Seema Bansal Chadha The Venus ET Fleur co-founder is going with the flow.

By Babe | Photos by Ashley Barrett

When she’s not creating luxe floral arrangements for the fashion set (her blooms last a full year!), the Venus ET Fleur co-founder is busy growing the brand she founded with husband, Sunny and planning for the birth of her son in just a few weeks.

We sat down with Seema to chat maternity leave plans, her chic-yet-comfortable preggo style and how going with the flow is the mantra she lives by.

How are you feeling?

Up until this last month of pregnancy I was feeling really great. Now that I’m in my 37th week it is getting more challenging and uncomfortable. Nevertheless, I am super excited to meet my baby and for him to join the world.

How has your pregnancy been going so far?

It’s been such a surreal experience, from the random cravings to feeling him do somersaults in my belly. Obviously, like any pregnancy, it hasn’t been the most glamorous but it’s definitely been a life-changing journey in all of the best ways.

Do you know what you’re having? (if not, do you think you know what you’re having?)

Yes! We are having a boy. Soon our little Windsor will be earth-side, and we cannot wait!

**Above and at right: Seema in the** **Ivy Eyelet Midi Dress**.

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Can you share your path to pregnancy?

At the beginning taking this path was a bit of a surprise, but a very happy surprise nonetheless. Fortunately, the path has been very smooth. Sunny and I have always planned to start a family but didn’t plan to start at the time that we found out, so when we found out we were pregnant, we were overjoyed.

Can you share the self-care rituals and/or lifestyle habits that have helped you during your pregnancy?

Self-care has always been a daily practice of mine but now that I’ve been pregnant I’ve been indulging in self-care more frequently. One of my practices is exercise. I’ve continued to do low intensity workouts like reformer pilates throughout my journey and I really feel it’s helped me stay in sync with my body as it changes. Other self-care practices I’ve been doing a lot more frequently are meditating, taking relaxing baths, going for outdoor walks and slowing down to spend quality time with family. I am really just doing more of the things that make me feel fulfilled. I think it’s so important to take extra time to care for yourself because ultimately when you create an environment that you feel good in you’re doing the same for your baby.

It’s definitely been a life-changing journey in all of the best ways.

What’s something that’s totally surprised you about being pregnant?

I think what’s been really eye opening is that everyone has their own journey, and that no two pregnancies are the same. It’s a really humbling experience. You have to go with the flow and do what’s best for you and your baby! I also have learned so much useful information about pregnancy overall and I am so grateful to all the providers that have made my pregnancy so smooth.

**Above and right: Seema in the Short Ricky Slip Dress.**

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Can you describe your diet and whether you’ve had any cravings or aversions? How have you been eating?

My diet has been pretty regimented. I have always been a reasonably clean eater, but now I am extra mindful of what I am putting into my body. On the same note I have allowed myself to give into pregnancy cravings like Andes mint chocolates, banana bread, matcha sweets, and the best of all: Nobu chicken and waffles.

Let’s talk style. What have you been wearing or gravitating to? Pieces you’ve been obsessed with?

My pregnancy style has been pretty chic yet comfortable. Overall, I’ve been really embracing my bump by wearing tight fitted clothing. I like a good balance of elevated athleisure and dresses with heels. I’ve always loved to dress up, so experimenting with fashion during this journey has been really fun. I would have to say my daily go-to clothes have been biker shorts and unitards. I’ve been OBSESSED with The Body Rib Unitard Short from Hatch.

Tell us about Venus ET Fleur! What’s it like working with your partner?

Venus ET Fleur is a luxury gifting company that Sunny and I started six months into dating. VEF was born due to an underwhelming floral experience. Sunny had sent me flowers for Valentine’s Day and they were wilted and nothing like the photo.This disenchanting experience led us on a mission to further elevate the luxury floral industry by creating arrangements using our special real roses that last a year.

Working with Sunny is amazing. We definitely have our moments, but we work really well together and I couldn’t imagine it any other way.

**Above: Seema in the Ricky Slip Dress. At right: Seema in the Body Rib Unitard Short and Denim Maternity Shirt.**

What are your maternity leave plans? How do you plan on managing your business with a newborn?

