Children holding hands at daycare.Children holding hands at daycare.

Navigating Attachment Anxiety During the Back-to-School Season Be gone, BTS jitters!

By Amber Trueblood | Photo by Stocksy

The joyous laughter of summer is behind us, and the Back-to-School season is upon us, bringing along a flurry of emotions for both you and your babe. As backpacks begin to be loaded and school buses rev their engines, many parents begin grappling with a phenomenon known as “attachment anxiety.”

The transition from spending all day together to being apart for long hours can trigger a range of emotions, from fear to stress to worry, both in babes and parents. So, how can parents support their kids in this emotionally charged transition while also managing their own anxieties?

We chatted with Amber Trueblood, bestselling author, licensed therapist, and mom of four, to delve into the emotional challenges parents face as their children step into new classrooms and adjust to new routines. From recognizing the signs of anxiety in children to practicing self-care as a mom, this article aims to offer a comprehensive guide to navigate the emotional rollercoaster that is the Back-to-School season.

For those unfamiliar with the term, can you explain attachment anxiety and why it might be heightened for parents and kids during the Back to School season?
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Attachment anxiety is fear and worry associated with separation from a parent or primary caregiver. After a summertime of several months, kids become accustomed to virtually 24-hour access to mom. Transitioning from a full-access mom to no mom for six-plus hours a day can be emotionally shocking for many children.

Many parents are sending their children to day programs for the first time. What are their most common anxieties, and how do you suggest they navigate these emotions?

Anxiety can show up in a variety of ways. Kids might say they’re afraid of the teacher, the homework, making friends, or getting hurt. However, not all kids will express their anxiety verbally. Some might show anxiety through behavior changes like becoming withdrawn, irritable, or agitated. I recommend parents watch for any marked change in behavior or emotionality in their children. When navigating challenging emotions, the first step is “seeking to understand.” Reflecting on the validity of your child’s feelings without amplifying their anxiety is an essential first step. Next, parents can teach simple strategies for noticing and reducing feelings of anxiety and emotional overwhelm in their children.

How can mothers balance their anxieties and emotions so as not to heighten their child’s anxiety unintentionally?

Children pick up on mom’s anxieties quite naturally and easily. Parents who feel anxious can learn and utilize preventative and in-the-moment strategies to reduce their stress and overwhelm.

Do you recommend any morning rituals or practices that can help ease both mom and child on days when they’re apart?

  1. Start a morning “highlights” practice where the child shares “three tiny things” they’re looking forward to that day at school.
  2. Create a special handshake during drop-off and pick-up (instead of a prolonged hug that might easily lead to tears and make it even harder to separate).
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  3. Practice a mindfulness exercise where the child finds three small things in nature, two subtle sounds, and one smell to calm their nervous system.

Can you suggest some tools or exercises that parents can utilize when they feel overwhelmed?

  1. Focus on the benefits. Parents can reduce anxiety by listing how their child benefits from this experience.
  2. Healthy distractions. Instead of scrolling on the school’s social media site or calling the school to check in, work on a passion project, work at a paid job, or volunteer.
  3. True self-care. Spend 20-30 minutes doing a physical activity you enjoy, particularly one that doesn’t necessarily lead to income or a cleaner house.

If a child continues to exhibit signs of attachment anxiety after the initial adjustment period, what steps should a mom consider to support her child?

If a child doesn’t appear to be adjusting after three weeks, consider checking in with both their pediatrician and a child therapist who might be able to provide more specific tools and support for the entire family.

What’s the one piece of advice you’d like every mom to remember as she navigates the challenges and emotions of the Back to School season with her young child?

During Back to School Season, parents who wish to consistently care for their families physically and emotionally must prioritize their own physical and emotional needs higher on their to-do lists. Often, it’s plainly not possible to sustain their current level of functioning without significant repercussions to their relationships, health, financial life, career, or emotional well-being.

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laws of breastfeedinglaws of breastfeeding

A Short History of Breastfeeding From Wet Nursing to Free the Nipple.

By Brandi Jordan

Swehl’s Brandi Jordan, is a Board Certified Lactation Consultant, Pediatric Sleep Specialist, Newborn Care Specialist, and Postpartum Doula to clients like Mandy Moore. She is the founder of The Cradle Company and the National Association of Birth Workers of Color. She holds a BA in Child Development and a Master’s of Social Work from USC. 

Breastfeeding is as old as time. However, the pendulum often swings to it being in and out of fashion. As early as the 16th century, philosophers and doctors began emphasizing the emotional benefits of a mother breastfeeding her child herself—when possible. Even today, the possibility of breastfeeding relies heavily on monetary and societal factors that are out of a parent’s control in many cases. In honor of Breastfeeding Awareness Month, and more specifically, Black Breastfeeding Week (August 25-31), we’re discussing the (long!) history and social implications of feeding: exclusive breastfeeding, bottle feeding and formula. Let’s dig in!

(P.S. if you want to watch an awesome video version of this, check out Brandi’s Instagram.)

Wet Nursing

Wet nursing (i.e., breastfeeding someone else’s child) began as a necessary alternative when a mother could not feed her newborn. Without modern resources, many new mothers fell sick or died during childbirth, leaving those in their family or village who were already nursing to take on that responsibility to ensure the baby could survive.

In the 1800s, wet nursing became one of choice, where families with financial means would outsource the feeding of their children by employing poor women, indentured servants, or worse, in America, enslaved Black women. Slavery-based wet nursing, where no money was exchanged, also meant that black babies did not thrive, as they got whatever milk was left over (if any). This necessitated enslaved people to learn to make synthetic milk for their babies, and with the lack of resources, it was not the quality that infants required.

