Because your Babe Deserves Mozart (Or Stevie Nicks) These earbuds make it easy.
By Babe | All photos by BellyBuds
“My husband and I joke that our BellyBuds were an Ipod for our baby. I used it throughout my pregnancy after I read how a baby’s hearing develops in utero at about 20 weeks. I figured I could play him some of our favorite tunes. Another cute thing we did is record messages from our parents so he recognized their voices. Also, if you’re working with a surrogate, these earbuds can help familiarize your baby with your voice in advance. I remember at one ultrasound when getting photos of our baby was proving quite difficult, I played some Led Zeppelin and he switched positions immediately.”
Does Motherhood Make You Hotter? An investigation.
By Babe | Photo by @cyndiramirez
There’s a lot of talk about pregnancy glow, but judging by these new moms, it’s got nothing on the beauty that comes with new motherhood. We’re talking pared down, over-the-moon, sleep-deprived LOVE — and it’s working for these ladies. I guess what we’re saying is, skip the Botox and have a baby instead. Ha, who are we kidding? Do both.
Peep the gorgeousness, below.
Fun fact: if you look up ‘effortless’ in the dictionary, this photo shows up. Photo by Thammy
Pia Baroncini, Founder of LPA On her years-long path to pregnancy.
By Ruthie Friedlander
As cool as they come with the brains (and soul) to match, Pia, the superstar creative director behind sought after fashion brand LPA, host of Everything is the Best podcast, and CMO of Ghiaia Cashmere is about to become a mom.
Recently, we hung with this all-around rockstar (and total smokeshow) to chat about her years-long road to conceive. Here, she dishes on being told she’s old, taking vitamins, saying prayers, seeing doctors, and crying on podcasts. And, how as fate would have it — just as she gave up — she got pregnant naturally and so very unexpectedly.
Before we got married two years ago, we started talking about having babies. Over the years, I had heard so many challenging stories from girlfriends about fertility and was nervous we’d have a hard time getting pregnant. But, we had this romantic notion that it would “just happen” as soon as we tried and dismissed our fears.
After the wedding, I went to my OBGYN (who ironically is the same doctor that delivered me) to run some test. I told him we were planning to try for a baby and wanted to check my fertility levels beforehand. His response? Try for six months and come back if there’s an issue—and therein lies my entire frustration with our mediocre medical system. It made zero sense that he wouldn’t run a standard set of tests covered under insurance in advance of our trying. After all, why waste 6 months or a year if we could have real information now? I left his office feeling defeated.
Nevertheless, we got pregnant four months later and were overwhelmed with excitement and joy. Then, sadly, I miscarried a few weeks later. Although common, it was deeply disappointing.
We took a moment after the miscarriage to reset before starting to try again. When nothing was happening, I consulted an IVF doctor. At my first appointment, he told me I was a perfect candidate for IVF because of “my age!” While the doctor meant well and was speaking in terms of stats, to be told that you’re old at 33 is alarming.
What was the turning point?
Right around the same time, I did a podcast with Alisa Vitti,the author of In the Flow and founder of Flo Living. On that podcast, Alisa explained how hormonally disruptive fasting and HIIT workouts can be for women. I cried openly on her podcast because I had been intermittent fasting for close to 6 years and regularly working out on an empty stomach; virtually everything I was in the habit of doing was terrible for my body. She went on to explain that as women, we need to cycle sync. This involves adjusting your workouts and what you’re eating, depending on where you are in your cycle. That conversation changed my life. I immediately began to modify the way I was eating and moving. Plus, I started taking her prenatal vitamins and supplements like Vitex Berry (which makes you really fertile). In no time, I had regulated my heavy bleeding and my cycle. It was unbelievable.
Feeling better in my body but still not pregnant, I went back to the IVF doctor, intending to start IVF. However, at that appointment, he commented that 50% of getting pregnant is a mental process, which resonated with me. I realized what we were doing wasn’t working. I was unhappy at that point because every month, we were planning our sex life around ovulation, putting all this pressure on our relationship, and waiting with bated breath for two weeks after sex for the results. The anticipation was jarring, and the disappointment heartwrenching. So, we said fuck it, fuck it to the whole thing. We ended the IVF talks and stopped “trying” altogether. My plan was to simply be still, eat lots of yummy proteins, rich vegetables, stop working out, and start eating breakfast. I went on long walks and did yoga. My goal was to nurture myself and my well-being.