I would be lying if I said I was planning to take a ton of time off. I will definitely take time off to recover and bond with my baby, but I’d love to get back to work and work out as soon as my Dr. and body allows. While I am so incredibly lucky to have an amazing team to rely on while I’m gone, it’s still hard to be removed when you’re a co-founder.

What’s one piece of advice you’d like to share to women on the beginning of their pregnancy journey?

I would say the one piece of advice is to really cherish the process. My relationship with my body and appreciation for it has changed so much during this journey. It’s truly magical. Oh! Also invest in plenty of belly oil and cream and apply generously. They will be your best friends when it comes to avoiding stretch marks and itchiness as you grow.

What are your hopes for your child?

I have so many hopes for Windsor, but the biggest one is to simply raise him to be a strong person with a good heart and even better energy. We hope to raise him in a way that results in him doing great things and having an amazing impact on the world.

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Registry

Stock Your Airbnb this Summer with these Baby-Friendly Travel Items Curated by DWTS mama, Lindsay Arnold.

By Babe | Photo by The Baby's Brew

From her full-time role on Dancing With The Stars to her on-demand fitness program, The Movement Club (not to mention life with husband and daughter Sage), Lindsay Arnold shares her motherhood journey for her legions of fans. When they’re not being all cute at home, they’re on-the-go, traveling to far-flung destinations with essentials that keep both mom and baby all good.

Here Lindsay outlines the must-have items for traveling with your little one. Because sometimes a good stroller and the right temperature of milk can make or break a trip.

**Doona Stroller (for babies up to toddler age):** “Whenever we traveled with Sage this was our stroller of choice. This should be on every mom’s baby registry.”

**Nuna Travel Pack n’ Play**: “We love this pack n play because it’s compact and so easy to set up. You can fold it up with one hand and pack it in your suitcase.”

**Hatch Sound Machine:** “We always travel with a sound machine. It’s one of the things that makes Sage feel like she’s sleeping in her room at home. You never know what the noise level will be like at the hotel or Airbnb.”

**Peg Perego Selfie Stroller**: “We recently got this for our trip to Mexico since Sage has outgrown the Doona and we’re obsessed. It’s so slim, doesn’t take up a lot of space and really lightweight.”

**On the go Snack cup**: “Whether we were on the plane, in the car or at the beach, Sage always needs her snacks and this snack cup is perfect because it prevents any big messes or spills.”

**Formula dispenser for bottles:** “I like to travel with a formula dispenser as well so it’s easy to make her bottles at night.”

**Bottle warmer:** “Most of the time hotel rooms don’t have microwaves so you have to make sure you have something to warm your bottles! I love this one. It’s batter powered and works like a charm.”

**Baby carrier:** “This is Sage’s favorite carrier. We always have this on hand, especially if we don’t have access to our stroller.”

**Travel size baby wash shampoo and lotion:** “Honest has some of our favorite baby products. I love their travel kits. I buy a few at a time so I can throw them in my suitcase for our trips.”

ChiccoDUO baby bottle: “You need something durable and easy to transport to/from beach (or wherever you are vacationing).”

MORI Pajamas or Sleep Sack: “To keep the little one cozy during travel.”

BabyQuip Rentable Gear: “They deliver your favorite brand of stroller, pack-n-play, cribs and more right to your vacation homes’ door.”

registry

Fashion

Fun in the Sun Looks Because Memorial Weekend!!!!

By Babe | Photos courtesy of HATCH

With Memorial Weekend kicking off (yee-haw!), it’s time to summer-fy (yeah we made that up) your maternity wardrobe. Think flowy, romantic dresses, bump-friendly swimsuits, super cute rompers, and separates that go from the farmer’s market to your bestie’s BBQ. Styles that will keep you cool, comfy and confident all summer long. Soak it up….

The perfect day-to-evening maternity dress in an understated tonal floral with a smocked bodice, super romantic short blouson sleeves with elastic at the top and bottom (so you can wear it on or off your shoulder), and…drumroll…POCKETS.

An easy maternity romper in a breathable and lightweight double gauze with just the right amount of forgiving grow-with-you stretch that drapes perfectly.

A retro-inspired short-sleeve top with an easy access button-down front (all the better to nurse in). Polished enough to wear to work but also dresses down real easy for weekend errands.