Despite its common reputation, wet nursing was a visible occupation until the 1920s in the United States. Hospitals had wings of wet nurses, and they were in high demand. Unfortunately, wet nurses were usually single women who’d been abandoned by the father of their children. The cycle continued if they went to work for a private family, leaving their own child to be relegated to a foundling home. Again, we see babies from affluent families thriving here.

Innovation

Women got one step closer to having more autonomy while feeding their young children in 1854 when the first patent for a manual breast pump was filed. These first pumps were relegated to very sick or premature infants in the hospital setting but kicked into motion alternatives.

Enter formula: Formula was invented a few years later, in the 1860s, and began to be mass marketed; its development was expedited by the end of slavery, and social norms around wet nursing shifted to a negative view of the practice. When Similac was introduced in the 1920s with “a composition closer to breast milk,” formula truly took off while breastfeeding rates descended rapidly.

As doctors suggested formula as the better way to feed your baby, a class system around infant feeding began: the wealthy accessed formula, and those less fortunate were forced to breastfeed, creating a stigma that breastfeeding signified low class. This was the start of breastfeeding being out of style for much of the century.

Free The Nipple

This all changed in the late 1970s when world leaders boycotted Nestle, who at the time was the largest producer of formula, due to a steep rise in infant mortality rates pointing to babies being fed with contaminated water, mainly due to how the formula was marketed to poor women. At this same time, the Hippie Movement was in full swing; women wanted to reclaim their bodies, their sexuality, and their freedom by reimagining how they would birth their babies. A rise in home births and a renewed connection to breastfeeding began and is the start of breastfeeding as we see it today.

Working 9-to-5

Despite breastfeeding trends rising, there was still a conflict for women who wanted to be in the workforce, which at that time did not support breastfeeding mothers. This all started to change in 1991 when Medela sold the first hospital-grade pump for home use, making it possible for more women to go to the office and breastfeed, specifically those who worked in corporate settings. At this point, we start seeing for the first time that more affluent women and families began breastfeeding than socioeconomically disadvantaged due to lack of resources and support‚a trend that persists today.

Modern Times

In the past 20+ years, we have had some policy-related shifts in feeding. In 2010, Federal Fair Labor Standards required employers by law to provide a private space for lactation (that is not a bathroom) for hourly employees, which was a great step forward toward bridging the socioeconomic gap in infant feeding. In 2018, Utah and Idaho (finally!) legalized breastfeeding in public, making it legal in all 50 states; however, the shame and stigma of breastfeeding in public persists.

Access

It is so important to look back so we can move forward. The one constant in breastfeeding’s modern history is that affluent women have options, while women of color or any Black woman, regardless of socioeconomic status, lack them. We’ve done a complete 360 socially on what and who gets to breastfeed, and again, babies of color do not reap the benefits, primarily due to lack of access, time, and resources. 

There is so much to be done to bring equity to the space.

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Coco Searcy on Minority Egg Donor Awareness Empowering Diversity with Cofertility.

By Coco Searcy | Image by Stocksy

The narrative surrounding fertility, egg donation, and family planning has been gradually broadening, embracing diverse voices and stories that were previously unheard. This shift is crucial as many navigate the crossroads of parenthood, personal choices, and cultural sensitivities. On the occasion of National Minority Donor Day, we spoke with Coco Searcy, a Member Advocate at Cofertility and an egg donor herself.

Her insights shed light on the nuances of egg donation in minority communities, the challenges they face, and the winds of change gradually setting a more inclusive course. A frontliner in the fertility space, Searcy’s journey intertwines personal experiences and professional commitments, making her insights invaluable for those considering or even curious about egg donation within minority communities.

Can you share your insights on the state of egg donation within minority communities in our country?

I’ve spent my entire career in the fertility space and in just the past five years, there has been a lot of growth in terms of conversations about egg donation, however; there is still a lack of devoted resources within minority communities. While many organizations are making great strides to have more diverse donor options for intended parents and using more inclusive language for donors who are non-binary and trans, there is more work to be done.

For intended parents, the overall experience can feel very antiquated and disappointing. They scroll through clunky online profiles, spreadsheet lists of donors or work with services that overemphasize classist attributes and good looks. There is often little opportunity to understand the donors’ values, backgrounds, and personalities – things intended parents want to know and that donors care about, too. This is especially important for minority families and donors.

I joined Cofertility in 2023 as a Member Advocate and am thrilled to be a part of a company changing the fertility system to create a human-centered approach. Our egg-sharing model disrupts the traditional cash compensation model. This outdated model discourages many women from donating their eggs and contributes to a real lack of ethnic diversity among donors, which leaves intended parents without adequate options for growing a family that reflects their unique background. If you ask them, intended parents often tell you that their search, first and foremost, revolves around finding someone who shares their ethnicity.

What are some of the significant barriers or misconceptions that prevent minority women from becoming egg donors, and how can we work to address them?

There is a tremendous lack of resources and information available to minority individuals who want to become egg donors or just want more information about their fertility overall. A lot of the marketing and information shared about egg donation and even egg freezing are geared towards white women and doesn’t acknowledge or address concerns/issues that minority people face. 

There is also a genuine and understandable distrust of medicine within some minority communities. As a black woman, I understand the level of hesitation and fear when it comes to seeking medical attention due to the lack of acceptable care and information for black people, especially given the history of gynecology. I think it would really go a long way for providers to proactively address these concerns and acknowledge the history of medicine and current practices that have led to this distrust amongst certain minority communities. They should also talk about ways they are addressing these issues and share knowledge and resources to make minority women feel seen and comfortable. 

