There Are Entirely Too Many Baby Books Our Community Rounds Out The Best.

By Babe | Photo by Miss Enocha

We can’t decide what’s more overwhelming, the Pandora’s Box that a virtual search opens when you naively type in “baby book” on Amazon.com, or hauling your ample ass to an actual brick and mortar bookstore in some mall or shopping center. While some mamas-to-be scoff at parenting books, we’re all in favor of anything that makes you feel more at ease with the task ahead. But before you melt-down in aisle five of Barnes + Noble, we did you a favor + canvassed some mamas on their must-read essentials. The reading part, sadly, is all you.

The Essential Baby Book List

For les French Maman

Bringing Up Bebe by Pamela Druckerman

“It’s very easy to get caught up in trying to do everything right and being alpha parents. It’s nice to know that sometimes less is more.” – Jill W.

For Life After Delivery

The Fifth Trimester and Expecting Better: The Working Mom’s Guide to Style, Sanity, and Big Success After Baby by Lauren Smith Brody

“This book gives real, practical, proven information for living your life during and immediately after pregnancy.” – Laura S.

For That Crazy 4th Trimester

The First 40 Days: The Essential Art of Nourishing The New Mother by Heng Ou

“I found this book to be incredible in learning about traditions and how to treat yourself and your body with kindness. It changed the last few months of my pregnancy.” – Rachel M.

For Nursing Success

The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding by La Leche League

“It’s absolutely essential. Breastfeeding without it would have been impossible for me.” – Julie A.

For Those WTF Moments

Heading Home with Your Newborn: From Birth to Reality by Jennifer Shu and Laura Jana

“It had a lot of practical information about what to expect in those early days.” – Lauren S.

For the Mind-Body Mama Connection

Nurture: A Modern Guide to Pregnancy, Birth, Early Motherhood and Trusting Yourself and Your Body by Erica Chidi Cohen

“It’s straight-forward, non-judgemental and just enough information without feeling overwhelming.” – Rachel K.

For the "OK Now What?"

Baby 411: Clear Answers & Smart Advice for Your Baby’s First Year by Dr. Ari Brown and Denise Fields

“It’s a user’s manual for a new baby.” – Rebecca B.

*All photos by Amazon.com

Artipoppe

The Carrier That’ll Change Your Life And it's actually cute.

By Pamela Nieuw | Photo by Gali Lin

As a city mom, I love my Artipoppe carrier. It’s so easy to put on, even with one hand, and it’s super comfortable and cute, too. My daughter loves sleeping in it, being in it, and just sitting around in it. It’s also great for feeding her super discreetly while she’s in there. I’ll loosen the straps and she’ll latch on, and no one even knows it’s happening. It’s great for naps, walking around, and getting stuff done without the burden of pushing a stroller around.

Hacks

You'll Never Use a Knife Again How did you not think of this?

“Cut up food…with scissors! We have nice fancy ‘kitchen’ scissors, but I’m not even sure they’re necessary. I started cutting the ‘adult’ fruits and veggies with scissors too and no one notices.

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Or if someone does, they’re always like ‘why didn’t I think of this sooner?’

– Helena N., mother of two.

Mom Crush

Fitness Mama Rachel Nicks Talks Miscarriage + Raising Boys And, prioritizing self-care.

By Ruthie Friedlander

Dynamic, spirited, and as authentic as they come, this actress, fitness guru, and doula gives it to us straight.

Pregnant with her second child, after healing from a miscarriage, we caught up with this real-deal mama in LA to chat letting go of mom-guilt, and advocating for others.

Current state of mind?

Physically, strong and healthy. Emotionally, however, I’ve been all over the place between the hormones and healing from a miscarriage.

Difference between pregnancies?

When I was pregnant with Samuel, I was starring in a play, teaching fewer fitness classes, and working out less. Whereas with this baby, acting has been on hold with COVID, and I’ve been focused on teaching for MIRROR, plus chasing after a two-year-old all day. Moving more has really made a difference; I’ve gained less weight and have not been constipated.

What was your miscarriage experience?

November 16th 2019, life was booming. Newly pregnant with our second, I booked my first pilot, and MIRROR was opening in LA, everything was coming together. The night after Samuel’s 2nd birthday party, I flew to LA for the launch party of MIRROR. When we landed, I received a call that the pilot was canceled. Devastated by this news, I headed to Century City mall for some retail therapy. While I was there, I went to the bathroom, turned around to flush, and saw blood. With my pants at my knees, I called my midwife sobbing that it was all my fault because I had lifted luggage and was stressed with work. She told me to stop blaming myself, because there was nothing I could do to change the outcome. Afterward, I called every doctor in LA for an appointment. Shockingly no office could see me for two days even though I was actively miscarrying! In The meantime, I called my girlfriend, who’s had several miscarriages and she told me not to use a tampon, pads only!

That night, I went to MIRROR party. Distracted and worried, the night was a blur, full of influencers and selfies. I still couldn’t believe that I’d lost my pilot and my baby in a matter of hours.