Meet our Cut Off Maternity Shorts: with just the right amount of distressing for that had-forever feel and a stacked hem (shorter in the front and longer in the back) for extra coverage.

Cut from a soft, double gauze fabric in spring-y hues, a lighter-than-air dress for breezing in and out all summer long with a pretty tie you can wear at the front or back.

A short dress for long days in a lightweight cotton viscose with amazing drape and movement and the prettiest flutter sleeves. Suggested use: date nights, getting dressed in no time flat, pairing with everything from sneakers to sandals to heels.

In a softer than soft, ultra-luxe linen blend made for summer, a perfectly slouchy, cocoon-y top that goes with everything (including your bump).

A pair of summery maternity shorts in soft double gauze with a smocked waistband and ruffle detail that you can take to the beach, on errands, and backyard hangs. Talk about versatile.

A one-piece in a recycled nylon blend with a deep ruffled scoop neckline, adjustable + convertible straps that can criss-cross or tie as a halter, plus a shelf bra and gathering at the side seams to help make room for your growing belly.

Our most supportive maternity bikini style designed to expand with you and back again. With self-tie adjustable straps (read: nursing-friendly), high waist bottoms that roll down for over or under-bump styling, and side seam ruching for extra shape, this is the one you’ll keep reaching for.

A quick-drying, easy-wearing, ruffled one-piece with a solid support system (read: shelf bra with elastic tape and boning) plus shirring at the sides so it’ll grow with you all nine months long. Bonus: the straps are removable (aka two looks in one).

fashion

We Got You

The Science Behind Nourishing Your Baby’s Brain Development Because, um, can someone like, explain this?

Here’s a stat to get you going: 80% of the brain is developed by the age of three years old. And once you form those cells, you can’t get a “do-over” – you have those cells for the rest of your life.s. So the little one pooping their pants in the next room? Brain. Growing. Now.

So how can you support this insanely rapid growth and development? Infants and toddlers need more nutrients proportional to their body mass than during any other developmental stage of life, which is why we’re glad brands like Cerebelly exist.

Cerebelly was literally developed by a brain surgeon (!) and offers organic baby food jam-packed with nutrients specifically catered to how your babe’s brain and body are growing. Cerebelly is the only children’s food brand that offers science-backed, organic veggie-first baby foods delivering 16 key nutrients to nourish developing regions of a child’s brain. No other baby food comes close. So naturally, when we had questions about the nutrient-brain connection, we went straight to the source.

First off, does it really take a brain surgeon to develop an infant food option?

Dr. Teresa Purzner had spent her life studying the brain as a practicing neurosurgeon, and while working on her PhD at Stanford in neurobiology, her mission became to understand the factors that go into optimal brain development. And becoming a mama at the same time forced her to contextualize her work in a new way.

Knowing what she knew about the brain’s development, Dr. Purzner knew there were critical key nutrients for each upcoming milestone, and as a mom, she needed the convenience of premade food. After many trips down the baby food aisle, she could not find one brand that met even the most basic quality and nutrient requirements needed for optimal development.

So with the help of her brother Nick Langan, they decided to create a product that was so superior to baby food standards, they had to completely redefine them. After years of development with scientists, doctors, and nutritionists, Cerebelly was born— a first-of-its-kind food brand that satisfies parents, kids, and growing brains alike.

“What you’re feeding your child isn’t just a tasty treat, it’s years of trailblazing well beyond industry norms to provide the 16 key brain-supporting nutrients needed for early development, “ Dr. Purzner explains. “Meticulously sourced, organic vegetable-first recipes with no added sugar, that undergo rigorous testing for heavy metals and harmful toxins every step of the way.”

What – in laymen’s terms – is the exact connection between nutrients and the brain and growth?

According to Dr. Purzner, each brain region, as it grows, has specific nutritional requirements. “There are actually dozens of brain regions and in the early years, they are not growing uniformly. We know from MRI brain scan research that the various regions and processes of the brain grow and peak at different times.” She goes on to explain that providing the right mix of nutrients to help each of these different regions during the first three years of life helps to ensure your babe is getting the best of the best. “A nutrient-dense diet is important for brain growth and function but there are 16 essential nutrients that play a particularly important role during early development.”

