomatoes. Everything is upside down. For example, I used love raw nuts as a snack, but now, I can’t even look at them! Plus, I’m having a tough time incorporating vegetables and salads into my diet, sadly. I even tried adding spinach to a delicious almond smoothie, but my body knew, and I got sick right straight after. The healthiest thing that my body is craving is tomatoes, and I’m not even into tomatoes. Therefore, I add tomatoes to everything, because otherwise, all I want is baked goods and sweets.

Fun tip! I have tested all the croissants in NY and have found the best plain croissants are from Ladurée…although I won’t admit how many times I have gone there!

As much as I’m craving sweets, I’m trying to incorporate more fruits over desserts into my diet along with protein via yogurt, eggs, avocado, and cheese. Some good news, I passed my gestational diabetes test, which, not going to lie, I was nervous because I have had so many sweets!

Dressing the baby?

I cannot wait to dress her up! Obviously, given where I work, I had to start with a wardrobe from Bonpoint (which is pretty amazing), from the onesies with embroidered collars to the cashmere sets and Bonpoint classic “duchesse” smocked dress. My mom also saved all of my baby clothes, including many vintage Bonpoint and some other beautiful pieces. She and I have the same philosophy of quality over quantity; that in mind, I hope to dress our little girl only in the softest, coziest, but most beautiful pieces. It’s probably easy to say this now before she is born but somehow my mom always dressed us up no matter where we were going, even if it was just to play at home; I hope to do the same.

One Hope?

I am relieved my daughter will not have to live a day under the current administration. I have high hopes for our future, but we have many challenges to overcome in her lifetime. Not just in this country but the world has a lot of work to do and improvements to make from climate change to racism and gender equality.

My husband and I loved growing up in NYC for its diversity and cultural exposure, and we want to raise our children here for the same reason. Everyone in this city is different and celebrated for it. You grow up with a “savoir faire” unlike any other place in the world.

Any advice?

It’s ok to be scared. It’s ok to be disappointed. In the end, we have to have faith that everything will work out. Life throws you curveballs. None of us have any idea what the future holds, which is petrifying. But I know the best is yet to come.

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