Four months later, deep into taking care of myself and my mental health, I got pregnant naturally without even trying. I didn’t even realize we were ovulating. It was awesome!
How did it feel finally being pregnant?
Like I said, it happened when we least expected it. We had a beautiful evening one night, simply loving each other with no agenda to “get pregnant.” Then, a few weeks later, I was doing a story for IG Live promoting a local bookstore I grew up going to and started crying uncontrollably. I was like, ‘why is the bookstore triggering me so much?‘
I knew something was up so I ran to take my Modern Fertility pregnancy test after the IG Live. Within seconds it returned a strong line that meant I was pregnant. Hysterical, I bolted downstairs and screamed to my mom that I was pregnant! I couldn’t wait for Davide to get home so I FaceTimed him with the news. It was wild.
It’s funny, in the beginning, I was so focused on all these silly details like the sex of the baby or its astrological sign. I was dying to be a mother of all boys, and didn’t want a Scorpio (like me) or a Gemini. So, of course, I ended up with a Gemini girl! Meanwhile, Davide did want a girl. I think we are both trying to make up for the loss of our parents; a little boy for me to carry on my father’s legacy and Davide, a girl, after losing his mother whom we are are naming our daughter after…Carmella. It’s so Italian.
Best laid plans?
Like the sex and astrological sign, I had “planned” on getting pregnant on my thinner side and in top shape, with all of my botox and laser hair removal, but instead, I got pregnant at my heaviest, with no botox and ALL the hair. While those things sound very shallow, for a modern woman, especially one that works, they’re things we’re used to that make us feel good. But par for the course, this has been yet another lesson in letting go.
Birth plan?
In a dream world, it’s at home. I’m trying to see if my doctor will come to my house along with my midwife, but if not, we’ll have her at Huntington Hospital, where I was born. I want to give birth in a very unobstructed way without drugs. Fortunately, I love my midwife and my doctor, whom in particular is young and thoughtful with a very low C-section rate at under 10%. I’m in good hands.
I eat pretty much the same as when I’m not pregnant. My rule is 90% healthy, 10% naughty, and I aim for most of my plate to have nutritional value for me and the baby. I make sure to get protein in every meal, I add hemp hearts to salads, eat lots of healthy fats, greek yogurt for my microbiome, and tons of leafy greens. The 10%, on the other hand, is pizza and ice cream from time to time, just for fun.
Breastfeeding?
I would love to breastfeed and will probably do it for about 3 months. As a working mom, this feels like a realistic goal. If I go longer, that’s great. Ideally, I want her sleep trained by 12 weeks old, sleeping 12 hours a night, and a healthy, chunky baby at 12 pounds.
Maternity Leave
I can’t really take a full maternity leave with the business. Therefore, I envision an email away message that says, ‘I had a baby, so please be patient,‘ but I will definitely be checking email. I don’t really have a choice. Honestly, I don’t even know who’s going to run our Instagram. Plus, there’s no way that I’m going to stay out of our monthly design meeting. Not because I don’t trust my team to handle it but because I love to be there and involved. Plus, quarantine has taught everyone how to work efficiently from a distance, so maternity leave doesn’t feel that daunting with everyone essentially doing it.
One hope?
I hope there’ll be a natural shift in everyone’s moral compass, especially related to raising children. I can’t tell you how often I hear someone say, we’re only having two kids because they’re so expensive. I keep thinking, ‘how can you limit the size of your heart because of the size of your bank account?’ Hopefully, this period will allow everyone to embrace a refreshed set of values wherein going to the best college or growing up super-rich is not the end-all-be-all. Instead, those who are quick to pivot and are critical thinkers will prevail. Hopefully, going forward, we don’t value our children or their accomplishments solely on things that require an extreme amount of money or elitism.
Advice?
I highly recommend this company called Modern Fertility. They offer all the tests for $160 that you would typically pay thousands for with a traditional doctor. After going through my experience, my advice would be to get all your levels checked sooner rather than later so you can make informed decisions for yourself, but then Chill. The. Fuck. Out. Like, for real. Having done this myself, it was a beautiful reminder and self-practice because that’s when she came. She came when I was relaxed and so in love with my husband. Love is the portal from which they want to enter. Lastly, eat right and do all those things, but know that’s how you should be living anyway.
Nine Must-Haves for Low-Waste Parenting Peace out, paper towels.