Sixteen?! Is there a nutrient that stands out as the most important nutrient to focus on in infancy?

“When it comes to a child’s developing brain there isn’t a single nutrient that is most important,” explains Jackie Bertoldo, MPH, RDN, assistant director of nutrition & food choice architecture at Stanford University, and Co-developer of Cerebelly. “Nutrients in a child’s diet work synergistically to support different areas of the brain at key times when they are rapidly developing. Nourishing an infant’s growing brain is about delivering the right mix of nutrients at the right time.

What are the main things you can do to set an infant up for optimal brain development?

Providing a strong nutritional foundation coupled with nurturing care and age-appropriate mental and physical stimulation is essential for promoting optimal brain development at every age. It’s also important to minimize a child’s exposure to toxins in their environment – like heavy metals – which are detrimental to the brain. (Fun fact: Cerebelly is the first shelf-stable baby food to receive the Clean Label Project Purity Award which independently tests their foods for over 400 different contaminants including heavy metals, chemicals, plastics, pesticides, and other toxins.)

A question for a preggo mamas. Are there specific nutrients during pregnancy mamas can focus on that can support the baby’s brain?

“The fetal brain begins developing early in the first trimester of pregnancy,” Dr. Bertoldo explains. “A mother’s nutritional status can have a significant impact on the development of her baby, which is why it’s essential for pregnant women to take prenatal vitamins which are formulated with many of the nutrients that are important for a baby’s development. However, there are some key nutrients – like choline, lutein, and DHA – that are important for brain development and may not be found in prenatal vitamins. Consuming foods rich in these nutrients during pregnancy can help fill that nutrient gap.”

This article was written in partnership with Cerebelly.

Want to try the brain-boosting power of Cerebelly? Get up to 30% off your first order with code HATCH at checkout. New customers only.

We Got You

Hacks

When Traveling, Bring Spare. Clothes. For. Everyone. Once more for the cheap seats in the back.

“If you’re going home on a plane you’ll likely pack extra clothes for your baby but don’t forget clothing for EVERYONE, including yourself in case of a major diaper blowout or vomiting explosion. Pack them in a XL ziplock bag so you can put the soiled clothes in there.

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”

– Joelle C., mama of three

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What You Can Do During the Formula Crisis How to get it and how to help those who need it.

By Babe | Photo courtesy of Bobbie

As the formula shortage continues to grip the United States, millions of parents are struggling to access the very products they rely on to feed their babies.

As of May 1, 43% of baby formula was out of stock at retailers, according to Datasembly, a product data firm. One mother, speaking to the New York Times, described the situation as “a nightmare.”

The crisis is hitting poorer families disproportionately hard. According to The Guardian, nearly half of baby formula in the US is bought under the Wic program, which helps low-income women, infants and children. Abbott provides formula to about half of the babies receiving Wic benefits. When these products disappeared, families were left scrambling to find alternatives.

There are racial disparities, also. Rates of breastfeeding are lower for Black babies than white babies, according to a 2019 report from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Black women are more likely to live at or below the poverty level and more likely to return to work sooner, the report states.

As the FDA struggles to reopen formula factories, as we await President Biden’s plans to ship formula in from overseas and for Congress to meet to explore the crisis, our community is taking action. Join us in and learn what you can do to try to end the shortage and how to get formula if you need it:

Join the HATCH Formula Drive: We are partnering with two amazing organizations, Baby2Baby and Welcome Baby, to donate any leftover or spare cans of formula that are unopened and unexpired to moms in need. HATCH, alongside our friends Lalo and Union Square Play, have opened our stores to drop-off locations in NYC and Los Angeles. Click on the link for more information!

Join Bobbie’s Hungry for Change Campaign: Call 1-805-2-LISTEN and leave us a message of what you want to say to Congress. Bobbie will use your collective words to send them a letter ahead of the hearing.

Find a Milk Bank: Head to www.hmbana.org to locate the HMBANA milk bank nearest you and milk bank staff will guide you through the screening process.

United Way’s 2-1-1: Dial 2-1-1 to connect to a community resource specialist with United Way who possible help identify food pantries and other sources of local infant formula.

Community Action Agency: Located your nearest CAA to provide you with formula or connect you with local agencies that have formula in stock.