Lastly, I think there is also a misconception that minority donors are less desirable, which is definitely not the case. There are so many minority-intended parents who need the help of minority donors to build their families 

How does increased diversity in the egg donation pool benefit intended parents, particularly those of minority ethnicities?

Working in the fertility space for a number of years, I’ve seen how the process of finding an egg donor can be longer for some minority-intended parents looking for certain ethnicities. This is truly unfortunate since navigating infertility and family building can be a tumultuous rollercoaster already, and adding this additional barrier can make this process even harder. Some intended parents might feel pressured to just settle for a donor that isn’t within their same ethnic group in order to speed along the process. This was a huge reason I decided to become an egg donor myself. Seeing my patients struggle to find ethnic donors and having learned so much about the egg donation process from my job, it clicked that it was the right path for me to help someone. 

For the traditional cash compensation model, it can also be more expensive and, as a result, cost-prohibitive. For example, a former patient of mine was specifically looking for a donor from a specific ethnic population. Not only did it take her much longer to find a good match, but when she finally found a donor, she unfortunately had the rug pulled out from under her when she learned about the donor’s compensation. Along with the agency fees and medical fees, the donor requested an additional $25k, which she wasn’t in a place to afford. It made the process out of reach for her, and I don’t think that’s fair.

As an egg donor who did benefit from monetary compensation (this was before Cofertility existed!), I understand why it’s available, and it’s helped me in my life, but the lack of regulations on the egg donation market has led to some sketchy practices and creates accessibility issues – not only people with above-average means should have access to using an egg donor.

I love that Cofertility’s model is reshaping what compensation can look like. Instead of a more transactional approach, we freeze half of the eggs for the donor to preserve their fertility. While the intended parents still pay for their treatment cycles, there isn’t this idea of additional compensation based on the donor’s attributes. Many intended parents also love that they are helping that donor preserve their fertility and reach their current goals without the pressure of their biological clock. 

Can you share any success stories or significant developments in egg donation from minority donors that have occurred in the past year?

On a personal level, I’m proud to say I completed two donation cycles! 

At Cofertility, we’re also thrilled by the diversity of our egg donors. Since we launched last year, we’ve activated hundreds of donors who will get to freeze their eggs for free while helping another family grow. They bring more than 55 different ethnicities and 50% identify as women of color. 

How can we better educate and reach out to minority communities about the importance and benefits of egg donation, not just for the donors themselves but also for those seeking to start a family?

I’ve learned so much about the treatments that are available to patients, what egg donation is, what misconceptions there are, and just how many people need egg donors to grow their families. This is information I wouldn’t have even known about if I hadn’t worked at a fertility clinic. The lack of access to information on fertility and reproductive health, as well as egg donation, is a disservice to potential donors and individuals seeking to build their families. It is also really important for agencies, clinics, and providers to make a conscious effort to share information and to ensure this doesn’t only cater to white individuals.

Also, increasing diversity in caregivers and staff who directly and indirectly care for egg donors and intended parents will go a long way. Many of my patients feel more at ease with doctors and healthcare professionals who look like them. Even looking at the marketing images and photos around an office can lead to discomfort for many patients when they can’t see themselves. That goes for patients who are LGBTQIA+, non-binary, and with disabilities. 

I also hope that research continues to be done within the reproductive health space for people within minority communities. I think it’s super important for care providers to address common misconceptions about fertility when it relates to minority communities. One common misconception that I’ve even grown up with is that black women are seen as highly sexualized and thus are hyper-fertile. That’s simply not true and can give the wrong impression that black women don’t need fertility care. In reality, they often have higher infertility rates with less access to information and treatment. If we can provide accurate education on the needs of different communities, we can offer resources for care early on.

What resources are available to support them in their journey?

Unfortunately, there aren’t a ton of resources usually available besides clinic staff or online Facebook groups. One thing that I love that Cofertility is pioneering is a support group for our Freeze members who are undergoing their own egg donation or egg-freezing journey. We want this to feel like a community because no one is really doing this in isolation. Our members are so supportive of each other and really make a huge difference in a process that can be quite emotional.

In addition, we have a lot more resources on our website, cofertility.com/freeze, all backed by our team of experts, that walk you through what to expect.

About the writer

Coco Searcy is a Member Advocate at Cofertility. Over the past 7 years, she has helped patients undergoing fertility treatment reach their goals through compassionate and devoted care. Previously, she worked at two prominent New York City-based fertility clinics, coordinating treatment cycles, educating patients on the various reproductive health options and technologies available, and encouraging them to feel comfortable advocating for themselves. She’s passionate about making her patients feel seen and validated throughout the emotional landscape of fertility. 

After gaining experience handling various IVF cases, her focus shifted to helping patients needing egg donors, sperm donors, and gestational carriers find the right person to embark on their third-party reproductive journeys with them. This led her to join Cofertility, whose human-centered model aligns with her passion for providing compassionate and empathetic care for egg donors and intended parents who rely on them to grow their families. 

Coco graduated from Occidental College with a Bachelor’s Degree in Biochemistry.

Her passion for reproductive health doesn’t stop at her career but continues in her personal life as a two-time egg donor herself. While working in her field, she’s had a first-hand look at the emotional toll infertility has on minority patients, especially those in need of third-party reproductive care, which drove her to become an egg donor.

When not working, Coco is her friendly neighborhood Bob the “Buildette,” crocheting stuffed animals and making delicious brown butter chocolate chip cookies.