On Wednesday, I went to UCLA for the ultrasound, and the doctor confirmed I’d lost the baby. I called my husband crying before heading back to the hotel to hole up in the dark and wallow in my sadness. After an hour of that, I snapped out of it and decided I wasn’t going to feel sorry for myself. Instead, I drove to my fave restaurant, ordered some rose, and tried to process all that had happened.

How did you begin the healing process?

The night I got home from the launch event, I posted a pre-party picture from my bathroom. Despite everything, my curls were popping, and I looked good. Working from the outside in, I gave myself a pep talk and posted the picture for work. When I started to receive comments like, “you look more beautiful than ever,” my heart broke; I was saddened by the fallacy of it all. That night, I had to post an image as part of my work agreement. I wasn’t trying to poster or appear as if my life is flawless in any way. It made me sad to think that someone could see my post and assume everything was perfect in my world when in reality I was having a miscarriage. The next day, I posted a follow-up photo with a caption about how things are not always as they seem on Instagram. I didn’t give specifics but cautioned not to compare our lives to these little squares because there’s more to every story.

The first seven days after my miscarriage was the hardest; I was an emotional wreck. My hormones were all over the place, I was depressed and my hair was falling out in clumps. Slowly but surely, I began to pull myself together and got back to life as a mom, actor, and fitness instructor. Then, unexpectedly on New Year’s Eve, we got pregnant again!

Pregnancy after a miscarriage?

Finding out you’re pregnant after such a traumatic loss is emotionally conflicting. I didn’t know whether to be happy or scared. With my first, we tried to get pregnant, but my second and third pregnancies happened by chance. I was nervous as I couldn’t figure out how I was going to manage filming the pilot in Mexico, working with MIRROR, and a new baby. I felt that if people knew I was having another baby, I’d miss out on work opportunities, so I hid the pregnancy for professional reasons.

When I got pregnant with this one, I hid it again, but for different reasons. I felt I had burdened everyone with my miscarriage, so to protect myself (in case I miscarried again), I kept this pregnancy under wraps. I was emotionally disconnected from the entire experience and didn’t go public with the news until 20 weeks.

Being pregnant through Corona?

During the early months of quarantine we temporarily moved out west and I had to change doctors twice from NYC to Oakland to LA. It was challenging to cope with all of the uncertainty, not to mention living with my parents for the first three and a half months. Once we settled into our own place in LA, and I confirmed the midwives at UCLA, my stress level dropped. Serendipitously, UCLA is where I miscarried; it’s healing to know that I’m going to have my little boy there. I had a fantastic experience with midwives in NYC at Central Park Midwifery and Lindsey Bliss, a doula from Carriage House, and am hoping for a similar experience with this baby.

How do you incorporate your son into your daily routine?

I’ve invited him into my life, not the other way around. He’s learning to cook, take the trash out, pick up after himself, and get his snacks. Doing things for himself cultivates independence and confidence. And selfishly, this way, I’m not catering to his every whim.

Backyard golfing in
The Wrap Around Jumper

Life as a working mom?

Being a mom is important to me, but it’s only a part of who I am, not all of who I am. I’ve never had guilt for working and thrive when all of my pieces are in play. Flexing my creative muscle makes me a better version of myself. When Samuel was a baby, he came to Princeton and Chicago, for plays and back to NYC with me for my Off-Broadway performance. I nursed him backstage and gave him pumped bottles, we made it work.

Those early days of becoming a mom taught me to let go of all my preconceived notions. We live in a world where everyone is curating perfect Instagram lives. Even if we rationally know it’s fake, we subconsciously compare ourselves to these false standards, and it’s total BS. For example, I thought to be a good mom, I had to make all of Samuel’s baby food from scratch. When I couldn’t do that because of work and travel, I was down on myself unnecessarily! I’ve learned to be gentle and flexible through the parenting process.

How did you get into fitness and the birth space?

Years ago, I watched the business of being born and became passionate about the birth space. When I got into fitness, women came to me with questions after they had their babies, and I didn’t have the tools to help them during this super vulnerable time in their lives. This led me to become a doula so I could better show up for my community.

Over time pre and postnatal fitness became my niche. Moms said that I was paying attention to them in ways no other instructor ever had. Now with MIRROR, I’m filming four to five times a week from home and motivating an entire community of moms. In fact I get daily DMs from women around the country saying that moving their body with my classes via MIRROR has saved them mentally during this time. Recently this inspired me to start a page @mirror_mamas to encourage women to move their bodies for as little as 15 minutes a day. Doing this affects everything from the inside out.

How are you raising your boys these days?

I’m outspoken about everything because it’s all connected from sizism to racism and economic inequality. Calling out bullshit and having the hard talks will allow us all to live more authentically. The race conversation can be overwhelming but life and motherhood can be too, so we might as well make the changes and get on with it. We have to speak up for what’s right and create solutions together.

Be honest with your kids and incorporate them in the conversation from race to COVID. As a society, we often don’t include our children in the tough talks but they’re more capable of understanding than we give them credit for. As a mother of Black boys, I will teach my sons to advocate for all people, Black or not. If your kids see someone being mistreated, teach them to stand up.

