I'm Jealous That My Husband Calls My Daughter His Favorite Am I losing it?

By Babe

Welcome back to Babe’s newest advice column, featuring guidance from perinatal mental health and relationship expert Lauren Tetenbaum (AKA The CounseLaur). The information herein does not and is not intended to constitute mental health, medical, or legal advice. Please contact your healthcare provider if you have specific needs, the Maternal Mental Health Hotline for on-demand support, or 911 for emergency assistance. Want to submit a question? Email editorial@hatchcollection.com.

Q: I’m jealous that my husband calls my daughter “his favorite girl.” Am I a psychopath?

A: I love this question because so many of us have had it and too few of us are comfortable voicing it. Thank you for being forthcoming about your feelings!

In general, no, I don’t think you’re crazy. It’s not wrong to be envious when you hear your husband use a term of endearment typically reserved for you on someone else, even if it is your own flesh and blood (and perhaps your own favorite girl). I work with many women who are certain they want to be moms but are uncertain of how a new baby might impact their partnership or household. It’s natural to feel ambivalent about how a new person, no matter how tiny they are, can create big changes in family dynamics.

That said, if you’ve been feeling jealous for a while and it isn’t dissipating, or if your feelings lead to resentment towards your child or husband, you may want to explore what that means. Talk to your spouse about how you’re feeling and why. Hopefully, your partner is empathetic and able to lovingly laugh with you – and willing to do what you need to help you feel better (it’s fine if you prefer he use a different language!). Consider talking to a mental health professional about your feelings, as well. You may have unresolved attachment issues or a need to explore more effective communication strategies. And that’s okay.

Motherhood includes having a wide range of feelings, sometimes inconsistently or simultaneously. You aren’t psycho for having them. And you are not alone.

Lauren A. Tetenbaum, LCSW, JD, PMH-C is a writer and social worker specializing in women’s mental health. She is also Mommy to Luke (2016) and Eva (2018). Through her counseling practice, Lauren provides therapy in NY, NJ, CT, and FL, facilitates groups and workshops to empower postpartum and other women in corporate settings, and contributes to media on topics like maternal mental health, gender equity, and working parenthood. A former lawyer and a forever women’s rights advocate, Lauren feels privileged to counsel women through life transitions when they most need and deserve support. Her first book, about preparing millennials for menopause, will be available in 2025.

We Got You

Mom Crush

Vienna Pharaon on a Non-COVID Pregnancy, Mindfulness, and How to Manage Stress Mama knows best.

By Ruthie Friedlander

Meet Vienna Pharaon, a powerhouse Marriage and Family Therapist (and author) whose profound insights have guided countless individuals and couples through their most challenging times. As she prepares to welcome her second child, Vienna reflects on the delicate dance of balancing motherhood with a thriving career. “This was one of the things I worried about the most the first time around. My career really mattered to me, and I worried about being able to ‘do it all.’” Yet, she found that “your yeses and noes start to match up more,” allowing her to focus on what truly matters.

Vienna’s journey, shaped by her parents’ tumultuous divorce, led her to create the transformative MindfulMFT community on Instagram. She started with a simple goal: “to offer just one person a new perspective every day.” Today, she considers expanding her community to support parents more explicitly, noting that “some of the most important work that parents can do is continue to heal themselves.”

In this edition of MOM CRUSH, Vienna shares her insights on the common relationship challenges expectant couples face, such as increased stress and fear. She emphasizes the importance of open communication, suggesting couples ask each other questions like, “Something that scares me is…” and “I get the most stressed when…”

Vienna’s journey is one of resilience, introspection, and a relentless pursuit of healthy, lasting relationships. Join us as we explore her inspiring story and gather invaluable wisdom from her experiences.

Vienna wears HATCH’s Ruffled Smocked Midi Dress

What mindfulness practices do you recommend for expectant mothers to help manage stress and maintain mental well-being during pregnancy?

I’m lucky that I live in nature. I highly recommend being in nature every day if it’s available to you. I also find that during that time there’s a lot of space to connect with the babe inside. Prenatal yoga and movement is such a support for me, as well as mindful breathing.

How has your pregnancy experience influenced your perspective on the emotional and psychological aspects of motherhood?

It has changed everything. Going through the experience really feels like the only way to truly get it and comprehend it. And, even then it’s still your own unique experience that doesn’t mean that you fully understand the emotional and psychological toll it takes on another. My first pregnancy was really different from the pregnancy that I’m currently having. I was wiped out in the first trimester this time around which was so challenging on its own, but also incredibly emotional with having a child at home who wanted me and needed me when I felt like I couldn’t do anything.

Ultimately, you can hear all of the research and statistics in the world, but until you come face to face with your own experience it’s really hard to understand the transitions, losses, expansions, and grief you have along the way.

What role has your support system played during your pregnancy, and how important is it for expectant mothers to have one?

I was pregnant with my first child during the height of COVID. I really didn’t have much support during the pregnancy or postpartum which was so hard. My husband was amazing but our community wasn’t around. Having our first child during the pandemic was lonely and I don’t think I realized the toll it took until later. No one swung by (which we completely understood), but no one was dropping off food, or generally coming to check in on me and spend time with us, and just support and help, like they would’ve if it hadn’t been a pandemic.

This experience the second time around already feels different. I have people who are planning their visits and sharing the ways they can support. It makes the biggest difference. And, I’ve also communicated how important it is to me to have my community around this time. I can’t stress how important it is to have the type of support that’s going to care for you in the ways that feel most aligned.

What advice do you have for other expectant mothers who may be feeling overwhelmed or anxious about this new chapter in their lives?