Women, Infants, and Children: Contact your nearest WIC office to obtain information on how to procure formula.

Abbott’s Urgent Request Line: As your OBGYN or pediatrician to submit an urgent product request by downloading and completing the form.

Community

What's it Like Raising a Child on the Autism Spectrum? For Claire Khodara, it's unexpectedly beautiful.

By Claire Khodara | Photo by Marilou Daube

What is it like raising a child on the autism spectrum? Unexpectedly beautiful.

Life is a path of self discovery– at least that’s what mine has been so far. Having children opened my eyes and heart to a world I didn’t know existed, a world of endless opportunities for self growth. Motherhood isn’t easy, but it’s worth it.

I have been told that all kids kick their parents’ ass in time and I guess I got mine kicked earlier than expected. Six months into being pregnant with my second child, I was told by a pediatrician that my firstborn, who was then 2-years-old, had autism and my second would likely as well. My whole world froze and my heart sank deeper than I ever knew it could. The isolation and depression was like nothing I had ever felt. I had no one to turn to. I didn’t know anyone who had autism, much less a parent who had advocated for their autistic child.

All ideas, visions, and expectations of what I thought Winston’s life would be were instantly shattered. Winston’s diagnosis and the uncovering of who he is as a person has been the most important learning experience of my life. Winston is now five and is one of the most earnest, beautiful, brilliant, subtle and direct people I know. I wouldn’t change him if I had the power to. Winston might not be like everyone else, but I have come to realize that’s the point of life.

I didn’t know anyone who had autism, much less a parent who had advocated for their autistic child.

Everyday he teaches me to be present to my life as it unfolds. Winston’s actions gently remind me that tomorrow doesn’t exist, yesterday is gone and to always act according to my heart. Despite his many differences, there are endless gifts. After all, humanity can’t push forward if we are all the same.

In addition to Winston, I am mother to Constantin (2) and Olympia (1). I am a singer and use song to communicate throughout the day and to wind down during bedtime. Music is my language and in our home, music knows no end. My children are all exposed to different genres: pop, jazz, classical, lullabies, hymns, chants, and more. I have seen incredible transformation in Winston through the music therapy we do at home and outside of the home with other musicians. Music stimulates him like nothing else. We sing lullabies every night before turning in, the one time of day where he feels complete peace. (In fairness, this is the one time of day where we all feel complete peace!)

Lullabies bring me back to a place of safety, protection, and love, where I can go each night with my children. That’s why I created a lullaby album titled Modern Lullaby for parents and children to enjoy music together. The album includes covers from my favorite musicians, and an original track entitled “There You Are,” which I wrote for Winston at birth. Winston also has a singing debut on the album, and his voice takes my breath away.

Modern Lullaby will be released on June 3. Proceeds will go to Easterseals, a nonprofit organization providing services for people on the autism spectrum and special needs at large.

community

The Nines

Katya Suh's 9 Ways to Take the Stress Out of Bedtime From sleep sacks to sound machines.

By Katya Suh | photo courtesy of Katya Suh

From finding the right clothing to creating a proper routine, this quadruple-threat mama, real estate agent, philanthropist and broadcast journalist breaks down the whole sleep thing. Because when baby sleeps, so do we.

Set Boundaries

Parenthood comes with a million adjustments and then some, so setting clear boundaries with yourself helps provide structure with your schedule. For us, this means no co-sleeping. While some find this a great solution, it often means changing our schedule on a daily basis to put the twins to bed, adding unnecessary stresses to our day.

Understand Where You Value Your Time

I know that once my boys go down at night, I have about 12 hours until they’re fully up again (with some wake-ups here and there). Personally, my evenings are my time. And though I know this means I’ll be getting up earlier the next morning, understanding where I value my time has helped reduce stress at bedtime.

Clothing Matters

If you have children under one, like me, then what your baby wears is just as important as anything else when it comes to taking the stress out of bedtime. If your baby is too hot or too cold, bedtime may as well be a nightmare. We’ve found that the varieties of sleep sacks give the boys the swaddled sensation , and have found this to be an amazing way to help them fall asleep and stay asleep.