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Woman's shadow breastfeedingWoman's shadow breastfeeding

What to Know about Insurance-Covered Lactation Support Because care should be a right, not a luxury.

By Sarah Kellogg Neff, CEO, The Lactation Network | Photo by @_mariatoscano

As CEO of The Lactation Network, I think when people ask me what they should know about insurance-covered lactation support, they assume I’ll launch into a lengthy address about the intricacies of law, capitalism, and the complicated systems that parents must navigate when they decide to grow their families.

Nope.

Federal law mandates that health plans cover lactation care for the duration of the breastfeeding journey.

Pretty simple, right?

Unfortunately, the reality for most families is much more complex. Many don’t know that expert lactation care exists, that it’s supposed to be insurance-covered, or that their health plans don’t have any in-network lactation consultants nearby. Ultimately, insurance-covered lactation support boils down to one simple thing: Access.

Related: Hey New Mamas, Get to Know Your Rights in the Workplace

While breastfeeding is often perceived as natural, it is not always easy, and it is absolutely not free. As long as the falsehood that breastfeeding is free and easy persists, health plans won’t value it as necessary and worthy of coverage. Breastfeeding is a skill that must be learned, and learning to perform a skill well requires time, money, and consultation with experts in the field. Think of breastfeeding like the specialized skills of someone certified in CPR, a scuba diving instructor, or a pilot — the consequences of poor training are just as dire. Lactation care can be the difference between life and death for some families (more on this later).

While breastfeeding is a choice, lactation is a biological reality – and that biological reality requires expert healthcare. 

Here’s where the access piece comes in. 

Many families simply do not have the time, resources, support, or physical ability to breastfeed their babies. Most parents don’t intend to have difficulty breastfeeding their children. By the time they’re ready to deliver, they’ve likely been inundated with messages about the many benefits of breastfeeding but little about how to breastfeed. Many assume the brief lactation consult they might get at their hospital bedside will be enough to carry them through the journey to weaning their child when the time is right.

But parents are often caught off guard by the difficulties they face — in fact, 70% of parents believe we should be talking more about how challenging breastfeeding is. Each day, thousands of families return home with newborns nationwide only to be confronted with unforeseen obstacles like mastitis, low milk supply, latching issues, or postpartum depression and anxiety. For many of these families, the mental anguish that follows becomes unbearable. One in five mothers in the U.S. suffers from mood and anxiety disorders during pregnancy or soon after birth (trigger warning: that piece contains visceral examples of self-harm and suicide). Without accessible, comprehensive lactation care, parents don’t have the option to choose what’s best for themselves or their children at a critical time in their development.

Whether for first-time, fifth-time, adoptive, surrogate, or LGBTQIA+ parents, lactation consultants (IBCLCs) exist for every family breastfeeding scenario. And as IBCLCs are top-credentialed clinical practitioners providing gold-standard healthcare (and are often the first to notice symptoms of and recommend care for postpartum depression and anxiety), their services should be covered by insurance. Full stop. 

What we see instead, though, is health plans doing the bare minimum or nothing at all, even when the Affordable Care Act (ACA) mandates that health plans provide coverage for lactation services throughout the duration of the lactation journey, provide patients with in-network lactation consultants, and cover services when no in-network providers are available.

For now, The Lactation Network is standing in the gap by continuing to build the largest network of lactation consultants (IBCLCs) in the country, advising on critical legislation to expand lactation care certification to military families, and offering breast pumps and educational information to families and allies so they can partner with us to hold health plans accountable for ACA mandates. 

We’ve also launched The Lactation Coverage Gap, an advocacy campaign telling the stories of parents encountering obstacles to lactation care in workplaces and with health plans. In it, we provide families, allies, and employers with the information they need to ensure health plans adequately deliver the lactation care families rightfully deserve. You can sign our petition here, or download email templates to send to your employers so they gain clarity on the care they provide. Your voice is vital to contribute to this fight, but we cannot fight what we don’t name.

If you’re a parent looking for care, connect with The Lactation Network. We’ll do everything we can to connect you to the resources you need. You can also look for in-network lactation consultants in your health plan provider directory, or, if none are available or accessible, see an out-of-network provider and request a superbill (a document that outlines the services you’ve received from your lactation consultant) to seek reimbursement. 

No matter how families choose to feed their babies, they deserve accessible lactation care. We get there by holding health plans accountable for supporting families.

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Victoria Facelli surrounded by baby feeding bottles and pumpsVictoria Facelli surrounded by baby feeding bottles and pumps

Navigating Baby Feeding: Expert Tips & Inclusive Insights with Victoria Facelli Every feed's a journey...

By Victoria Facelli

We sat down with Victoria Facelli, an Internationally Board Certified Lactation consultant and author of Feed the Baby: An Inclusive Guide to Nursing, Bottle-Feeding and Everything in Between to prepare you as you start your feeding journey. A few years ago, Victoria found herself in the same position as many new parents: her babe couldn’t breastfeed. And while she practices as a formula-positive consultant, the mental and physical toll of the situation made her take a long hard look at the culture of feeding. Victoria is an autistic queer Latina mom who still doesn’t see families that look like hers in parenting books and wanted to make sure – through illustration, video, and case studies – that in her book, the full array of perfectly imperfect families was represented.

Have you noticed that when you are in the throes of having a baby, all of the prep is aimed at getting ready for labor, but not so much what comes after? Prenatal yoga, childbirth classes, birthplace tours, packing the perfect hospital bag…but how do you prepare for something as unpredictable and essential as feeding a baby? 