Life is going to change. There will be expansion and loss that you feel. I truly believe any transition in our lives (whether we see it as objectively good or additive or not) will put us face to face with both expansion and grief. Bringing a child into this world does the same. Honor your overwhelm. Make space to understand and connect with the energy in your body that’s presenting as anxiety. Get to know it. What’s it trying to say? Instead of telling yourself it’s going to be fine or there’s nothing to be anxious about, try letting yourself acknowledge what’s there. But also let’s not just solely hang out there. Might you also make space to name what you’re looking forward to? What feels clear? What feels like ease? What feels exciting? It’s possible none of that is present currently (there’s nothing wrong with you if it’s not), but see if you can make space for both and all.

Vienna wears HATCH’sn The Carolina Dress

How has your sense of style evolved during your pregnancy, and what are some of your go-to maternity pieces?

To be seen in the world as a pregnant woman is entirely different this time around! Being pregnant during COVID was such a ride. No one saw me pregnant out in the world, so my style really didn’t exist. I still laugh to this day remembering when a friend asked me if my feet got swollen the first time and responding by saying “I don’t know, I never had to wear shoes.”

This time around it’s been about comfort but still feeling chic. I love all things HATCH. I’ve also been focused on items that can grow with me and then fit my postpartum body as well. Buying non maternity wear items that have stretch to them has worked for me. Since my third trimester is during the summer, I’m mostly living in dresses at this point. And for a splurge, I love an Artipoppe baby carrier for once the baby is in tow. Their carriers level up any outfit a few notches.

What legacy do you hope to leave through your work, both as a therapist and as a mother?

I hope that my work in the world is an invitation for people to find the intersection of grace and compassion for oneself and others as well as ownership, accountability, and responsibility for self and others. Context is really helpful, but it’s also not an excuse. I hope people are inspired to look at their past without getting stuck in order to find a way forward.

As a mother, it’s to be someone my children can trust, feel safe with, feel prioritized by, and who don’t question their worth and sense of belonging with me. I hope that they remember me as someone who was willing to take accountability and ownership, someone who was willing to apologize, and someone who cared deeply about their lives.

mom crush

Community

USofCare on the Maternal Health Journey Get the facts straight.

By Ruthie Friedlander

Welcome to a conversation about the powerhouse that is United States of Care (USofCare). Imagine a space where people, politics, and policy come together to truly listen—yes, listen loudly—to the voices of everyday Americans. At USofCare, the mission begins with understanding the real challenges faced by individuals across the country. One resounding concern? The maternal health crisis. Enter the 100 Weeks Project, the organization’s holistic initiative capturing the entire maternal health journey, from pre-pregnancy to a year postpartum. They’re not just talking about healthcare solutions; they’re revolutionizing how we support and uplift mothers through every step of their journey. Here, we chat with Venice Haynes, PhD, Senior Director of Research and Community Engagement at United States of Care, about the trends, the innovations, and the unwavering support that’s reshaping maternal health for the better.

Can you tell us a little bit about United States of Care?

At USofCare, we operate at the intersection of people, politics, and policy. That means we listen to people – or as we like to say, ‘listen loudly ’ to people – first before we do anything else. Then we take that listening work and innovate to develop policy solutions and partner with others to ensure our health care system works for everyone. And when we listened to literally tens of thousands of people across the country to understand how the healthcare system was failing them, the maternal health crisis always came up in conversation. Our work in this space—what we’re calling the 100 Weeks Project—offers a holistic approach to capturing the entire maternal health journey, from the time leading up to pregnancy to one year postpartum, in order to find comprehensive solutions to the maternal health crisis that encompasses the entirety of a woman’s journey.

What are some of the trends you’ve learned on maternal health from your listening work?

One trend we heard from our listening is that women need more support after their pregnancy and during the postpartum period, where they feel their care and assistance are severely diminished. Women said they felt overwhelmed, lost, and lonely during postpartum. They didn’t receive enough information on what to expect or where to go for resources from healthcare providers, so they navigated this period by relying on themselves and sometimes their community. They experience postpartum mental health struggles but have little to no knowledge of how to cope and get help and may even fear repercussions if they reach out to their healthcare professional – like, for example, a provider calling child protective services. And the barriers to getting the care she needs include racism, insurance coverage, income, geographic location, and more.

Specifically for Black women, some trends we also heard include the anxiety they feel when finding out they’re pregnant and wondering if their doctor is giving them the best care because of the identity, the sheer loneliness after giving birth – the feeling as if she can’t even recover from the birthing experience because she still has to take care of her family and her community, and the feeling like they don’t have much help (not from doctors, or mental health professionals, or sometimes even partners or extended family).

USofCare recently released a report that looks at how programs and practices are innovating to improve Black women’s journeys towards motherhood. What are some of the programs that seem the most promising?

There are some really promising innovations out there. From private employers and businesses to policy, four trends stood out amongst these programs and innovations.

Maternal health community-based organizations are identifying diverse and creative funding streams for sustainable programs and services. For example, Everyday Miracles in Minnesota was able to partner with HealthPartners – a health system in Minneapolis – to accelerate the timeline for paying claims, offer a higher payment rate than the state minimum, and provide grant funding to train more doulas of color. These improvements allowed Everyday Miracles to offer families more access to doula services.

Maternity care models include equity as an explicit goal. Some quality improvement initiatives in hospitals and health care systems have improved their overall maternal outcomes, but have not narrowed racial disparities – this has led hospitals and health systems to incorporate equitable outcomes for Black women as an explicit program goal.

States and community-based organizations are building capacity and cultural responsiveness in maternal mental health care. Shades of Blue Project in Houston, TX is focused on improving maternal mental outcomes for Black and brown women, and offers online support groups for Black women and I.N.S.P.I.R.E. method training for doulas, midwives, and other providers to provide compassionate care for women of color.