Promote Self-Soothing

Self-soothing is one of the best things to encourage at bedtime, and is so easy to support through comfort items like blankets, stuffed animals, and pacifiers. When you can help your baby put themselves to sleep, you’ve already conquered half the battle.

Noise (!!)

Don’t be afraid of noise! Getting your baby used to noise as they fall asleep can be a game changer. Not only does this completely transform bedtime, but can also help with getting them down for naptime. In fact, noise can be a useful tool. We love the Baby Shusher and the Hatch Sound Machine to help the boys fall asleep, stay asleep, and enjoy their sleep.

Play with Light

Test this one out. We opted not to use nightlights on a regular basis so that our boys know to distinguish nighttime from daytime. But we have found it useful to leave their door cracked a bit to allow them to be a little bit familiar with it in case one of the boys wakes up or we have to go into their room during the night.

Bring Familiarity to Unfamiliar Situations

Whether you’re heading to a friend’s house, having a night out, or taking a much-needed vacation, getting your child to sleep in an unfamiliar place can make for one of the most stressful bedtimes at the moment you least need it. This can be a blanket, sweater, or even their normal sheets, but trust me, your child can tell the difference. Anything that signals the familiarity of bedtime can be make or break.

Build a Routine

We all know it. We all say it. But we all know that routine is one of the first things to go when you have a baby. Building a routine helps set clear boundaries and expectations for your child at bedtime. Even if you can’t follow it to a tee every night, creating a routine for your child will take so much stress out of bedtime.

Have Patience

Building a better bedtime routine is a long game. Give yourself grace when things don’t go according to plan, but take the time to listen to what your child needs under the circumstances. When we moved during the off-season, adjusting to the time change and new environment meant switching up naptime, adding more or less depending on their mood, paying closer attention to light control, or even pushing bedtime. It’s not always easy, but it pays off!

The Nines

WTF

Where Did All the Formula Go? How you can help during this nationwide crisis.

By Babe | Illustration by Ana Hard

At Babe we believe that fed is best – whether you breast or formula feed. But what happens when you can’t do either?

In another “WTF is going on in this world” moment, new mothers all over the country are scrambling due to a beyond scary shortage of infant formula. They’re hitting up Walgreens, CVS and online shops like crazy in the hopes they can secure just one more can or box. Even our friends at Bobbie have temporarily stopped taking new customers.

The conspiracy theorist in us can’t help but wonder whether this is yet another move by the far right to hold us down. But, according to the New York Times, the shortage began with a recall of a defective brand after at least four babies were hospitalized with bacterial infection and two babies died. But the recall has worsened thanks to supply-chain issues and labor shortages.

The F.D.A. is leading the federal response and said officials were working with Abbott Nutrition, the company involved in the recall, to restart production at its plant in Sturgis, Mich. The agency is also meeting regularly with infant formula manufacturers to increase production capacity and urging retailers to consider placing sales limits on infant formula products.

“We recognize that many consumers have been unable to access infant formula and critical medical foods they are accustomed to using and are frustrated by their inability to do so,” the F.D.A. commissioner, Dr. Robert M. Califf, said in a statement. “We are doing everything in our power to ensure there is adequate product available where and when they need it.”

Online, private sellers are gouging prices and marketing cans for double or triple their price (LAME), and many large retailers are sold out. Meanwhile Abbott Nutrition said it was doing everything it could, including increasing production at its other U.S. plants and shipping products from its facility in Ireland.

Obviously this issue affects moms in so many ways. For those who cannot nurse, it’s literally a matter of life and death. Other women rely on formula so that they can work, tend to their other children or care for ailing parents. Moms and babies need formula to survive.

As we sit and wait for production to ramp up, consider donating unused breast milk to the following donation banks:

The New York Milk Bank

Human Milk Banking

Mother’s Milk Bank Northeast

Mother’s Milk Bank

Breastfeed LA

La Leche League

The Nines

Raquel Kelley's 9 Ways to Maintain Mental Health as a 2nd (or 3rd) Time Mom The writer and podcast host breaks it down.

By Raquel Kelley | Photo by @_mariatoscano

Everyone prepares you for baby. You take the classes, read all the books, buy all the non-toxic, organic, eco-friendly products and gear. I did my research (or so I thought) but was not prepared for everything that was going to happen to ME after baby.