How do you take time for yourself?

Recently I watched Michelle Obama’s Becoming and there’s a scene where she describes resenting Obama for going to the gym when she was at home with the kids. Then, it dawned on her that it wasn’t his fault that she didn’t go to the gym, it was hers. If he could do it, so could she. So, she organized childcare and started working out again. Don’t blame others for what you’re not doing. Instead, speak up, and get on with it because the truth is, taking care of yourself is essential. It’s not about looking good for a man, it’s about feeling good for yourself. I learned this from my mom. She always said, taking care of herself was not for my dad but rather was for herself. Having a kid is no excuse to start looking like a hot mess. If you feel good, you will show up in the world as your best self. It’s that simple.

Any advice?

Go easy on yourself. We all have an idea about what motherhood should be or what we want it to be, and then life happens, and things change. Maybe you want to breastfeed, but you have to go to work and need to use formula. Or, perhaps you’re a single mom with a nanny and that wasn’t part of your original plan. Instead of attacking yourself, be flexible and let go of the fear and expectations. Also share your story with other women so we can work together to normalize the many paths of motherhood.

“We’re more than one thing; being a mom is part of who I am, but not all of who I am.”

mom crush

Bump Porn

Glam Girls Who dares look this chic while pregnant? These ladies.

By BABE | Photo by @jennycipoletti

There are two types of pregnant women. Those who can be nine months along and still look like they walked out of the latest issue of Vogue… and the rest of us. As we’re more apt to sit around in our sweatpants using our bump as a snack tray rather than throw on a pair of heels, looking at these hot preggo ladies rocking their stuff is actually kind of inspiring.

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Maybe we will put a comb through our hair at some point today and grab a cute lil’ clutch — ya know, instead of a diaper bag.

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Imagine being this put together. IMAGINE.
Photo by Claire Craig

*looks down at Crocs in shame*
Photo by Lindsay Ellingson

Denise is a goddess and we are mere mortals. Facts.
Photo by Denise Vasi

Would appreciate the invite to the tea party next time, guys!
Photo by Alice Kerley

Simply put: chic chic chic.
Photo by Ténin Diavara

Love the bag but the bump will always be our favorite accessory.
Photo by Vivian Kwan

End Of Summer Sale

All Our Summer Faves Are On Sale No, like, for real.

This Summer, while undoubtedly different from season’s past, is still filled with local beach excursions, backyard hangs, and low-key warm-weather activities. Therefore, it’s time to stock up on colorful, summery, wear-now pieces because a) you’re pregnant AF, and b) those quarantine sweats will no longer do. Cue the End Of Summer Sale; consider this your sun-ready guide to getting dressed these days.

Collaborations

Meet The Women Of Nordstrom, Banding together to contribute to the magic of the workplace

In celebration of our newly launched collaboration with PopIn@Nordstrom, we’re thrilled to invite a fresh crop of passionate, powerhouse mamas and mamas-to-be into our community. While the concept itself may not be novel, women are banding together in ever-more creative and compelling ways to contribute to the magic of the workplace.

Therefore, we recently spent a day at The Riveter in Seattle with the ever-inspiring female-centric Nordstrom Creative Projects Team—some pregnant and some not—getting their take on what is meaningful change. Plus, we chatted with the brilliant Olivia Kim, who heads up the team as VP of Creative Projects at Nordstrom, talking about womanhood, pregnancy style, life after baby, and the realities of being a working mom, here.

Olivia Kim:VP of Creative Projects at Nordstrom

Mom to Cleo, originally from NYC with Opening Ceremony before venturing to Seattle

On leading a female-focused team?

We’re not an all-female team, about 80% or so…there’s a few guys ;). I’m never looking for any specific type of person, only that they are a good culture or personality fit, regardless of background or resume. Ultimately I care about vibe.

What do you do?

I’m VP of Creative Projects at Nordstrom, which is such a corporate title! In short, I try to bring coolness and relevancy to our retail and online experience — which can mean anything. We work on projects with brands like HATCH or theme-based projects that run the gamut. Having a boss and a company that truly embraces that is extremely liberating.

Best Advice…?

My director just left on MAT leave, my buyer just got back from MAT leave, my assistant is two days away from having a baby and my other buyer is three months away from having a baby, so I am surrounded by pregnant and post-pregancy mamas. When asked, my advice to all these women is, 1) don’t listen to the advice that people give you. Do it your own way, because everybody has an opinion. And, 2) Don’t put so much pressure on yourself post-pregnancy. You’re not who you were prior to having this baby or poor to be pregnant. Give yourself some slack and let yourself live in these moments of vulnerability, insecurity, and fear. Your not who you were.

Meghan Smith: Creative Projects Assistant Buyer for Pop-In@Nordstrom

Before calling Seattle home, Meghan grew up in Kent Island, Maryland

Style & vice?

Feminine and comfortable with an edge. I like wearing clothes that are no fuss. Lots of easy dresses, sneakers, & sweaters. Basically, I don’t like to spend a lot of time picking out my outfit for the day. I live for reality television- it’s true! I just can’t help myself. Oh, and watermelon & grape LaffyTaffy.