By Abby K. Cannon, dietitian, sustainability expert and founder of Abby’s Food Court
Everything about having a baby is overwhelming, reducing waste and saving the planet doesn’t have to be! With these tips you’ll feel empowered (and excited) to raise your babe in an eco-conscious home.
Now, I admit. It’s a bit ironic to compile a list of “must-haves” for low-waste parenting as the ultimate goal of low waste living is to live with less. That said, there are some items that truly are must-haves. These items are functional, easy to get your hands on, and drastically reduce the amount of waste you and your baby produce. Just remember, you don’t have to do it all! Find a balance that works for you and build upon it when you’re ready.
I know I know, starting off with cloth diapers is aggressive. But, a list of the must-haves for low-waste parenting isn’t complete without them! I promise, they’re much less overwhelming than they seem, especially when you know the staggering stats about disposable diapers.
In the U.S. alone, we throw away 37 BILLION disposable diapers each year. Those diapers make up 30% (yes, 30%!) of non-biodegradable waste in landfills. You’ll be relieved to hear that cloth diapers are more doable than I expected. They prevent waste from entering landfills and help you save money. The initial investment is more than disposables, but you can use them for all your babies and even sell them after use. (There’s a thriving used cloth diaper market).
My favorite brand of cloth diapers is Esembly. The website explains exactly what you need from diapering to laundering to caring for baby’s delicate skin. Additionally, the inner liners (the part that touches baby) are made of organic cotton. We only experienced a real blow out (aka when poo finds its way out of the diaper and onto everything around it) once. And that was when we weren’t using Esembly diapers! The two-part diapering system (inner liner + cute outer cover) really protects against nasty poo-splosions.
Now that you have cloth diapers on your mind, let’s talk wipes. A guiding principle of low-waste living involves avoiding single-use items as often as possible. Baby wipes are used for only a few seconds before they go straight into the garbage. (BTW- never flush wipes down the toilet or you’ll have many other poo-problems).
Not only do wipes contribute to landfill waste, but also many of them are made of questionable ingredients. The cloths themselves are likely made out of plastic or other materials that are treated with harsh chemicals. (Companies legally don’t have to disclose what the wipe itself is made of). And, there are likely other harmful chemicals, like phthalates, lurking in the cleaning solutions.
The best way to avoid waste and to protect your baby from harmful chemicals is to use cloth wipes. All you really need to clean your baby is a cloth wipe sprayed with water (see below!). If you want a non-toxic soap, Esembly has a great option. I use organic cotton cloth wipes for diaper changes and cleaning my baby (all. day. long.). I find that organic cotton wears the best. Bamboo tends to get stiffer over time with washing.
Photo by Stocksy
3. Stainless Steel Spray Bottle
Stainless steel spray bottles filled with water are the best for cleaning baby! When you have to change baby or clean up after a messy meal, simply spray your cloth wipes with water and wipe away.
I prefer stainless steel over glass because if your baby is anything like mine, he/she will get hold of the spray bottle and throw it. Some don’t feel comfortable with stainless steel bottles for that reason. So, I also recommend a plastic spray bottle. (I rarely recommend using plastic, but this is one instance where it makes sense).
I know you want to dress your cute baby in the chicest outfits that are healthy for baby (no toxic chemicals!) and healthy for the planet. But, organic baby clothing is pricy AND babies grow out of clothes SO FAST. It seems like one second your carefully folding gorgeous newborn clothes and the next second you’re rummaging through your messy drawers searching for something, anything, that fits your growing babe. Because babies grow quickly, it’s great to rely on second-hand clothes from friends and family. Many of the outfits are barely worn!
If you’re the first of your friends and family to have a baby (congratulations!), check out companies like UpChoose that rents baby clothes and Little Lentil that takes back and sells used clothes. By using second-hand clothes or renting clothes, you avoid sending perfectly good clothing to landfill!
It’s also a good idea to line up where the clothes are going to go once your babe grows out of them. I use canvas storage trunks from The Laundress to store clothes for baby number two. If you think you’re on your last baby, choose a lucky friend or charity to receive the clothes. Please don’t throw them away! FYI- Thred Up accepts baby clothes that are in great shape.
5. Sustainable Pillow for Pregnancy, Breastfeeding, Naps and Beyond
Purchasing items that serve multiple purposes is essential for low waste living. Yet so many items marketed for pregnancy and parenting have very short lifespans.