The long and short of it? Prepare for what is in your control and accept what isn’t. Your baby will come with a unique body, temperament, and digestive system. We can’t plan for that. But we can plan out support, information, and some of the anatomy and physiology on your end. 

If you are planning to nurse or pump: 

Take a little medical history of yourself and your chest ,

Take a look at your chest. Has it changed significantly since you became pregnant? If not, talk about it with your provider. Do you have flat or inverted nipples? Are your breasts set wide away from each other with lots of space in the middle? Have you had surgery on your chest or armpits? If you’ve already had babies, take stock of what happened last time, each baby is different but that will give you some clues about if you tend to need a nipple shield, have high supply, low supply, etc. If your last baby had a tongue tie, this one probably will too. No clue what I’m talking about? Check out my book.

Talk to your workplace.

It’s much better to plan your return to work before you start parental leave. Even in 2023, many workplaces don’t know what to provide, like consistent breaks and a room with a lockable door and privacy. No, the glass conference room won’t work. 

Find a lactation professional.

Almost every town has a parent Facebook group full of controversy and rash photos. They are also the absolute best place to get referrals. Ask there for a great lactation consultant or counselor. You can do a prenatal visit or wait until you need them, but having a well-tested name picked out will make asking for help less stressful. 

If you are planning to formula feed:

Learn about formulas.

The FDA standardizes formula very carefully so they are all safe and healthy for babies. Your birthing place will have formula if you need it, but if you don’t want to use what they have and don’t want to worry about switching later, you can bring your own. I recommend a formula where the first ingredient is lactose, and if it’s an option, get the generic brand. Want to learn everything you need to know about formula feeding? It’s on page 77 of the book.

No matter how you feed your baby:

Write these affirmations on sticky notes where you will see them:

You are enough. It’s okay to change the plan.

Victoria Facelli is an Internationally Board Certified Lactation consultant and author of Feed the Baby: An Inclusive Guide to Nursing, Bottle-Feeding and Everything in Between. A few years ago she found herself in the same position of many new parents: her kid wouldn’t breastfeed. And while she practices as a formula positive consultant, the mental and physical toll of the situation made her take a long hard look at the culture of feeding. Victoria is an autistic queer Latina mom and still doesn’t see families that look like hers in parenting books, and wanted to make sure – through illustration, video, and case studies – that the full array of perfectly imperfect families was represented.

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woman breastfeeding covered in sandwoman breastfeeding covered in sand

I Have Blood In My Breast Milk *Don’t freak out*

By Morgan Dixon| Photo by @valeriaharris__

You’ve managed to birth a human, get them home, feed them, and all seems to be going well. Until you notice some pinkish-colored breastmilk–or even more alarming, straight-up blood on your nipples. Pause the freak out! While it might seem concerning to see blood during breastfeeding, it is not uncommon. There are many reasons this could be happening, from something called “Rusty Pipe Syndrome” to an improper latch (the way your baby is attached to your nipple); below, I’ll cover all the basics to help you identify if it’s time to check in with your doctor or just let the issue run its course. 

Related: Should Breastfeeding Hurt?

Improper Latch

One of the most common causes of general discomfort or pain when breastfeeding is improper latch. While we hear the phrase “breastfeeding is the most natural thing in the world” all the time, the truth is breastfeeding is a learned skill and is actually not intuitive to the majority of parents. When latching, the goal is to have your entire areola in your baby’s mouth so that when they can create an airtight seal around your breast, your nipple is towards the back of their pallet (i.e., where your nipple has space). To reiterate, this is the goal. However, it often takes many tries to get it right, so give yourself some grace here. 

If the latch is correct, nursing your baby might feel “interesting” while you get used to all the sucking, and you can develop some raw nipples in the beginning–but the pain shouldn’t continue past a few weeks. If you start to notice blood on your nipples due to lacerations, this is when it’s time to check in with your IBCLC (International Board of Lactation Consultant Examiners) or care provider (please check for an oral restriction!). So many stories include the narrative that breastfeeding should be painful, but that isn’t the case.

Rusty Pipe Syndrome (RSP)

While considered rare, RPS is a breastfeeding condition that can cause a reddish-brown discoloration of breast milk in the early days of breastfeeding. It is harmless and caused by a buildup of leftover blood from vascular engorgement, a fancy way of saying there is some blood leftover in your milk ducts from the changes your body goes through during pregnancy to prepare for breastfeeding. RPS should resolve itself within a few weeks, and there is no need to stop breastfeeding if you are experiencing this. 

Doctor Time

Bleeding while breastfeeding is not an immediate cause for concern. That said, there are some cases to be aware of. Persistent pain or bleeding beyond a few days, intense soreness in your breasts, masses in your breasts, and anything with a fever or flu-like symptom. Sometimes, bleeding coupled with pain can point to a possible infection, like the very rare Serratia Marcescens or, much more commonly, mastitis, which likely needs to be treated with antibiotics. 

When breastfeeding, it’s good to have an overall awareness of your body and what you’re feeling. If something feels off, trust your instincts and call your lactation consultant.

Related: MEET: THE LATCH KIT

Morgan Dixon is Swehl’s Motherboard member & Head of Community. She is a Lactation Specialist and certified nutritionist. Morgan is a mother of two young boys.

Swehl is a one-stop-shop for all things breastfeeding, including game-changing accessories, community talk circles and bite-sized educational videos.