Being part of strong female-led team…?

Empowering. All the women I work with inspire me daily. We also love to collaborate and work with other female led business and brands which creates this really cool network of women.

No matter how busy you…?

This might sound cliché but taking a moment to sit back and admire my surroundings and my life. Soak it all in. I feel very lucky where I am right now, so I really try to take time to appreciate everything- even if it is just for a few minutes.

Best advice?

Never stop trying and always be true to yourself.

Lindsey Sherwood: Executive Assistant

Pregnant with her first and a Cali girl from Sacramento

Style & vice?

Comfortable, simple, and very laid back, with flip flops! Plus, I live for the Gooey Butter Bars from Dahlia Bakery, (but I recommend that you call ahead because they are always running out!) They’re a pregnant woman’s DREAM! Other than that, Taco Bell or ice cream. Okay, anything food related!

Being part of strong female-led team…?

It’s refreshing to be part of a community where we lift each other up and support each other! Being able to support someone like Olivia is so inspiring. She’s shattered boundaries and has created a world where I feel like I can strive to be not just the assistant, but maybe the boss one day.

Barriers for working mamas?

Yes, 100%. I’m not a “working mom”quite yet but I see the struggle first-hand women face while trying to balance everything. From juggling motherhood, to conquering workall within a day — there are not nearly enough hours.

Natalie Siderius: Associate Creative Director of Creative Projects

Born and raised in Snohomish, WA before landing in Seattle

Style & Vice?

Generally utilitarian, understated, with a focus on silhouettes over color. And don’t be surprised if you find me with a Diet Coke in hand!

Contributing to a positive workplace for women on the daily…?

The ethos of toxic competition is over. I love collaborating and learning from women who bring unique perspectives to their work. Plus, I like that women’s roles in family units and professional positions are becoming less narrowly defined. I’m proud to work with a wide variety of women, many of whom are the breadwinners in their families. There is more nuance and individuality in defining what it means to “have it all”. I think there are still opportunities to support women in the workplace – for example, I’d personally love to see true gender equality achieved in parental leave policies. Providing benefits for our partners, regardless of gender or role, ultimately supports us and our families.

Find time to every day for?

My skincare regimen. It’s a nonnegotiable.

Best advice?

Position yourself where you’re always challenged and always learning. You can reinvent yourself at any time.

Melissa Figel: Senior Marketing Manager of Creative Projects, New Concepts & Designer

Raised in Woodinville, WA (a suburb outside of Seattle) before heading to the big city

Being part of strong female-led team…?

It’s funny, sometimes I forget that working with a team of women isn’t the norm in every industry. I’ve been fortunate in my career, both at Nordstrom and at the ad agency I was at previously (Copacino+Fujikado), to be surrounded by strong women as my bosses, mentors, peers, friends and team – made even stronger by the men that respect and support them. I get to watch women be successful in their roles while mastering skills that are traditionally viewed as masculine traits (like seeing women be assertive, decisive, analytical, strong negotiators, etc.), all with the balance of great emotional intelligence, creativity & humility.

Barriers for working mamas?

While I am not a mom myself, I work incredibly closely with many parents and have the utmost respect for working moms (and dads). I have seen the challenges they face firsthand – from scheduling meetings around a pumping schedule and day care pick-up times, to working from home with sick kids and getting back online to work after bedtime…. The list goes on.

This said, culturally I think there are incremental shifts happening in the workplace to help alleviate some of these barriers, like an increased focus on extended parental leaves. While this shift makes a big difference, I think we need drastic cultural & policy changes to make a real transition – like universal preschool, standardized (and paid) parental leave regardless of company size, etc. (I’m guessing I’m preaching to the choir here!)

Best advice you’ve received…?

When I’m stressed out about something, my mom will jokingly ask me if that worry is “going to be on the final”, which is a good reminder to not waste too much time, energy and brain space on the little things that won’t make a big impact in the end. I think this can be applied to both life & work – and a good mantra to help reset my focus and remind me to re-prioritize the big things that will move a project, goal or focus forward.

Melia Goodwin, Director of Creative Projects

Mama to one, plus born & raised in Seattle, WA

Being part of strong female-led team…?

This team is everything to me. I’m feel so fortunate to work with so many strong women who support me achieving success at work and as a mother. Most meetings start with some sort of mom talk where we share stories and advice and then we quickly move into the work stuff. I love this about our team. Even though we are incredible busy with all our projects, we still find time to enjoy what’s going on at home too.

Barriers for working mamas?

The barriers are coming down, but we still have a long way to go to make it easier for working moms to juggle both. It’s still really hard.

Your not-so-secret vice?

Shopping

Find time for every day?

My morning routine is super quick, 20 minutes max but I never skip my morning shower.

Diana Drewes: Buyer, Creative Projects

Brand new mom of one (!) and hailing from Durham, NC

Pregnancy style?