The private sector is using virtual care to expand access to maternal health care and services. Maven Clinic is a virtual clinic for women and families that works with employers and health plans to provide access to different care providers, including OB/GYNs, midwives, doulas, and more. Maven’s research found that Black members were more likely to seek virtual care than white members, over a third of Black members had an appointment with a doula.

Although not given nearly as much attention, we know that the postpartum period is critically important for a new mom’s physical and mental well-being. Why is it so important that we don’t ignore this period for new moms?

The postpartum period is a critical chapter in the maternal health journey, impacting a woman’s health, well-being, and overall experience. Our listening work tells us that women need more support after their pregnancy, where they feel their care and assistance severely diminished. Improving care during the postpartum period, when most maternal deaths occur, can reduce maternal mortality and morbidity, lay the foundation for better physical, mental, emotional, and social well-being for the mother, and improve the overall maternal health experience.

What are some of the programs and practices that are innovating health care delivery in the postpartum period to support the physical and mental well-being of Black women?

Oshun Family Center in Philadelphia, PA, provides a culturally and racially concordant, community-based perinatal wellness program to Black families. The center provides a comprehensive evaluation with a psychotherapist and offers 12 free therapy sessions if it is determined that the mother could use psychological support.

The Bloom Collective is a perinatal wellness center that provides classes and 1-1 consultations from preconception through postpartum. They offer virtual postpartum support groups, postpartum doula care, and lactation consultations to support mothers.

Your report also had some interesting findings around technological innovations from virtual care to review apps. Can you share some of these examples?

BabyScripts is a virtual platform and app that offers comprehensive maternity care and remote patient monitoring. The app provides access to the person’s care team, pregnancy education, risk assessments, and more. Babyscripts improved postpartum attendance rates and eliminated racial disparities observed in-office blood pressure collection between white and Black patients for postpartum hypertension.

Health in Her HUE is a digital platform that connects Black women and women of color to culturally sensitive healthcare providers, evidence-based health content, and community support with free and paid membership options.

Irth is a “Yelp-like” hospital review app that provides prenatal, birthing, postpartum, and pediatric reviews from Black and Brown women. It also partners with hospitals to provide Black and Brown patient data and identify gaps in bias-free patient care.

All of these programs and community organizations show that there is progress toward improving the Black maternal mortality crisis. Why does USofCare think it’s so important to prioritize sharing these ‘bright spots’ when speaking about Black maternal health?

Speaking personally, simply talking about the crisis can be really discouraging. I have so much respect and honor for my sisters, who continue to pursue motherhood even when we’re bombarded by a deluge of negative news.

While it’s important to address these issues, centering joy humanizes Black motherhood and portrays a more complete picture of their experiences. Black mothers are more than just statistics or victims; they experience joy, love, and triumphs like any other mothers. Prioritizing joy challenges the narrow narratives that portray Black motherhood solely through a lens of struggle and suffering.

Joy is also a powerful force for positive mental health. Constantly focusing on the challenges and disparities in Black maternal health can contribute to stress, anxiety, and depression. But when Black mothers see themselves represented in stories of joy and triumph, it fosters agency and empowerment.

Finally, joy encourages dialogue that is affirming, respectful, and culturally sensitive, promoting a more holistic approach to maternal health that considers the emotional, social, and cultural dimensions of Black women’s experiences.

Anything else you’d like to add?

This list of bright spots that I’ve highlighted today and in our findings is by no means exhaustive. We’d like to hear from those who are doing this work. We would love to hear from other leaders, organizations, entrepreneurs, and drivers of change across the maternal health ecosystem out there who are open to talking to us and sharing their successes.

community

The Ultimate Guide to Summer Sting Survival Buzz off!

By Ruthie Friedlander

Remember when you were little and a bee sting felt like the end of the world? We’ve all been there, crying (yes, full of snot) to mama as she gently soothed the sting with a bit of ice and lots of love. Fast forward to today, and as parents ourselves, those childhood memories have come full circle as we now comfort our own babes through those same summer woes.

To arm you with the knowledge you need, we’ve tapped Sollis Health’s Narissa M. Joyner, MD, Board Certified EM Physician, to give us the lowdown on all things bug bites and bee stings. From when to worry to when to chill out, plus the ultimate on-the-go first aid kit, Dr. Joyner has you covered. And here’s a pro tip: with a Sollis Health family membership, their experts are just a call (or an email with an image attached) away to answer any of your buggy questions, keeping your family safe and your summer stress-free.

What are common signs of insect stings or bites?

Red bump on the skin
Circular areas of swelling
Your child complaining of itching or burning in a specific area

What is the first thing a parent should do if their babe gets stung or bitten?

Wash the area with mild soap and water and pat dry
Apply a cool compress to the area
Apply over-the-counter cortisone cream, especially if you see swelling, or Benadryl cream, especially if the area is itchy. And yes, both can be applied!

What are the signs that my babe is having an allergic reaction?

Swelling of the area
Weeping
Intense itching or pain
Trouble breathing
Throat closing

How should parents handle an allergic reaction?

If it’s mild/moderate (for example, a rash, localized welling on arm or leg):
- Give Benadryl (topical or oral)
- Allergy medicine (like Zyrtec or Claritin)
If it’s severe (for example, your child is having trouble breathing, their throat is closing up, or their mouth is swelling):
- Given Benadryl and allergy medication
- Go to the Emergency Room

What steps can parents take to prevent their children from being stung or bitten?

Bug repellant with DEET can be sprayed on clothing.
Child-safe bug repellant should be used on skin.
When going on hikes in woods or areas with tall grasses, wear long pants tucked into socks, long sleeves, and a shirt tucked into pants.

Any favorite insect repellents for babe that aren’t super toxic?