The “Boppy” is on most must-have-for-baby lists and for good reason. Having ANYTHING that makes breastfeeding and bottle feeding easier is more than welcome! However, because of its shape, it’s not really useful for anything other than feeding. (Plus, it’s not made with sustainable materials).
I love The Sustainable Baby Co.’s MoonWomb™ pillow as it serves multiple functions and it’s made from the highest quality materials (think organic cotton and organic buckwheat shells). You can use it during pregnancy to support your growing bump (especially important when trying to get comfortable in those last few weeks), for feeding baby in any position for optimal support for baby and comfort for you, and for tummy time and supervised naps. And, because it’s so comfortable and beautiful, you can use it long after you finish breast or bottle feeding! You can even use it as a bolster — place it under your knees and lie back. (All mamas need and deserve this deeply restorative yoga pose).
Plastic contains many chemicals, including known endocrine disruptors, and isn’t infinitely recyclable, meaning it eventually ends up in landfill or our oceans. The chemicals in plastic can leach into the food/beverages that we then eat or drink— the warmer the food/beverage, the more likely leaching will occur. FYI: Breastmilk and formula are served warm!
Glass baby bottles are a great alternative to plastic. Mason Bottle makes ones that can turn 4-ounce and 8-ounce mason jars into baby bottles. The silicone sleeves protect the bottles from breaking! And you’ll be able to use the mason jars long after baby stops drinking milk.
7. Subscriptions for Deodorant, Soap, Shampoo, Conditioner and Toothpaste
When caring for a baby, it’s all too easy to forget to care for yourself. That’s why subscribing to your favorite zero-waste, non-toxic products is a real lifesaver. Many high-quality brands offer subscriptions (with the added bonus of a discount when you subscribe!). I love Meow Meow Tweet’s deodorant and hair care products and Bite toothpaste bits. Package Free Shop also offers subscriptions on a great selection of products.
It’s amazing not to have to remember to order your own products! (Now all you have to do is remember to shower).
Photo by Abby Cannon
8.“Naked” Snacks
As a dietitian, a list of must-haves is never complete without mentioning food. Like self-care products, it’s also easy to forget to adequately nourish ourselves. And because the most convenient snacks are wrapped in single-use plastic packaging, having a plan to “snack naked,” as I call it, is a game changer.
Snacking naked involves having package free snacks on hand. As luck would have it, package free foods just so happen to be the healthiest for you, your baby, and the planet! Think fruits and veggies bought without plastic, and nuts, seeds, and dried fruit from the bulk section of supermarkets. During the first few weeks after my baby was born, every night I put a 16-ounce glass jar filled with nuts and dates on my nightstand. I ate the whole jar to keep myself nourished (and awake). Check out my blog for more ideas for snacking naked.
Also, I highly suggest incorporating prunes into your daily routine. There’s no more important time to support being regular than after having a baby. Trust me!
When you live less disposably, there’s no doubt more stuff to carry around. Having a REALLY LARGE diaper bag saves you from having many smaller bags to remember to pack and bring back home. I put my baby’s diapers in the Esembly diaper bag (which has a designated compartment for dirty diapers) and then I put everything else in my large Mina Baie backpack.
Two of my friends gifted me very large personalized tote bags and they are lifesavers. I never thought that I’d need bags so large, but we use them all the time. They’re particularly great for transporting our stash of cloth diapers when we go on road trips.
I hope this list helps you on your quest to reduce waste as a parent! It takes all of our small commitments to really make a difference. No step is too small!
Store Your Baby Clothing Like a Pro We're talking Big Virgo energy.
“Once my baby grows out of her clothing, I pack all those baby clothes inside diaper boxes of the corresponding size (newborn clothes in newborn diaper box, 0-3 months inside a size 1 diaper box, and so on.) That way it’s super easy to unpack for the next kid and I know that only that size was in each box!
Nathalie Walton on the Power of Hypnobirthing The Expectful CEO talks breathing through pain.
By Nathalie Walton | Photo by Christine Coakley
Long before I even considered having a baby, I remember first hearing about hypnobirthing from my best friend over lunch.
“Hypnobirthing? What the heck is that?” I recall blurting out in disbelief as I munched on my kale salad. My mind filled with images of women undergoing hypnosis while in the depths of labor pain. Even for a self-proclaimed wellness junkie like myself who regularly meditated and practiced yoga daily, I couldn’t wrap my head around this.