My pre-pregnancy uniform consisted of oversized crew neck sweaters and vintage Levi’s. Then, I switched to jumpsuits and onesies once I outgrew even my biggest jeans — my Hatch Georgie jumpsuit is a lifesaver and has taken me through to the very end of my pregnancy!

Part of a strong female-led team?

Inspiring, fast-paced, and fun.

Barriers for working mamas?

The perception of motherhood and the workplace may be changing, but the key to turning this perception into real tangible improvements for women is empathy. I didn’t realize that until seeing some of my very closest friends make the adjustment from new-mom to working-new-mom and seeing how hard it really is to manage a work-life balance without feeling like something is being sacrificed. I’m fortunate to work at a company that offers excellent leave options for new moms (and dads!) but that just scrapes the surface of what is required to feel supported during such a fundamental life change. The women on my team are all advocates for flexibility in the workplace; flexibility is an issue that disproportionately impacts moms and caregivers. There are incremental improvements being made all the time, but the road ahead is long and will require people to think about new ways to support those who require extra flexibility at work, whether it’s flex hours, work from home options, or something totally different such as job-sharing.

Your not-so-secret vice?

Soup Dumplings from the Taiwanese restaurant Din Tai Fung, earrings from Susan Alexandra, and insisting on driving a car with a tape cassette player.

Find time for every day for?

These days, brush my teeth twice a day and not much else! (I’m currently responding to these questions with an 11-day old baby napping on top of me.)

Sanda Belaire: Divisional Retail Merchandiser

Mom of two, Born in Burma (Myanmar) but grew up in the LA sun

Your style?

Funny, I always joke its pre-maternity because I love a floaty dress with pockets. My favorite outfits are a mix of vintage, Comme des Garcon, Nike sneakers and rock & roll.

Part of a strong female-led team?

We multi task like crazy! Our team will roll their sleeves up and pitch in with any tasks- no matter how small or how large, we do whatever is needed to get the job done. As women who are also, mamas, sisters, partners and pet mamas, juggling tasks comes naturally. We’re also one of the most diverse and inclusive teams at Nordstrom which brings great energy and respect for different cultures.

Barriers for working mamas?

Being a working mom of 2 now grown kids, the biggest barrier is self-imposed working mom guilt. The best gift you can give your kids is being happy, present and fulfilled whether in your career or being a stay at home mom.

Your not-so-secret vice?

Vintage and thrift shopping . Sunday Flea Markets are my happy place. I also have a chocolate addiction.

Find time for every day for?

Read. I start the day by reading what’s happening in the world and end it with a good murder mystery or Instagram.

Julie Ly: Senior Manager of Public Relations

Originally from Maine, but recently moved west to Seattle from NYC (after 15 years!)

Contributing to a positive workplace for women on the daily?

Mentorship has been a huge priority to me in recent years because I have been so fortunate to receive both career and personal guidance from wonderful bosses and colleagues in the past. If I can continue to teach my team something new every day, then I feel like I’ve made an important contribution.

Barriers for working mamas?

I have not yet crossed that bridge personally, but I know that balancing motherhood and a career is no small feat and I give a tremendous amount of credit to women who manage to do both. Time is a huge barrier, there are just not enough hours in the day to do it all.

I do think the work place is changing and becoming more flexible. We have the technology to do our jobs from virtually anywhere and it’s becoming more normal to work remotely or adjust our traditional office hours. I think a lot of companies have made progress, but there is still a long way to go. I believe that women truly need a lot more time off after giving birth and they should be able to take that time for themselves without feeling fear, guilt or financial burden for being away from work.

Your not-so-secret vice?

Late night online shopping, in bed. I often forget what I buy or that I’ve even bought something until the box arrives. (Does it count as a surprise if you buy it for yourself?)

Best advice?

Be NICE. Treat the janitor with the same respect as you would treat the CEO. Also, it’s okay to be tough sometimes, but always be fair.

Shop The Ladies Of Nordstrom Looks

The Debate

There’s the Nanny and There’s the Daycare Two moms weigh in on their choice.

By Babe | Illustration by Ana Hard

In our series The Debate, our community of real moms tackle the pros and cons around common parenting choices. The truth is, like so many decisions around child rearing, there is no right or wrong answer. At HATCH, our job is to give voice to both sides of any debate, peppering real mom wisdom with the necessary facts so that you can make the best decision for you and your family.

For many women – once their nipples have healed, they’ve stopped spotting and have successfully moved on to toilet paper verses a squirt bottle – the caregiving decision is the next uphill battle in their newfound role of mother. These days most of us don’t have the luxury of choosing whether to go back to work (and tbh, we kinda love kicking ass at work) and we’re no longer living in villages surrounded by close family who can tend to our children while we’re out there running sh*t. So the question comes into play of who exactly will care for our kids during the workweek, and in what capacity.

The caregiver choice commonly breaks down into “nanny,” who will come to you, or a daycare, where you will bring babe there. The decision over which to choose isn’t an easy one and often there’s no right answer, as much of it depends on income, living situation, who else is at home and of course, personal preference. One thing’s for sure though. Whatever you choose, having another person care for your child will, in no way, impact their love for you.