Babyganics brand
Hello Bello brand
Mosquito/Insect repellant stickers and bracelets

Are there any long-term effects or complications that can arise from insect stings or bites?

Infections of the bite are a common complication. If you see any of the following signs, begin with over-the-counter wound antibiotic ointment like Bacitracin or Neosporin. Seek medical attention for evaluation; in some cases, an oral antibiotic may be necessary.

Spreading of redness or swelling
Feeling hot to touch
Fevers
Weeping of the area

I want to create a standard summertime first aid kit. What should I include for dealing with stings and bites?

Topical Benadryl
Liquid (oral) Benadryl
Bacitracin or Neosporin
Cortisone Cream or Ointment
Bactine (Or any wound cleansing spray)
Bandages just in case for keeping wounds or bites clean and dry

BTW: Sollis is offering 20% off ALL NEW memberships now through the end of June. Act soon to redeem their richest offer of the season. Want to learn more about Sollis Health? Discover the magic that is their Family Membership.

4 Frequently Asked Emergency Medical Questions Directly from the Docs at Sollis Health Here’s your peace of mind.

By Ruthie Friedlander

Life is unpredictable, but with the Sollis Health Family Membership, you can face every health challenge with confidence and calm. From those sleepless nights when your little one spikes a fever to the unexpected tumbles that come with age, Sollis Health is your trusted partner in care. The Sollis Family Membership covers everything from routine check-ups to urgent emergencies, ensuring that every member of your family—from the tiniest tot to the wisest elder—gets the personalized, comprehensive care they need. As mamas, we know that peace of mind can sometimes be the best medicine there is. Here, we chatted with Dr. Narissa M Joyner, MD, Board Certified EM Physician, on some of the most commonly asked questions about babes in the Sollis offices.

When it comes to fevers, how high is too high? And what do I do?

When it comes to fever, it’s not just about the number on the thermometer. Dr. Joyner explains—it’s about how your child is feeling and behaving. Say it with us, D-I-S-P-O-S-I-T-I-O-N! A fever can be a sign of the body fighting off an infection, but certain symptoms indicate that the fever is more serious:

Fever and vomiting: If your child has a fever and is also vomiting, this could be a sign of a more serious illness.
Fever and laying around limp: A fever that leaves your child unusually limp or lethargic is concerning.
Fever and not eating or drinking: If the fever is preventing your child from eating or drinking, it’s time to take action.
Fever and labored or quick breathing: Difficulty breathing alongside a fever is a red flag.

The key is to treat the fever when it’s causing your child to act abnormally. If your babe isn’t eating or drinking or seems unusually uncomfortable, it’s time to give Sollis a call. However, if your child is happy and active, there’s no need to rush to medicate them just because of the fever. When you do need to treat a fever, use ibuprofen or acetaminophen based on the weight-based dosage instructions on the bottle. Always ensure you are giving the correct dose to provide relief and help your child feel better.

When should I be worried about vomit? I feel like my kid is throwing up all the time!

Vomit can be alarming (not to mention, ew), but knowing when to worry and how to handle it can make a big difference. As Dr. Joyner explains, you should be concerned if you see blood in the vomit or if it’s green, black, or has a coffee-ground appearance, as these are indications of something potentially serious. Repeated vomiting in a short period also raises concerns due to the risk of dehydration.

If your child experiences a large amount of vomit but doesn’t show concerning symptoms, preventing dehydration is key. After a vomiting episode, wait 20 minutes to an hour before giving small sips of fluid. Gradually offering Pedialyte or Gatorade can help rehydrate your child without overwhelming their stomach. Ginger, either alone or in a tea, can help soothe nausea. Prescription medications like Zofran can be helpful, but always consult your medical provider to ensure it’s appropriate for your child. If the vomiting is persistent, accompanied by concerning symptoms, or if you’re unsure, seek medical attention right away. Your child’s well-being is the top priority, so never hesitate to reach out to healthcare providers when in doubt.

How do I know if my babe is dehydrated?

“Dehydration in babies can be identified by a few key signs,” Dr. Joyner explains. If your little one is crying but not producing any tears, or if they have cracked lips and a dry mouth, these are strong indicators of dehydration. To help prevent this, use a medicine syringe to give fluids if necessary, ensuring they get the hydration they need, even in small amounts. Constantly offering fluids and encouraging frequent small sips can make a big difference. Give your child any fluids they will accept, whether it’s juice, water, Gatorade, or even applesauce, to help keep them hydrated and healthy.

How do I know if my child is choking?

Identifying if a child is choking involves observing several key signs. If their mouth is open but they are not making any sound or are only making gagging noises, it could be a sign of choking. Additionally, if you notice their eyes bulging while their mouth opens and closes, they may be struggling to breathe. It’s important to note that if a child is coughing, they are not choking; coughing is actually a sign that they are trying to clear their airway. Recognizing these symptoms promptly can help you take the necessary steps to assist your child in such an emergency.

This article was written in partnership with Sollis Health.

Why Mama Should Train Not just workout.

By obé Fitness

Yes, we know. Staying active during (and after) pregnancy comes with a motherlode of science-backed benefits. Better mood, more quality sleep, smoother labor, more strength for the demands of motherhood, pain relief… you name it. But while taking a prenatal or postnatal Pilates class here and there can deliver some perks, you’ll get way more bang for your buck if you stop working out and start training instead.

But wait, isn’t that the same thing? While some use the two terms interchangeably, they’re very different—and have distinctive use cases.

The TL;DR is that working out is all about the immediate. It’s movement or exercise that maintains your fitness today. But when you train, you work towards a specific goal, manipulating variables along the way to see and feel tangible changes in body and mind. With the same amount of weekly time, training will get you way further than working out because there’s a rhyme and reason to what you’re doing.