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Nikki's List! Registry Items For Breastfeeding

By Nikki Millman | Photo by Stocksy

In a world filled with endless baby registry options, Nikki Millman stands out as a beacon of wisdom and authenticity. Drawing from her profound journey from the early beginnings of HATCH to her recent transformation into motherhood, Nikki has distilled years of insights into a registry list tailored for the modern mom. With a special focus on the unique needs of breastfeeding mothers, “Nikki’s List” is more than just a collection of items – it’s a testament to understanding the intimate challenges and joys that come with nurturing a new life. Whether you’re a first-time mom or a seasoned parent, dive into this carefully curated list that doesn’t just prioritize the baby, but also ensures that mothers get the care and love they equally deserve. Here, is a curation of all that’s needed on your nursing journey.

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Let MyLee by MyMilk Be Your Breastfeeding Compass Science meets maternal care.

By Babe | Photo by Bri McDaniel

The journey from pregnancy to motherhood can feel like a roller coaster. While your baby bump got all the attention for nine months, postpartum feels like navigating uncharted waters. Especially when it comes to breastfeeding. We’ve been looking for tools to support new mamas who choose to breastfeed, and we’ve found a game-changer. And this one? We discovered it within our own HATCH mama staff fam.

Meet MyLee by MyMilk Labs.

So, what’s the deal?

Founded by two life science PhDs, Ravid and Sharon (also mamas!), MyLee is the product of science, love, and personal experience. When these powerhouse mamas embarked on their own breastfeeding journeys, they felt the void of proper support and decided to do something about it. Their aim? Ensure that no new parent feels alone or out of control in their breastfeeding journey.

How does MyLee work?

With just a few milk drops, MyLee provides insights about your milk supply, differences between your left and right breasts, and even conditions that might lead to inflammation. Think of it as a personalized breastfeeding compass guiding you through these early days. The process is pretty straightforward: Connect the Bluetooth-operated device with your smartphone. Drop a little milk into the sample cells. Scan using the MyLee App (separately for each breast). In seconds, you’ll get insights delivered straight to your app! You can track baby weight gain, diaper counts, sleep, and more. And the best part? You can share this with a lactation consultant for personalized care.

Breast Milk Color: What It Really Means

Why is this so cool?

Breastmilk changes A LOT in the early days, transitioning from colostrum to mature milk in 2-3 weeks. MyLee detects these changes, helping you ensure that you’re establishing a good milk supply in tune with your baby’s needs. And it’s not just about “milk quality.” It’s about helping you reach and maintain an optimal supply. The goal? Hit 100% milk maturation within the first few weeks, and keep it going!

Lactation consultants and mamas swear by it.

Mamas and lactation consultants have proactively managed challenges, balanced milk supply between breasts, and clearly understood their breastfeeding efficiency. Now, you’ve got the science, the support, and the tech, mama. With MyLee by MyMilk Labs, you’re not just breastfeeding; you’re doing it with empowered knowledge.

Mylee by MyMilk

Cheers to feeling confident, supported, and in control. Here’s to every drop and every moment.

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Postpartum Anxiety Personal EssayPostpartum Anxiety Personal Essay

My Hidden Battle with Postpartum Anxiety One woman's story.

By Morgan Dixon | Photo by @mothermusemag

Morgan Dixon is the Head of Community at Swehl, a digital platform that provides streamlined tools, inclusive education, and safe spaces for parents to connect.

It still feels like it was yesterday. I was hysterically crying in the middle of the departures terminal of Newark Airport, suitcase wide open, everyone in the vicinity staring at me. It was the final day of my first trip away from my 16-month-old son, and I was desperate to get on the plane home to L.A. But, my suitcase had a battery pack and needed to be unscrewed before boarding. How on Earth would I get a screwdriver in the middle of an airport terminal?

By this point, the flight had been missed. My poor Uber driver, who dealt with my compulsive demands to take bizarre routes while I was sweating and crying, constantly tried to calm me down, assuring me I could find another flight. After arriving at the airport, the kind woman at the United desk could sense my unsettled energy and booked me on another flight that was leaving soon. I momentarily felt a sense of relief; I’d be able to see my baby tonight. 

I ran as fast as I could to security, exhaling loudly as I waited to get through a line that seemed to have not moved in 20 minutes. I arrived at my gate, went to board, and, almost as in slow motion, the gate agent told me I couldn’t board the plane unless I removed said battery pack. I immediately started to feel hot and dizzy. I started crying and was acting confused. People gathered around, primarily as voyeurs, a few who felt for me and wanted to help. A man and his son flagged down a maintenance worker and tried to find a tool to get the battery pack out (to no avail).

It was 9 P.M., and the shops were all closed, or else I would have purchased a new bag. I would have given someone thousands of dollars if they could have offered me a solution. Eventually, an older woman emptied her tourism gift shop bags and handed them to me so I could shove in my belongings and carry them on. My suitcase was splayed open on the ground, underwear and all exposed. But what was most exposed at that moment to everyone but me were the depths of my postpartum anxiety.

To be frank, before getting pregnant, I hadn’t heard many great things about motherhood. Yes, people loved their babies, but what followed that sentiment always seemed very conflicting, almost as if they were all yearning for the life they had before welcoming the baby and desperate to find the person they were before becoming “mom.” Stories of women hating their partners, lamenting that their bodies were never the same—they were all exhausted. I also wasn’t someone who felt connected to my baby during pregnancy, which left me feeling unsettled, to say the least. All in all, I had no idea what I was in store for, but I did know that I was apprehensive about what life would look like in the near future. 

I went into labor two weeks early, and nine hours later, in the greatest moment of my life, I met my baby boy, Gray. Labor was, dare I say, fun? I only had to push a few times, and I was so into the whole process I reached down and pulled him out on my own. Later, I cut the umbilical cord myself. My son latched on to my breast about 10 minutes after giving birth, and we never had any breastfeeding issues. I was in a constant state of euphoria and finally felt like I’d found my purpose in life. All of these terrifying anecdotes I’d heard? None of them applied to me.