“It’s amazing to have people in a child’s life who they can turn to,” says Dr. Aliza Pressman, pediatric expert, co-founder of seedlings group and host of the “Raising Good Humans” podcast. “People who are trustworthy and loving, whether they’re a caregiver in your home or at school, can add tremendous value to your child’s life and their capacity to love.”

We hear from two women in our incredible community, one who opted for a nanny and one who chose daycare, on why their choice worked for them.

“The loving presence we’ve had in our lives has truly been a blessing.”
**Photo by iStock**

Nanny FTW….

Kathleen Reynolds
Vice president of client services
Gene, 7
Clare, 4

“I was very lucky because I was in a situation where I got three-and-a-half months of maternity leave. My husband is a trainer and a coach at a gym, so I knew he’d be able to have a flexible schedule. Before we arranged my maternity leave, we figured out how one of us could always be home four days a week. We got on a few waitlists for daycares in our neighborhood and then started looking for a nanny just to be safe. I found that good nannies are like real estate, the best ones aren’t available for months and months on end. It was also going to be more complicated for us because we were looking for a part-time nanny. So we looked into everything.

I began posting my nanny search on Upper East Side Mommas and suddenly it was like the nanny bat signal. All of these recommendations started pouring in. I probably interviewed about three to five women in total. One person seemed lovely, but she was prosthelytizing a lot, talking about her religion. It just seemed out of place within the context of what we were interviewing her for. One woman seemed really stern….I mean we had a four-month-old baby. I’m sure they’re all fantastic people. One woman was a younger Irish student who we loved who was here for graduate school, but she was going back home sooner than later.

The nanny I ended up hiring is fortunately the nanny I still have. She was open to part-time because she was in business with someone in her family and she wasn’t needing full-time employment. She’s worked with other families before, she’s a grandmother and she had that grandmother feel when she walked in. It was a generally easy decision that we felt great about.

I think the best part about having a nanny is that in our case, that continuity and loving presence we’ve had in our lives has truly been a blessing. We don’t have family in New York City and she’s been a wonderful, loving, bonus grandmother to our kids. She’s totally different – we’re Irish Catholic, she’s from Trinidad – so she’s giving them a different sense of traditions. She loves them and there’s no boundary there. Also, as a working mom, especially as someone who travels once in a while, I have to stay late or get on an early flight. She comes early. She’s very flexible and willing to help us in that regard. With daycare, maybe there are some policies that could help with this, but what if I need my kids covered at 6:00am? I think having something more set in stone would be difficult at least in the early years.

The only downside to the nanny relationship is that we had to find backup care when she had a health issue, which lasted about six to eight weeks, and then she wasn’t able to pick up our son for a while. But that type of thing can happen whenever you’re dependent on one person for something. So if you’re going to pursue a nanny, you should think about back up care – someone you can call in the event they can’t come in, where conversely, when there is a system like daycare – there’s more built around it. As amazing as a nanny is, they’re only one person.”

“I felt more comfortable with our child being out in the world.”
**Photo by iStock**

All Daycare All the Time….

Ally Rido
Lawyer
Edie, 18 months

“My husband and I both have demanding full time jobs that are pretty typically 9am to 5pm (or later), five day a week. When I got pregnant and we started to picture the kind of childcare that would work for us, it revolved around the idea of having a nanny. We figured that someone who could be in our home, maybe helping out in other areas beyond childcare, like getting dinner going on a night we’re running late, or a bit of light housekeeping, would be really nice. That was always our plan.

When our daughter Edie was about six weeks old, we started interviewing nannies. I personally found the entire experience extremely awkward. We would talk about their experience, I would ask about their views on discipline, nap schedules, feeding, playing. I’d watch these women play with Edie to get a sense of their general demeanor and attitude. Yet somehow, when push came to shove, the whole thing made me feel really uncomfortable. There are very subtle nuances that go into having someone in your space all the time. Plus, what if I wanted to work from home one day? Would we all be holed up in my small, two-bedroom apartment? Personally, I couldn’t think of anything more uncomfortable. Plus, I’m the kind of person where if I’m home working and my baby is crying, I’d just as soon run into her room rather than wait for someone else to do it.

Maybe it was a sense of guilt and privilege I was feeling in having someone else care for my daughter, but we started looking into daycare options. With daycare, you don’t get that in-home experience with meal prep, or laundry, but I think I felt more comfortable with our child being out in the world than holed up at home. Plus, in determining the salary of a nanny, I still had to shell out money for classes like music and tumbling or whatever socialization, whereas with a daycare she’d be in a class with other children and doing all of these wonderful, enriching activities. Daycares don’t call in sick, nor do they have to leave early to take their own kids to the doctor. They’re never late. It really revolves around your schedule entirely. And, while daycares can’t sleep over if my husband and I go on a weekend trip to Miami, we do have relatives we can rely on for those kinds of trips we just plan it out far enough.