Getting ready for motherhood or embarking on your postpartum journey are big life moments. Ones where your body, mind, and emotions all change a lot. Doing a workout here and there will offer stress relief, but training can help you become stronger than you ever were before, not just get back to where you were pre-pregnancy. Above all, it empowers you to feel your best and be fully prepared for the new chapter in your life.

RELATED: To Plank or Not To Plank?

Not sure where to start? Our friends at obé Fitness has you covered. To support women on every step of their pregnancy journey, they’ve recently launched two first-of-their-kind workout programs: Prenatal Training and Postnatal Training. Here, NASM CPT + PROnatal Pre/Postnatal Certified obé instructors, Melody D. and Nicole U., share a definitive guide to training through pregnancy—and beyond.

Prenatal Training: Why Do It?

‘Scared to work out while pregnant,’ ‘Is it safe to exercise pregnant, ‘Does exercise cause miscarriage.’ These are just some of the suggested Google searches that pop up on the hunt for safe pregnancy workouts. Between all the contradictory info, being a little (or a lot) scared, navigating physical changes, plus limited education and resources—it’s not shocking most moms-to-be avoid it.

According to one 2015 study, nearly 60% of pregnant women avoid physical activity. The why? Almost 50% report they didn’t get enough information or counseling from healthcare professionals. It turns out that very few healthcare professionals are trained in exercise guidelines, impacting their ability to advise those going through pregnancy.

The facts are that exercising during this time—with the right modifications—comes with an overwhelming amount of research-backed benefits for both mom and baby. Prenatal exercise can reduce the incidence of hypertension, cesarean births, preterm birth, and gestational diabetes, according to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG). Not to mention, it can reduce pregnancy pains, lower the risk of postpartum depressive disorders, and aid postpartum recovery time.

So, how do you train for two—safely and confidently?

obé Prenatal Training Program

Cue obé’s expert-curated Prenatal Training, a 4-week, beginner-friendly workout program designed to safely train you through all four trimesters. (To give it a try, Babe readers can enjoy a free month of obé with code BABEMONTH.)

On the weekly lineup: A 10-minute Prenatal Core class (360 breathing and pelvic floor exercises included), a 28-minute Lower Body Strength, a 28-minute Upper Body Strength, and a 28-minute Full Body Sculpt. If you’re up for it, go for active recovery (like stretching, Walks, or Yoga) or any obé cardio of your choice between training days. And for ease of mind, your instructors are a) PROnatal certified fitness experts and b) pregnant themselves.

Unlike other pregnancy workout programs, obé’s Prenatal Training is designed around ‘progressive overload,’ a training principle that consistently delivers strength gains and fitness results. Each of these classes safely and slowly builds in complexity over time, gradually challenging your body so you can adapt. All you have to do is show up, no guesswork included.

“Pregnancy is not a time to stop training,” says Melody. “You don’t need to stop improving your strength or making fitness gains.” By training your muscles (not just working out), you’ll feel relief from pregnancy aches, build muscular endurance for labor and beyond, plus feel confident moving your changing body.

Getting into the details, you’ll also learn how to properly exercise your pelvic floor, work your core (with the right modifications, working your core is totally safe), and move weight around.

“As you go through pregnancy, your body needs to be able to carry a significant amount of load,” explains Melody. “The second we scale back on weight-bearing activities, we’re doing ourselves a disservice. The more we train to support our muscles and joints, the better.”

To supplement your training, you’ll also find a weekly expert Audio Talk (because education is everything). Expect expert intel on prenatal training (demystifying what’s ‘safe’ during pregnancy), nutrition, stress management, mindfulness, and best sleep practices. At obé, we love a holistic approach!

Postnatal Training: Why Do It?

Now, let’s talk about working out post-baby. Most new moms have a lot of questions. Is there a right time to start? What exercises are safe? How long should you wait to recover? Should you prioritize strength or cardio? The list goes on.

Following an expert-curated postnatal training program can ease your mind and provide clarity about what you should do for your body (hint: it’s not always “working out”!).

Point blank; postnatal training is more effective at rebuilding back physical strength than if you just did workouts à la carte. Why? Again, progressive overload is the secret ingredient! When following a program, you know every class is thoughtfully designed to gradually level up, so you can safely progress from your baseline to new supermom strength.

“Most women don’t realize how much they’re going to use their muscles even on that first day after giving birth,” Nicole explains. “Whether you’re using your abs to go from a reclined to an upright position, using your thighs to squat down and pick up a baby, or using your arms to hold them up, you’ll be tapping into your muscles daily.” Without proper training—like knowing the right way to engage your core—you can develop an injury or feel your body taking a toll, she adds.

obé Postnatal Training: Phase 1—Rehab & Recovery

We know the postnatal journey isn’t linear and that every woman has a unique timeline. To honor those individualities, obé’s Postnatal Training program is broken down into two key phases. The first training phase is all about acclimation, rehab, and recovery. Movement here needs to be gentle (but purposeful) to help you settle into your body, which will likely feel different. Don’t think “bounce back,” think “build back stronger.”

“There have been so many shifts with your alignment, energy levels, and muscular atrophy, so it’s super important to ease back into working out,” says Nicole. “You have to give your body the proper time it needs to fully heal before you can take on more strenuous exercise.”

In Phase 1 of obé’s Postnatal Training program, you’ll take on weekly guided walks (optional but recommended!), a mobility + activation class, and a 360 breathing + pelvic floor workout. If you feel ready, you may start this program as early as one week after birth.