Fast forward to my own birth at the end of last year. Into my third trimester I decided that I was committed to having an unmedicated delivery. So I did everything I could to prepare. I selected the right doula and I read every book on having an unmedicated birth. One thing I knew was that I wanted to keep a positive mindset around childbirth.
But I soon realized that the biggest and most important issue that I neglected was how do I prepare my mind for the actual pain?
Like most new mothers, I earnestly googled late at night, spending hours researching. And there it was again…hypnobirthing.
Unlike the absurd images I’d previously imagined, I learned that hypnobirthing is an evidence-based wellness tool that teaches us to think of labor differently — with less anxiety and fear. By using breathing, visualization, and mind techniques, we’re taught to think about our contractions as “uterine waves,” which helps us overcome the pain when giving birth. More than that, practicing deep relaxation with guided hypnobirthing tracks can also reduce symptoms of depression during pregnancy and the early postpartum period.
After reading all of that, something clicked. At week 32, I decided to truly invest in this tool by committing to an audio hypnobirthing course. Over the next few weeks, I religiously practiced my breathing exercises and concentrated on my mind-body connection every night .
I became so good at mastering relaxation and present-moment mindfulness that I didn’t even realize when I was in full-blown labor!
The day I began experiencing some cramping, I immediately dialed into my breathing to help me deal with the pain, figuring it was just some minor discomfort that would pass. Eventually the cramps got worse and worse. It was only twelve hours after that I realized I might be in labor because my water broke — I’d become so entranced by my hypnobirthing exercises that the pain had become quite manageable.
As we drove to the hospital, instead of fixating on the cramps, I focused on each inhale and exhale, because it was the only thing I could control. I remained calm, remembering to think of each new contraction like a wave spreading over my body.
I’d become so entranced by my hypnobirthing exercises that the pain had become quite manageable.
But by the time we arrived, I was in so much pain that I could barely walk. I was shocked when the doctor told me I was eight centimeters dilated!
Later, as I sat in the labor and delivery room, I refused the epidural and just kept breathing deeply. My doula suggested nitrous oxide and this turned out to be the best decision for me. As I went through a contraction, I’d simply breathe in the nitrous oxide using the techniques I learned in hypnobirthing and the pain felt like just another ripple passing through. I knew that as I kept breathing, each contraction was getting me one step closer to meeting my baby.
Things quickly escalated from there. I got to nine then 10 centimeters and finally I was ready to push — entirely unmedicated — all through the power of hypnobirthing. But as I began to push, the doctors realized I was having a placental abruption and I was rushed to an emergency C-section instead.
I gave up my hope of having an unmedicated birth when I was put under general anesthesia to undergo the surgery.
While l didn’t get to have the unmedicated birth I’d planned for, I’m so grateful for the power of hypnobirthing because it allowed me to experience what it’s like to get to 10 centimeters dilated without medicine. I can honestly say that it was one of the most empowering experiences I’ve ever encountered — to know on a profound level that I’m able to control my pain threshold by simply breathing deeply.
When I joined the team at Expectful, one of the things I most wanted to bring to users was this ability to find inner strength. A dream that’s now turned reality with our recent launch of a hypnobirthing course on the Expectful app. Whether a woman is looking to have an unmedicated birth or they want an epidural, it’s a really powerful tool to help the mind and body overcome the physical challenges birth presents.
As new mothers, we have an immense amount of power, yet it’s often the fear of the unknown that keeps us from discovering what we’re truly capable of. Learning mindfulness tools like hypnobirthing not only helped me cope with my own fears and prepared my body for labor, it enabled me to see just how powerful I truly am.
Educational, Chic AF & Kid-Approved Introducing your next favorite kid's toy brand.
By Babe | Photos by Wiwiurka
If you were too look up “family-owned and operated business” in a visual dictionary, you would likely find a photo of the Ana and Marek Schultz, the wife and husband couple behind Mexico-based toy company Wiwiurka.
“My children test all the products from the start. Observing them playing inspires me to create new designs,” Ana tells us about her family-unit working style. “At the beginning of our family business adventure, [the children] even helped me apply linseed oils to some toys. They are part of all our photos sessions and help me make videos,” she continued. “Running a family business can be hard for the kids. The past [few] years we have been learning to balance work and family time.”