In the end we opted for a daycare in our neighborhood that our daughter can stay at until kindergarten. It’s happy and peaceful and clean and she’s happy to go every morning. She’s made little friends who live in our neighborhood and we can totally see the benefit from having socialized her at such a young age. When I’m working late, I can pick her up on the later side, and when I get an afternoon off, I can go grab her then. There really is tons of flexibility and I like the idea that she’s out of our home and with other kids – even if we’re stuck with the laundry.”

Fast Facts

According to the 2019 Census, there are 535,622 childcare workers in the U.S.

The industry revenue of childcare services in the US topped $45 billion in 2020.

By 2021, there will be an estimated 856,238 daycare operators within the United States.

Employment of all childcare workers is projected to grow 14% through 2022, the Bureau of Labor Statistics reports.

According to Care.com, 63% of respondents who use daycare are somewhat or very uncomfortable returning their children to daycare as states reopen, and more than one-third (35%) of those are now considering in-home care instead.

In 2019, a nanny made an average of $565 per week, up 20% from $472 in 2013.

Children

When Should you Have your Second Babe? Two moms tackle spacing.

By Babe | Illustration by Ana Hard

The question of how to space kids is a biggie. We all have visions of our kids being BFF’s and built-in playmates. Meanwhile, how nice would it be if our older child was potty trained by the time our second came along – or, better yet – could even help change a diaper or two? Alas, mamas. We can’t have it all, and of course when biology comes into play it’s anyone’s guess how your dream spacing schedule will go. Some moms choose to knock them kids out, while others need a minute to breathe and collect in-between. Of course, it’s totally personal to each and every family and depends on so many factors (after all, kids ain’t cheap). Here, two moms share their stories – one who had three girls in two-and-a-half years, and another who waited eight years before trying for her second. Read on…..

Bust ‘Em Out.

Monique Sparacio
Stay-At-Home Mom
Gabriella, 9
Jacqueline, 8
Alexandra, 6.5

“My husband is the youngest of 12 so we knew we wanted kids and we wanted to start sooner than later. I got married at 35 so we figured we’d try and whatever happened happened. I was pregnant within four months. I gained tons of weight, lost it all, and when my first was three months old, I got pregnant again. My reason was because I was older, I figured maybe it would take longer or maybe it wouldn’t happen as easily. I also thought that if I waited too long, I wouldn’t want more kids after getting my freedom back. Who wants to start all over? For me it made sense to go through it all at once.

My third daughter was born 22 months after my second, and I found that the 15 month age gap between one and two was so much easier of a transition than the 22 month gap between two and three. My first two grew up together. They didn’t know life without each other. When I had my third, they were almost two and almost three, and they knew how to have all of my attention. It was more difficult to transition because there was more jealousy.

“For me, I got it all out in one shot.”
**Photo by Trina Cary**

Now, all three of them don’t know life without the other one. It’s great. For me it was definitely the right decision. I had family members and friends who suggested I wait until preschool, but none of them ended up having more kids because they got their life back. Their kid goes to school and it’s like, wait a minute! I forgot what it’s like to be free! For me, I got it all out in one shot. They’re now all in school. Hopefully they’ll grow up close. And when I’m old and gray, they can take care of me and divvy up the responsibility!

Don’t get me wrong. There are days I want to cry. It’s exhausting. Three little kids need help with everything. Sometimes you can’t give everyone what they need at the same time, but it’s good for them too. They have to learn to wait, that you’re not always first and that’s life. It’s easier for them, too. They understand socially what it is, like waiting and taking turns and not getting instant gratification. There are a lot of positives. Now they’re each other playmates. They’re each other’s friends. They don’t fight a lot but when they do, it’s bad. They’re either loving or killing each other. I try to pin them all against me. I say, “You can be BFF’s and be mad at me. I’m the bad guy. You guys get along.” I’m big on having them work things out themselves. They have to figure it out on their own.”

Why our Community Had Kids Back-to-Back

“They have a built-in playmate.”

“Same activities. Same social schedule. Same friends.”

“I only had to lose my pregnancy weight once.”

“We don’t have to split up our time to cater to each one’s developmental needs.”

Let’s Give it a Sec.

Kristen LaValle
Interior Designer
Quinn, 9
Birdie, 1.5

“I don’t know if I have this nice, neat reasoning why we chose to wait. I can’t say it was always planned that way from the beginning. It was kind of like this swirl of so many different reasons. My husband and I met in college and grew up in Maine, but we were ski bums so we moved to Lake Tahoe in our 20’s. I had my now 9-year-old at age 29. I found other mom friends out there through breastfeeding classes and baby classes. We had a great little group out there. I had found myself. I’ve always heard horror stories about colicky babies who don’t sleep, but Quinn was a good baby. Still, I felt that she took all my attention. I gave her everything I had to give all the time. I could not imagine having “two under two” or multiples at that point. There’s a pressure there, like if you’re going to have kids, do it.