Why start here before scaling up to more intense workouts? During pregnancy, the body produces relaxin hormone. Long story short, relaxin enables you to be stretchy and flexible enough to give birth, as its superpower is relaxing your joints and ligaments. The only problem is that it can stay in your body long after pregnancy. Injuring yourself or overstretching can become an issue without proper body awareness.

Plus, you’ll need time to reconfigure the body misalignments from pregnancy—like a tilted pelvis (super common), which can impair your workout form. Training your body to return to a neutral spine and finding vertical alignment is a key investment in your long-term physical health, so don’t rush it.

Finally, Nicole always encourages new moms to listen to their intuition. Repeat this phase as many times as needed before progressing onwards, you may need to go through it 2-3+ times!

obé Postnatal Training: Phase 2—Return to Exercise

Once you feel more confident in your body, it’s time to graduate to Phase 2 of obé’s Postnatal Training program. Here, you’ll build back strength with more traditional workouts and get into a consistent workout habit. Melody and Nicole recommend waiting until at least 6 weeks post-birth to go into this phase of postnatal training.

The main focus here is preparing you for the activities of daily living and motherhood. Each week, you’ll take on a mix of 15-28 minute Sculpt, Strength, and low-impact cardio classes to do just that. Designed to boost the muscles every mom will use, these progressions will repeat for two weeks, then level up in intensity. This progressive overload structure allows you to maintain or build muscle quality, which will diminish aches and pains plus help you move with newfound comfort and stability.

If this seems intimidating, Nicole emphasizes that you’re more ready than you think. “I feel we don’t give moms in the postnatal phase enough credit for what they’re capable of,” she says. “We err on the side of caution so much that it can be fear-provoking. Tap into your intuition, trust your body, and trust your strength.”

Remember, every one of the workouts in this training program was designed to be safe and effective for exactly the stage you’re at. You got this mama, we’re cheering you on.

Ready to start your prenatal or postnatal training journey? Use code BABEMONTH to enjoy one free month of obé—training programs included.

Fitness

Megan Roup on Babywearing Workouts and Solly Baby

By Ruthie Friedlander

Celebrity trainer and founder of The Sculpt Society, Megan Roup, has teamed up with Solly Baby to bring you a workout program that’s truly a game-changer for moms. Imagine getting your sweat on while your little one is snuggled up in a Solly Baby wrap—pure magic, right? This unique program is all about strengthening your core and pelvic floor postpartum, making it perfect for new moms. Megan, who recently welcomed her second baby, Mercer, has been refreshingly real about how juggling two kids has changed her daily routines. Fitness is still a non-negotiable for her, just in ways you might not expect. Launched on April 29 as part of The Sculpt Society’s postpartum program, this six-class series seamlessly blends the Solly Baby wrap into a fitness routine that’s both accessible and effective. The goal? To empower moms on their fitness journeys, promoting health and well-being during the postpartum period while keeping baby close.

Tell us a little bit more about creating this specific postpartum fitness program and why you wanted to incorporate Solly Baby?

Megan: With my first baby, Harlow, I loved using Solly Baby. It was on my registry, and as a new mom, there’s just something so special about having a baby on your chest. I feel that way with my eight-month-old, Mercer too. For me, as a first-time mom, I found it very comforting. As I was going into my second pregnancy and thinking about revamping my original postpartum program, it was a natural fit to team up and incorporate movement with the Solly Baby wrap. New moms are often strapped for time, and sometimes, your baby is on your chest the whole day. If I can give women a three to 10-minute video to get some movement in for themselves during that challenging time, that’s a win.

How does babywearing can enhance postpartum workouts?

There are many benefits of babywearing from an emotional perspective, as I learned from Solly Baby. Physically, you’re holding a seven to 10-pound weight on your chest, which makes any exercise more challenging. As a new mom, you underestimate how often you’re putting down and picking up your baby—just everyday functional movement. And as they grow, that weight increases.

It’s probably also great to integrate movement early on, even if the baby doesn’t necessarily know what’s going on…

Totally. With both of my kids, they’ve seen me move from an early age—on the mat by myself and just modeling happy movement. Harlow, who is almost three, will say, “Mommy’s going to kick her leg! Can I come kick my leg with you?” It’s important. With Mercer, when I was recording these workouts, she was old enough to be awake and aware, and she’s obsessed. She’s giggling in some of the videos. There’s something about having the baby on your chest, moving to the beat of the music, that the kids just love.

What are some new things about this postpartum workout? Other than the accessory, of course!

This was the first time I integrated dance. My original postpartum program didn’t have any dance. I wanted to bring that in because with Solly Baby, you’re sort of naturally rocking, and it’s all safe and low impact. The other exercises consider the postpartum physical progression—how am I progressing as the weeks go on? How is this getting harder? How are we still thinking about the pelvic floor even while doing a lunge in the Solly Baby wrap? The Solly Baby workouts are part of my larger postpartum program that addresses the pelvic floor and guides you through the first six weeks.

You’ve been very vocal about your personal experience with overexercising. How, if at all, has this played into your postpartum approach to working out?

Coming from someone who over-exercised in their early 20s, reframing it, especially in motherhood, so that your movement practice doesn’t need to be long and grueling is important. One of my three-minute Solly Baby standing leg combos can be all the movement you can squeeze in. But feeling that shift and power in those three minutes can affect how you feel throughout the rest of your day. It’s about showing women that, as a new mom, you might wonder, “How am I ever going to feel like myself again? How am I going to make movement something I can do every day?” Well, you can do it. It just needs to be right, and it’s okay if it looks a little different.

Check out the full collection here.

fitness

Fitness

To Plank or Not To Plank? That is the question!

By Emily Claman, PPNFS, PPNFTS, CPT and Founder of Push

Strengthening your core is one of the most important things to focus on during pregnancy.