The balancing of which has become increasingly difficult as their brand – Wiwiurka – has continued to steadily grow, becoming known as an ideal option for the parent looking for something that doesn’t leave an eyesore in an otherwise chic and adult-decorated apartment and finds itself at the intersection play and education.
Here, we talk to Ana about the inspiration behind her educationally-inspired company, the importance of putting nature at the forefront of her products, and her best advice for moms wanting to start their own businesses.
What inspired you to start Wiwiurka?
[My family’s] love for nature. My husband and I both love wood—the textures, smells, colors and the connection with the forest. Wood is a sustainable material but beyond that, it’s a material that truly nurtures all your senses. We really had a desire to offer our own children the best experiences and play adventures.
You’ve focused on the intersection of play and education. Why is that so important to you?
My main interest when I became a mother 10 years ago was learning educational alternatives to accompany my daughter’s development and learning process. I closely studied the Waldorf pedagogy and the teachings of Dr. Emmi Pikler and later of Dr. Montessori.
I homeschooled my daughters until a few years ago. Seeing their interests, the way each one learned differently and how I could help them overcome obstacles or feel motivated has been one of my main inspirations.
What makes Wiwiurka’s products unique?
Every product we create is touched by a pair of hands who take care of it. The love we have for what we do—we are so passionate about [the brand] and this can really be seen by offering the best experiences for our customers, from guiding a clueless new mom about what toy is the best for her child, to offering amazing customer service, to inventing new, handcrafted pieces with care and love that bring joy and happiness to every home.
After applying paint and wood sealant, each piece is sanded for one last time to obtain a smooth perfect texture.
Each piece is carefully painted by hand; the challenge of the artisan process is linked to the lead times, the beauty relies on the fact that each piece is handcrafted individually.
A sweet explosion of color; Ana has worked for many years mixing colors and creating Wiwiurka’s color palettes, being Rainbow Pastel among the most popular ones.
Each set of rocker slats are wrapped in plastic film to protect them from humidity, ensuring everything arrives in perfect shape.
Each rod is handmade, precision is key during this part of the process.
Each piece is stamped by hand; the beauty of unique pieces.
The wooden “rocks” awaiting the last step of the manufacturing process of our rock climbing boards. Rocker slats awaiting their turn to be completed.
Were there any challenges you faced amidst the pandemic in terms of production/creation?
The main challenge has been the lack of supplies or extended time frames to receive the materials we require [to make our unique products]. Thankfully, the rural village where the workshop is located has had no COVID-19 cases, which is a blessing. We have been able to keep production going.
We are passionate about handmade products, yes, but even more than that, it is a priority to our entire family that we can offer well-paying jobs so that people don’t have to leave their homes. Every Wiwiurka handmade toy supports the local economy and goes to keeping a worker and his or her family safe and stable.
Your tagline is “elevating play experience for children.” Tell us more.
We strive to create innovative, versatile, aesthetic toys for indoor and outdoor play. I would say the design, materials, and multipurpose of our toys elevates children’s play experience and invites parents to join in the fun.
What advice would you give to a mother with young children wanting to start her own business?
Have a clear idea of why you want to start your business. It is hard, yes, but it’s absolutely worth it. Dedicate time to each area of your life (personal, romantic, parental…) Plan ahead. Read as much as you can. Do not be afraid to reach out to people with more experience for help or advice. Find your tribe.
I Kinda Like Quarantine? (But I feel bad saying it out loud.)
By Babe | Photo by Stocksy
Quarantine sucks, right? We’re all hunkered down, eating in every night, not traveling or putting on pretty shoes or going to parties or concerts. When we do try to see friends, we’re usually sitting outside in the cold talking about Covid-19. So we can all agree that it’s a super lame time, right?
Or, maybe not.
“I’m an introvert so this time oddly suits me,” says Leigh Abrams, a New York-based copywriter. “There’s zero social pressure to do anything or make plans that you wind up dreading and then ultimately canceling. I get to hang with my husband in my sweatpants and not go into my office. Of course, Covid-19 has totally devastated people’s lives on so many levels, and I’m lucky to still have work and my health. But all things considered, I’m quite enjoying the new day-to-day.”
For a select few, Covid-19 is not the terrible time we’ve all come to acknowledge as fact. Yep, despite the 2020 memes and viral tweets, these lucky introverts are finding themselves free of social obligations and pants that button. For some, the pandemic has removed a variety of social pressure and anxieties, leaving them feeling a bit relieved.