I knew I wanted another child at some point. I have a sister and she’s my best friend. But I was not ready. We decided to see what happened. So what happened is that Lake Tahoe is financially a hard place to make a solid living. It’s really expensive. So five years ago we came back to Maine. We’re near both of our families, so we figured that maybe now’s a good time. But every age with Quinn was more fun. I kept wanting to give it more time and then all the sudden it was, “Whoah I’m 37.” Then it became a conscious spreading out of the experience, where we decided to be in the moment and enjoy every age. But I did want a sibling experience. So it was a confluence of the financial, societal, biological coming together. I wanted to get settled in Maine and then we started. Now Birdie is 1.5 and Quinn is 9.

“I just knew I wasn’t the kind of person who could thrive with a two-year-old and baby.”
**Photo by Christy Dawn Baskauskas**

The split is going awesome, which is so funny. I remember the newborn baby thing terrified me with my first. Looking back with Quinn, I felt really young. I was 29 and I was a completely different person. I had a lot of postpartum anxiety. I was overwhelmed all the time. This time, it was a breeze. I was so emotional about how she’s growing up and she’s my last baby. She’s also an angel. I can appreciate it so much more. I don’t freak out about everything. I have so many more tools now than I did then. Right now it’s dreamy, because the silver lining in quarantine is that they totally bonded right when Birdie started walking and talking. She’s obsessed with Quinn and Quinn is so protective of her. I’m so glad they had each other during quarantine.

I’m sensitive though because Birdie needs our eyes on her every moment and Quinn doesn’t. She gets on her bike and disappears. They are in different worlds. I have to be conscious of jealousy, but the spread is so different that Quinn is understanding and really helpful, but I also anticipate that we’ll be catering our family adventure outings to Birdie and that will be frustrating. It will also be hard for Birdie when Quinn leaves the house when she gets older. I see these things down the road and it feels bittersweet already. But there are pros and cons no matter what age your kids are. I just knew I wasn’t the kind of person who could thrive with a two-year-old and baby.

Why our Community Chose to Wait

“We have a babysitter we don’t have to pay.”

“I was able to give each child everything I had in those early years.”

“I only had to change one set of diapers at a time.”

“I basically got to have two only children at a time, but with the benefit of siblings.”

Play Me

The Epidural Just Kicked In So hit play and chill.

By Babe | Illustration by Ana Hard

Game-on, there’s no turning back now. Crank up the tunes and find your flow.

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Baby’s coming!

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The Essential Baby Book List

For les French Maman

For Life After Delivery

For That Crazy 4th Trimester

For Nursing Success

For Those WTF Moments

For the Mind-Body Mama Connection

For the "OK Now What?"

*All photos by Amazon.com

Current state of mind?

Difference between pregnancies?

What was your miscarriage experience?

How did you begin the healing process?

Pregnancy after a miscarriage?

Being pregnant through Corona?

How do you incorporate your son into your daily routine?

Life as a working mom?

How did you get into fitness and the birth space?

How are you raising your boys these days?

How do you take time for yourself?

Any advice?

Olivia Kim:VP of Creative Projects at Nordstrom

On leading a female-focused team?

What do you do?

Best Advice…?

Meghan Smith: Creative Projects Assistant Buyer for Pop-In@Nordstrom

Style & vice?

Being part of strong female-led team…?

No matter how busy you…?

Best advice?

Lindsey Sherwood: Executive Assistant

Style & vice?

Being part of strong female-led team…?

Barriers for working mamas?

Natalie Siderius: Associate Creative Director of Creative Projects

Style & Vice?

Contributing to a positive workplace for women on the daily…?

Find time to every day for?

Best advice?

Melissa Figel: Senior Marketing Manager of Creative Projects, New Concepts & Designer

Being part of strong female-led team…?

Barriers for working mamas?

Best advice you’ve received…?

Melia Goodwin, Director of Creative Projects

Being part of strong female-led team…?

Barriers for working mamas?

Your not-so-secret vice?

Find time for every day?

Diana Drewes: Buyer, Creative Projects

Pregnancy style?

Part of a strong female-led team?

Barriers for working mamas?

Your not-so-secret vice?

Find time for every day for?

Sanda Belaire: Divisional Retail Merchandiser

Your style?

Part of a strong female-led team?

Barriers for working mamas?

Your not-so-secret vice?

Find time for every day for?

Julie Ly: Senior Manager of Public Relations

Contributing to a positive workplace for women on the daily?

Barriers for working mamas?

Your not-so-secret vice?

Best advice?

Shop The Ladies Of Nordstrom Looks

Nanny FTW….

All Daycare All the Time….

Fast Facts

According to the 2019 Census, there are 535,622 childcare workers in the U.S.

The industry revenue of childcare services in the US topped $45 billion in 2020.

By 2021, there will be an estimated 856,238 daycare operators within the United States.

Employment of all childcare workers is projected to grow 14% through 2022, the Bureau of Labor Statistics reports.

According to Care.com, 63% of respondents who use daycare are somewhat or very uncomfortable returning their children to daycare as states reopen, and more than one-third (35%) of those are now considering in-home care instead.

In 2019, a nanny made an average of $565 per week, up 20% from $472 in 2013.

Bust ‘Em Out.

Let’s Give it a Sec.

Thank You!

We’ve Got You