Pre-pregnancy, we look to planks as a quick, direct way to work our core while engaging our entire body. During pregnancy, we need to reevaluate why we’re even planking in the first place. While we wish the answer was as easy as “yes, do it!” or “no, definitely don’t,” everyone’s body is different, so unfortunately, there is no one-size-fits-all answer to this question.

However, you absolutely do reach a point in pregnancy where just because you can hold a plank doesn’t mean you should.

RELATED: How to Boost Your Motivation

Your pre-pregnancy activity levels are only a small factor in your ability to tolerate planks during your pregnancy. Alignment, torso size, baby size (and location!), daily physical stressors, gravity, and hormones are a few variables that also affect your ability to tolerate planks during pregnancy.

First and foremost, to plank safely and effectively during pregnancy, you need to understand and connect to the proper breath mechanics. You must be able to access and engage your transversus abdominis muscle ( (TVA) muscle, part of your deep core. Your TVA is the deepest layer of your core and helps provide stability and manage pressure.

Planking is what we call an “anti-extension movement.” These types of movements tax the anterior core muscles. During pregnancy, this outermost layer of your core is already enduring an excessive amount of stress and managing a lot of IAP (intra-abdominal pressure) due to your growing belly. Planks increase IAP, and excessive IAP can exacerbate Diastasis Recti (the separation of your abdominal wall) and can lead to other unnecessary aches and pains in your changing structure. Therefore, planking should be regressed as pregnancy progresses to minimize stress on the external abdominal wall.

In your second trimester, you need to begin to monitor your full plank (front and side). Check for coning in the belly and check for loss of neutral trunk position. Keep an eye on back/hip pain. While some pregnant women need to regress full center planks, they might be able to tolerate a full side plank. For others, it might be the opposite. For example, it is typically advised to modify planks in the second trimester by taking them to an incline position or dropping them to the knees. Another great option is dropping to a strong all-4s position with or without a ball squeeze between the legs. From there, you can add a knee hover if you’re able to maintain proper form and alignment.

By your third trimester – full-center planks should be avoided. The direct downward-facing pressure on the abdominal wall is too great and simply unnecessary (your postpartum body will thank you!!). Most people will also need to avoid full-side planks given the increase in IAP, which these typically elicit as well. If you can tolerate it, it’s advised to continue planking on your side with one or both knees on the ground for extra support.

Your postpartum recovery starts during your pregnancy. The choices you make during your prenatal workouts directly impact your postpartum body. More often than not, towards the mid/end of their pregnancy, most pregnant women are forcing themselves to continue doing full planks for their ego, not for the actual benefit of the exercise.

Ultimately, if you’re able to tolerate a plank, it is safe to do during your pregnancy. However, after a certain point, it’s important to evaluate WHY you are planking – if it’s to have a strong core during pregnancy, there are plenty of more effective exercises than a plank to focus on to strengthen the abs during your pregnancy!

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fitness

We Got You

My Mother-in-Law Has Feelings About My Breastfeeding Decisions... WWYD?

By Lauren Tetenbaum

Welcome to Babe’s newest advice column, featuring guidance from perinatal mental health and relationship expert Lauren Tetenbaum (AKA The CounseLaur). The information herein does not and is not intended to constitute mental health, medical, or legal advice. Please contact your healthcare provider if you have specific needs, the Maternal Mental Health Hotline for on-demand support, or 911 for emergency assistance. Want to submit a question? Email editorial@hatchcollection.com.

Q: My mother-in-law has “FEELINGS” about the fact that I’m not breastfeeding. How do I keep myself out of jail but explain to her politely (or semi-politely) that it’s not her business?

A: Welcome to motherhood, where everyone will have an opinion about what you do or don’t do for your family, and you need to learn to listen to your gut and tune out the noise. You owe no one an explanation about your child-rearing choices, as long as they are safe and made with your co-parent if you have one. And if that co-parent’s mom has something to say? Well, she can try to be helpful and then back off because you, new mama, have no time for haters.

In all seriousness, this is not the time to be concerned with how you are perceived by others, including parents or in-laws. It’s the time to focus on yourself – including your healing and growing family. Maybe you’re not breastfeeding because you find it tedious, or it hurts, or it’s affecting your mental health – or you simply don’t want to (but if you do want to and are struggling, consider getting help from a healthcare professional like a lactation consultant).

Fed is best, whether through nursed breastmilk, pumped milk, formula, or some combination. Remind yourself that you are taking care of your baby in the way that works best for you. And remind yourself that your MIL presumably wants the best for your baby, her precious grandchild, too. It sounds like she’s not expressing herself in the most thoughtful way, and that’s frustrating. But you’re right; your decision whether to breastfeed is not her business.

Setting boundaries in line with this value is easier said than done, I know, yet it would serve you well to not worry so much about being polite or disappointing anyone. Try to make clear with direct language (or via your partner, who should step up here) that while you appreciate her suggestions, you’ve made your decision. Your body, your choice. Your baby, your choice. Good luck asserting yourself, and know that your Babe community has your back!

We Got You

Mom Schwing

Stapelstein is Turning Couch Potatoes into Playtime Pioneers Meet your favorite new “element.”

By Ruthie Friedlander

In the tongue-in-cheek, spit-up-stained pages of parenting, there lies a stark reality: our babes are becoming expert-level loungers. But before you start envisioning your living room as a toddler’s corporate office, let’s introduce the game-changer: Stapelstein. This isn’t your average “get off the iPad” lecture; it’s a bona fide play revolution, a beacon of innovation storming the sedentary castle with color, form, and eco-conscious ingenuity.

Stephan Schenk and Hannah König, the visionaries behind Stapelstein, didn’t simply wake up one day and decide to create a play solution. They recognized a pressing issue: the lack of movement among modern children. ‘The problem we’re facing is a [lack] of movement at home,’ Schenk shares. ‘The World Health Organization is sounding the alarm, and yet, we’re struggling to meet even the most basic movement requirements.’