“The pandemic is by no means a similar experience for everyone,” says Jacqueline K. Furst, a therapist based in New York. “While some people are overwhelmed, depressed or anxious, others are thriving. It’s all normal, as life’s experiences are always layered and complex. It’s important not to assume that even though as a society we are going through a similar experience, that we are all experiencing it as bad or uncomfortable.”
So if you’re one of the few enjoying this dialed back time, live it up. But before you go gloating, remember that it’s not all sweatpants and Netflix. Many many people have lost loved ones to Covid-19, or their jobs. Women are leaving the workplace in droves to care for their kids at home, and the economy is in shambles. By the way, it might be worth looking at your pre-Covid life to see how you can carry some of the same laid-back energy into your post-Covid life. But whatever you’re feeling right now, even if it’s totally confusion, it’s all good.
“There is no normal to coping during the pandemic just as there is no normal way to cope with any crisis,” says Furst. “It’s important to be open to a range of emotions that you feel or have felt during the past eight months without judgement.”
In 2021, Self-Care Can Just be “Good Enough” Perinatal Mental Health Specialist Kim Jones weighs in.
By Kim Jones | photo by HATCH
You can finally exhale. 2020 is almost over, as is hopefully Zoom school, Zoom trivia night, Zoom anything. So, to help you plan a sustainable way to care for yourself in the coming year, a year filled with optimism, joy, and a vaccine (hopefully), we tapped HATCH healthcare advisor and perinatal mental health specialist, Kim Jones to share the path to wellness in 2021.
Before we talk about next year, let’s slow down and assess how you’re feeling after having a baby. This can be especially critical for new moms whose incredible new babe has made their official debut but potentially changed the way they’re experiencing life. So, with 2020 almost behind us, let’s assess two feelings:
Recognize Your Need for Alone Time
Has your family or babe been in your personal space all day? One hour by yourself can go a long way.
I often recommend just going to the store by yourself, even if there’s nothing to buy.
And Your Need for Connection
Covid-19 and quarantine may have you feeling a little lonely. Things have changed and, while the baby (or belly) got some attention, you didn’t get the real-deal connection you crave with the adults at the table.
If you’re feeling a sense of lacking, it’s okay to schedule more time. Book a phone call, a facetime date, or download Marco Polo to catch up when you DO have the time.
I tell my patients to take time to reflect on what served you over the past year to help inform your visions for the next. What helped energize you? What filled your cup and what has drained it unnecessarily? Use these learnings into your plans for 2021.
Plan Your Self-Care
Let’s be honest, pending where you are on the journey, you may not have the time for more self-care. But, if you plan it now, instead of waiting for when you really need it, it’s more likely to happen. Many of my patients lean on a light schedule, or even a vision board as they approach having a baby.
Make it Micro
Before becoming a mom, self-care might have looked like an hour of pilates. Now, it might be 10 minutes of stretching. Instead of 20 minutes of meditation, make it two minutes or schedule in some deep breathing while you’re with babe. This is what I like to call Micro Self-Care and it is CRITICAL to honor these moments and make space for them. Be flexible with what works and be aware that it doesn’t need to look a certain way.
Put Away the Perfectionist
One common pitfall of a lot of moms is the expectation that everything is going to look and be perfect. I find this to be incredibly self-defeating for my patients, especially when making new year’s resolutions.
Lean into the concept of being a good enough mom and taking care of yourself in a new way, with realistic standards for your new normal.
Keep the Goals to a Minimum
Don’t make 10 resolutions for next year. It can be helpful to keep your list short and with flexibility to move and shake. One of my favorite references is The Well Mom Checklist. It was developed by my practice owner at Houston’s Center for Postpartum Family Health and it has quite frankly has gone viral across OB’s in the city.
Getaway Spots to Add to Your List ...because a mom can dream, right?
By Babe | Photo by @thelittleblackshack
If you’re anything like us, when it comes to traveling, browsing for places to stay is just as fun as actually going on the vacation. That’s why we had absolutely no problem looking up some dreamy accommodations for all the trips we didn’t get to take in 2020. It’s alright mama, we’re almost on the other side of all of this, so just bookmark these bad boys and save ’em for later — a Covid-free later.
Not your average patio (thank goodness). Photo courtesy Airbnb
Because you’re outdoorsy in that you like staying in well-equipped cabins. Photo courtesy Airbnb