Now currently cooking my third child, I’m also birthing my first book called Where’d I Go? It is a lift-the-flap board book written not for babies, but for moms based on the identity crisis I had after having my first two. I wanted to create a fun and approachable book that makes these hard topics easier to talk about.

If there is anything I learned along the way, it’s that our mental health as mothers is just as important as the health of our babies. Here are some things I will be doing differently the third time around:

1. Talk it Out

Therapy shouldn’t be reserved for times of crisis. I suffered postpartum depression after my second child and therapy is what helped me overcome it. I just wish I hadn’t waited until things got so bad.

This time around, I’ll have appointments pre-scheduled so I can talk through everything starting week one. Find what format you are comfortable with whether it be text, Zoom, or in-person and get those check-ups booked, not only for baby, but more importantly for you.

2. Quiet is Key

Amidst those early weeks and months there is lots of noise: a crying baby, the sound of the breast pump (late, sleepless nights I swear I thought it was talking to me!), as well as our own inner monologue.

Meditation was a tool that helped me through postpartum depression. Whether it’s 5-minutes listening to some Reiki music on YouTube or using a guided app like Mindful Mamas, with all of that going on, it’s very important to get quiet in order to cut through all of that crosstalk.

3. Beware of the Boobs

I thought breastfeeding would be easier the second time around. Nope. Wishful thinking. Luckily, my doula served as my lactation consultant who diagnosed the lip and tongue tie. The surgery is what helped these poor bleeding and cracked nips.

Whether you decide to breastfeed or not, having a lactation consultant on speed dial is so crucial at the beginning, because making sure baby is feeding properly and getting enough nutrients is half the battle!

4. Find Your Tribe

Making mom friends is kind of like dating all over again. It’s a little awkward and you’re unsure of whether to make the first move. Joining a mom group after having my first newborn was the best decision I made. We all weren’t sure what the hell we were doing, but we were winging it together, which is what mattered most.

Even with number three, I can barely remember what those early months were like. (I blocked them out, which is how I was able to have more.) I will be joining another mommy & me class again, because there is no comparison to being in the thick of it together.

5. Your Original Tribe May Change

Lots of things change after labor: your body, your emotions, even your friendships. I can remember calling up my best friends who had kids prior to me and saying, “I’m so sorry! I didn’t know you were going through this!” It’s hard to understand the full depths of motherhood until you are in it yourself.

It’s easy to feel some resentment toward friends who get to go about their lives making last minute weekend plans that don’t revolve around naptime or booking a nanny. Try not to take your frustration out on them. Know that friendships may change as you change as a mother, but change doesn’t have to be bad, just know it will be different.

6. Rest & Recover

There is no award given to the first one out of yoga pants and out at their old stomping grounds. Your body has undergone a major trauma and needs time to recuperate.

The first time around I pushed myself too hard, too soon. I tried to be a superstar and brunch with girlfriends like nothing had just happened to my body. It ended up backfiring and causing issues with the stitches. After my second, I learned my lesson and stayed in bed for about two weeks and took it slow. The recovery after that one ended up being much faster. Note to self, slow and steady wins the race!

7. Help Wanted

Go ahead and hang this sign on your front door. It’s okay to ask for help and it’s okay to need support. The whole, “It takes a village,” saying wasn’t created for nothing.

I lived across the country from my family with my first two children, so I had to rely on others when I needed a break. People aren’t mind readers, so in order to get help, you shouldn’t be ashamed to ask for it.

8. Lower Your Expectations for Yourself

Your only goal after giving birth is to keep a human alive. I felt I needed to be everything to everyone the first time around – the best mom, wife, and career woman. But as I rocked Depends and waddled around until week 6, I felt like I was failing everyone. My own unrealistic standards led to my own unnecessary guilt.

Set your bar so low that just functioning each day seems high!

9. Lower Your Expectations for Everyone Else

Lastly, be sure to also lower your standards for everyone around you. While your world may have been rocked whether it’s your first baby or your fourth, others are still living their own busy lives.

Sure, we’d love everyone to drop everything and help us out, but we can’t expect them to. The more we lower our expectations of ourselves and others, the less chance we are to be let down. So, when you do receive that baked lasagna or unexpected drop-in visit, it’s even more the lovely!

The Nines

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