Sleep was something that literally everyone had told me would be hard to come by, but at 12 weeks old, Gray was sleeping from 8 pm-7 am; this baby was an actual dream! I had started a new mom’s group a few weeks earlier, and the woman who ran it mentioned that she was hospitalized for a few days after having her baby, so she had to pump to maintain her supply and for the baby to have bottles while recovering. I remember thinking—in my mind, a very rational thought—that I should start pumping to create a supply in case I was ever hospitalized. So, as my baby slept for eleven-hour chunks of time, I would wake up 3-4 times a night, sometimes more, to pump for 20 minutes. He would breastfeed several times a day, but I’d also pump once or twice, or more, throughout that.

I wasn’t heading back to a full-time job, so pumping this frequently was not necessarily out of necessity. I eventually had to purchase a deep freezer to store all the milk. Thinking about this possible future hospitalization also made me acutely aware of my health and possible mortality. I had a baby to care for now. I was his mother, and he needed me—what would happen if I got sick? Like, really sick?

That’s when I started to Google random symptoms I’d be feeling. From fatigue to a headache to dehydration, I’d find an article that linked almost anything to a terrifying and life-threatening illness. It got to a point where the hypochondria was so bad that even walking into a doctor’s office, I would feel faint out of fear of what they were about to tell me—eventually, feeling faint turned into actually fainting. Out loud, I would justify that it was because ‘I hadn’t eaten enough’ or that ‘I am a fainter, it’s no big deal.’ Objectively, I knew that my actual reasoning sounded crazy, yet I still felt wholly validated and rational in my mind.  

Related: I’m SUPER Anxious About Having Sex for the First Time Postpartum

Next began the obsessive fears that something would happen to my baby. While on walks, I would avoid walking under trees if a branch fell and landed on his stroller. I’d make sure he was out of the kitchen whenever I had to use a knife in case I tripped while holding it, and it flew out of my hands and toward him. I loved this child so much—the world just started to seem like an increasingly scarier place. Around his first birthday, he weaned from breastfeeding, and I stopped being able to sleep. I was wired all night and would lie there obsessing over the fact that I wasn’t sleeping. I feared that it would make me a bad mom because I wouldn’t be able to be as present or energetic as I wanted to be. Exercising always energized me no matter how tired I felt, and I found a specific class that I loved, but the stress of getting back home from the studio was almost debilitating. I remember running out of class, jumping in my car, and frantically driving home to return to my baby. Each time, I found him there, completely content and happy. We had a lovely nanny who adored him and made him feel incredibly loved and secure in my absence. However, I would obsessively loop the same thought over and over for the next several hours: that I was a bad mom for leaving him and that everyone knew it. 

The next several months got progressively worse. My obsessive thoughts started infiltrating my life, and my health fears and safety concerns became crippling. Here is the craziest part: no one would have ever known anything was wrong. I genuinely adored motherhood and adored my baby even more and felt undeniably bonded with him. Despite everything I’ve mentioned, I was simultaneously delighted. No part of me wanted to go back to a life before parenthood. I had lots of mom friends, was very social, and in so many ways, was loving this phase of life. But that’s the thing about postpartum anxiety. It isn’t obvious, and it’s very difficult to recognize symptoms in yourself as they arise. So often, we hear about postpartum depression and the telltale signs of feeling disconnected from your baby and motherhood, like hopelessness, anger, and a general loss of interest. I never felt any of these things; I felt the exact opposite.

I genuinely believed that my behaviors were making me a “better” mom, albeit hyper-vigilant. Pumping a lot? Great for my baby! Taking extra safety precautions? Again, a good thing! Occasionally, I caught an eye roll or underhanded comment from my partner or family about my hypochondria, but no one ever said, “Morgan, I notice that you are starting to have some obsessive thoughts and behaviors. How are you doing with everything?” 

That trip to New York was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Even before the airport fiasco, I was in a full-fledged fight or flight. I didn’t want to go on this trip, but my partner (and society) convinced me it was important to do something like this for myself. From the second we left L.A., I wanted time to speed up. I felt like I was missing a limb. I just wanted to get it all over with so I could say I did it and then return home to my child. I felt utterly disconnected from my body the entire trip. I remember looking in the mirror and not even recognizing myself.  I love New York, having worked there for years, and the city’s energy always recharged me—but not this time. Things were loud and made me anxious. I hated the chaos and just wanted to sit in the hotel room.

When I finally made it home to L.A., I acknowledged that while I had some stressful things happen while trying to get back to L.A., my reaction was not “normal.” I knew I had to get help. A year prior, as a preventative measure, the facilitator of the mom group I had joined shared a list of mental health professionals specializing in postpartum care. Ironically, the place that caused my first obsessive thought cycle was also the resource that provided me with the help I needed. I found an amazing psychiatrist who was warm and caring and a mother herself.  About six minutes into explaining what I had been going through, she shared that my experience was quite common: it was called Postpartum Anxiety, and I specifically was dealing with intrusive thoughts and OCD. She reassured me that I was still a great mother and that there was a way for me to feel better. I still have trouble articulating the relief that washed over me.