While we all appreciate moments of calm, it’s important to remember that stillness can hinder development. Our children are born to move—and Schenk understands this deeply. ‘Children need movement to develop a robust understanding of the world,’ he explains. ‘Play is the universal language of learning. And let’s face it, adults could use a refresher from that playbook.’

Imagine a product that’s a literal magnet for movement, a piece of design so clever it’s like a personal trainer for fun. “Our goal was to craft shapes that beg to be tumbled with—forms that are as dynamic as they are inviting,” Schenk explains. The beauty of contrast in Stapelstein’s world isn’t just about colors that pop; it’s about forms that roll and rest, wobble and stabilize.

And about that color theory—Stapelstein doesn’t do dull. They’re wielding a palette that’s a full-on color wheel rebellion. “This isn’t just about aesthetics; it’s about emotional and cognitive responses.” Speaking about colors…

Let’s talk green—no, not the color, the planet. In a world where ‘eco-conscious’ is tossed around like confetti, Stapelstein plants its flag in sustainability with conviction. Schenk’s approach is holistic, and it’s not just for show. “Designing for children means we have a non-negotiable obligation to think sustainably,” he says, pointing out that every decision, from material to the play potential, has to pass the future-proof test.

And just when you think they’ve thought of everything, they pull out another trick from their sleeve. The ‘inside’ edition isn’t just new—it’s a revolution within a revolution. “We’re leaving space for the child’s creativity to unfold,” Schenk says, “like a seed that grows into a blooming flower.” The product isn’t just about what it is; it’s about what it can become in the hands of a child—or any playful soul, for that matter.

Here’s the kicker: Stapelstein isn’t just about selling you a stackable slice of genius; they’re here to shake up the entire playtime paradigm. Schenk makes it clear: “We’re not in the business of dictating play. We’re in the business of inspiring it. Our role is to set the stage for creativity and then step back and watch the magic happen.”

And oh, the magic! We hung out with the team from Stapelstein, along with some mamas and their babes, and saw SO. MUCH. PLAY. From stacking to spinning, balancing to splashing, sorting to drumming, and so much more, we saw babies as young as seven months old and children as old as eight enjoying the elements.

If the play is the work of childhood, then Stapelstein is the office renovation our kids deserve. Stephan’s design mantra and process is not form follows function, but form is function. This isn’t just about toys; it’s about a manifesto for movement, a declaration of fun, and a sustainable blueprint for the future. It’s time to roll out the rainbow carpet and let play take center stage.

Use code BABE10 for a 10% discount on your Stapelstein.

Mom Schwing

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Q: I’m jealous that my husband calls my daughter “his favorite girl.” Am I a psychopath?

What mindfulness practices do you recommend for expectant mothers to help manage stress and maintain mental well-being during pregnancy?

How has your pregnancy experience influenced your perspective on the emotional and psychological aspects of motherhood?

What role has your support system played during your pregnancy, and how important is it for expectant mothers to have one?

What advice do you have for other expectant mothers who may be feeling overwhelmed or anxious about this new chapter in their lives?

How has your sense of style evolved during your pregnancy, and what are some of your go-to maternity pieces?

What legacy do you hope to leave through your work, both as a therapist and as a mother?

Can you tell us a little bit about United States of Care?

What are some of the trends you’ve learned on maternal health from your listening work?

USofCare recently released a report that looks at how programs and practices are innovating to improve Black women’s journeys towards motherhood. What are some of the programs that seem the most promising?

Although not given nearly as much attention, we know that the postpartum period is critically important for a new mom’s physical and mental well-being. Why is it so important that we don’t ignore this period for new moms?

What are some of the programs and practices that are innovating health care delivery in the postpartum period to support the physical and mental well-being of Black women?

Your report also had some interesting findings around technological innovations from virtual care to review apps. Can you share some of these examples?

All of these programs and community organizations show that there is progress toward improving the Black maternal mortality crisis. Why does USofCare think it’s so important to prioritize sharing these ‘bright spots’ when speaking about Black maternal health?

Anything else you’d like to add?

What are common signs of insect stings or bites?

What is the first thing a parent should do if their babe gets stung or bitten?

What are the signs that my babe is having an allergic reaction?

How should parents handle an allergic reaction?

What steps can parents take to prevent their children from being stung or bitten?

Any favorite insect repellents for babe that aren’t super toxic?

Are there any long-term effects or complications that can arise from insect stings or bites?

I want to create a standard summertime first aid kit. What should I include for dealing with stings and bites?

When it comes to fevers, how high is too high? And what do I do?

When should I be worried about vomit? I feel like my kid is throwing up all the time!

How do I know if my babe is dehydrated?

How do I know if my child is choking?

Prenatal Training: Why Do It?

obé Prenatal Training Program

Postnatal Training: Why Do It?

obé Postnatal Training: Phase 1—Rehab & Recovery

obé Postnatal Training: Phase 2—Return to Exercise

Tell us a little bit more about creating this specific postpartum fitness program and why you wanted to incorporate Solly Baby?

How does babywearing can enhance postpartum workouts?

It’s probably also great to integrate movement early on, even if the baby doesn’t necessarily know what’s going on…

What are some new things about this postpartum workout? Other than the accessory, of course!

You’ve been very vocal about your personal experience with overexercising. How, if at all, has this played into your postpartum approach to working out?

Q: My mother-in-law has “FEELINGS” about the fact that I’m not breastfeeding. How do I keep myself out of jail but explain to her politely (or semi-politely) that it’s not her business?

Thank You!

We’ve Got You