Related: Maternal Mental Health Apps Worth Downloading

I was prescribed an SSRI, which helped almost immediately, along with some cognitive behavioral therapy. I was also referred to an acupuncturist to help balance my hormones. Studies have shown that hormones contribute heavily to postpartum mood disorders, which tracks with the timing of my worsening symptoms. Things escalated for the worse as I weaned my son from breastfeeding, which can cause significant hormonal dysregulation, and for me, it had a lot to do with dopamine imbalance (which can specifically cause intrusive thought OCD). Within a few months of treatment, I felt like a different person. The therapy helped immensely with controlling my thoughts, and I stopped taking my medication fairly quickly. I could finally experience motherhood without being a prisoner to my obsessive thoughts.

Postpartum anxiety affects nearly 35% of new moms (although that number is likely much larger) and can present itself much later in the journey, as it did with me. When it comes to postpartum care, most women get the generic questionnaire at their OB/GYN’s office six weeks after giving birth, and beyond that, support quickly dissipates. Despite what we’d like to believe, mothers face judgment every step of the way. As such, they commonly struggle in isolation for far too long before seeking help.

Even as I write this all out, I am nervous about what people will think of me if they find out I struggled. Will they think I was a bad mom? Will they think that I’m complaining and being too self-indulgent? I have a beautiful life and a sound support system. Will they think I’m crazy? I was fortunate to have access to the best resources—imagine the massive population of mothers drowning in their shame without any options.

Through my experience, I learned that two contrasting things can simultaneously be true. I loved motherhood and my child more than I ever could have imagined, and I was struggling. That duality is present throughout motherhood, and we’re often just expected to figure that out ourselves. We’re told to adjust to our new lives, navigate the return to work mere months after giving birth, and manage our health and well-being while maintaining our friendships, being good partners, and keeping a tiny human alive. We are faced with an impossible task, yet society still collectively gasps when presented with statistics detailing that postpartum mental health issues are continuously rising. 

There’s no question that we need to normalize not being okay.

Mothers deserve to be presented with a new narrative supporting openly discussing the duality, expectation, and struggle. Experiencing postpartum depression, anxiety, or even questions over your purpose and identity in no way labels you a bad parent. On the contrary, being brave enough to seek help makes you an even better parent who is already modeling to your child that you prioritize your well-being. In the end, I am grateful for my journey with postpartum anxiety. I became more enlightened about my body, learned how my hormones affect me, and acquired tools and coping mechanisms should I ever have another bout with postpartum anxiety. Equally, my experience led me towards a new career, fueled by a new curiosity about the physiology of new motherhood.

I openly share my story now because I have encountered many women who have felt relief when hearing it. If I can help even one mom feel less alone, then my vulnerability is worth it, scary as it sometimes is. The first step to normalizing this widespread experience is to start sharing our stories in hopes that our generation’s collective power can ensure that future mothers have the support that has been lacking for us.

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Screenshot image of the swehl school appScreenshot image of the swehl school app

Revolutionizing Motherhood with Bite-Sized Wisdom Welcome to Swehl School.

By Ruthie Friedlander

Welcome back to another week of Mom Schwing, where we delve into must-know products and services for our amazing mamas! This week’s spotlight shines on the Swehl School, an innovative platform breaking down the complexities of motherhood with its trove of expert-led videos. Tailored to every stage of your parenting journey – whether you’re expecting, nursing, a supportive partner, or simply curious – Swehl School’s easily digestible, fun, and supportive content is just what the doctor ordered. 

Ever felt the rush of new motherhood, with its steep learning curves around seemingly ‘natural’ processes like breastfeeding? Swehl School bridges that knowledge gap. In true Babe fashion, we’re giving you the unfiltered lowdown on this game-changing initiative. So buckle up as we explore the world of Swehl School – your one-stop shop for all things breastfeeding, from educational resources to physical tools, all in 1-2 minute, bite-sized videos. No paywalls, no hassle – just the real, raw journey of parenting. Stay tuned to uncover how Swehl School is rewriting the rules of maternal education and support.

Okay, so let’s get into it. What is Swehl School? 

Swehl School is a collection of 75+ expert-led videos about pregnancy, breastfeeding, and everything in between. 

Related: What Your Breastfeeding Position Says About You

Swehl School is for the people! We created unique paths depending on your stage in the journey: breastfeeding, pregnant, partners (heyo!), or just curious. The fact is, everybody could use a little more intel on their anatomy.

What made you want to create this?

Elizabeth and I both took prepping for labor seriously, so we were pretty shocked when we realized how hard breastfeeding came to us (isn’t it the most natural thing in the world?!) The truth is breastfeeding is a learned skill with a huge learning curve, including its own language, rules, and more. We wanted to create videos that were easy to digest, fun to watch, and offered true support no matter what your feeding journey looks like.

What makes Swehl School different from other things out there?

Our videos are bite-sized at just 1-2 minutes long (who has the time with a newborn?!), but what we’re most excited about is that they are an accessible resource for those in need. You won’t find a paywall at Swehl, and our core belief is that education should be free.

Swehl School lives within the larger brand of Swehl. Tell us about what else your brand offers.

Some truth: breastfeeding is as emotional and mental as it is physical, and we knew we needed to support all facets of that experience. Swehl is a one-stop shop for all things breastfeeding; in addition to our educational videos, we also created game-changing physical tools (like our Latch Kit). Our community deserves multi-faceted resources, and Swehl provides them under one dare we say “swell” roof.

About Swehl

When Swehl’s founders became new parents at the height of COVID, they immediately saw the chaos, confusion, and alienation of the breastfeeding industry. They looked at the mess of devices on their counters and thought: there has to be a better way. So they set out to remove as much friction as possible from the breastfeeding experience. The result: streamlined tools, inclusive education, and safe spaces for parents to connect with each other.

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