Journaling as a Tool for Coping with Postpartum Depression Write it out, mama.

By Nadine Westwood

Nadine is a health coach and writer who helps her clients achieve phenomenal and sustainable results by combining nutrition, fitness and fun! She believes primarily in living a happy life, and that the backbone of any lifestyle is that it must be sustainable and enjoyable.

The postpartum period represents a profoundly challenging epoch, wherein many women silently endure significant hardship, often not out of volition, but from circumstantial constraints. A staggering number of women are precluded from accessing vital mental health services due to geographical and financial impediments, presenting an even more formidable obstacle amid an ongoing mental health strife. Journaling, while seemingly simplistic, can serve as a potent tool in fostering mental health; for new mothers, consistently carving out even a mere 20 minutes daily or weekly for this practice can substantively fortify mental resilience and well-being. 

What is Journaling?

When we think of journaling, it’s normal to imagine our 10-year-old selves writing our deepest thoughts in a notebook with our favorite pen. That’s not much different from what we plan to do when journaling as adults. Mental health journaling doesn’t even have to be focused or planned out. The goal of your journaling journey is to get what’s in your head, onto the page. 

It’s best to journal consistently, daily or weekly, as it lets you process your thoughts and feelings in a comfortable time frame. There’s no deadline to “curing” your depression, so don’t rush yourself. Your notes (or doodles) are there to help you move forward at your own pace.

You can express yourself as you like; there are no right or wrong answers. There are even different types of journaling, including these, that are helpful for postpartum depression:

  • Gratitude Journal: Write about what you’re grateful for and what you cherish. 
  • Dreams and Ideas Journal: Write about what you want to do in the future.
  • Affirmations Journal: Write about your thoughts from different perspectives.
  • Self-Care Journal: Write about your direct thoughts and feelings. 

Journaling isn’t a cure-all, and if you’re experiencing debilitating symptoms, it’s a good idea to speak to a professional. With that said, journaling can be a great companion to professional guidance or as a helpful tool if you’re unable to access mental health services at this time.

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How Journaling Can Help With Postpartum Depression

Postpartum depression makes it feel seemingly impossible to do certain tasks. If you have the energy, you can capitalize on the benefits of mental health journaling, such as: 

  • It Makes You More Aware: Writing down your feelings helps you understand them better. This structure can help you form new perceptions about certain events.
  • It Helps You Focus: Writing down your thoughts can help you stop thinking about them over and over again. It’s healthy to get those feelings out of your head.
  • It Reduces Anxiety: A study that followed people who journaled for 15 minutes a day over a 12-week period found that journaling leads to fewer depressive symptoms. 
  • It Encourages Opening Up: Opening up is hard, but journaling can make it easier. You’re already opening up to journals, so the next step to a person isn’t as difficult.
  • It Can Speed Up Physical Healing: Seriously! In a study, biopsy patients who wrote daily recovered faster than people who didn’t! Mental and physical health are connected!

Journaling Tips That Can Help With Postpartum Depression

“Write what you like” can be a pretty intimidating concept, and we get it! So, to help you get used to journaling for the benefit of your mental health, try these tips and tricks.

Buy a Cute Journal

Buying a cute journal can really motivate you to start writing. Whether you want something pink and fluffy or black and sleek, a journal that fits your personality will be more fun to write in. Plus, choosing your own journal can help you become more attached to the thought of writing.

Write 20 Minutes a Day

Twenty minutes a day seems to be the sweet spot. It gives you enough time to write down your thoughts without getting too overwhelmed. And don’t worry if you can’t make it to 20 minutes. Ten, five, or even three is more than enough. Just write as often as you can, but stay consistent.

Try New Things

Use different writing prompts or styles to prevent boredom. For example, you could write comforting words to yourself or a letter to someone you care about. If you find yourself pulling away from writing, ask yourself if there’s something you can do to keep yourself motivated. 

Don’t Be Too Negative

It’s totally fine to jot down your negative thoughts, but if that’s all you’re doing, it could negatively affect your mental health. Put a limit on the negativity. If rereading these negative thoughts isn’t helpful, consider ripping out the page and throwing it away for some emotional cleansing. 

Make it Easy to Write

Building any habit is hard enough when you are struggling with mental health issues… It can feel like climbing a mountain. The goal here is to try to make things easier. Remind yourself to journal by putting your notebook in your bag, phone, or car, or set notifications on your phone for the best time.

In Conclusion… 

Postpartum depression is a severe, long-lasting depression that should be taken seriously, but it shouldn’t be treated as a character flaw. 

Prompt treatment can help you manage your symptoms, and journaling can play a part in your recovery. Writing down your deepest thoughts and feelings can give you clarity on what’s happening and speed up your recovery. Journaling can be a great coping tool for mothers. 

For more resources on postpartum depression, please refer to the following:

1. Postpartum Support International provides various resources, including peer mentors who are trained to listen and provide helpful advice.

2. Postpartum Progress offers information, support, and stories from mothers who have experienced postpartum depression.

3. The American Psychological Association has useful mental health resources, including those pertaining to postpartum depression.

4. The Kelley Kitley Serendipitous Psychotherapy provides postpartum depression screenings to new mothers and their partners.

5. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration’s (SAMHSA’s) National Helpline provides 24/7 assistance for any mental health-related issues, including postpartum depression.

6. Postpartum Health Alliance: A non-profit organization dedicated to increasing awareness about perinatal mood disorders and providing support services to women who are pregnant or postpartum.

7. Reach out to your local hospitals and health clinics: Often, they have support groups or resources for new moms, including those struggling with postpartum depression. 

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Discover FRANKIE4's Uniquely Supportive, Stylish Footwear Crafted just for mamas.

By Ruthie Friedlander

Navigating through the mesmerizing yet challenging journey of pregnancy and early parenthood brings forth a unique set of demands for every woman. From the nuanced shifts in the physical form to the fluttering waves of emotional tides, expecting and new mothers invariably seek a blend of comfort and style that respects and responds to their changing needs. Our friends at FRANKIE4 offer a paradigm of wellness embedded in footwear and orchestrate an exquisite symphony of comfort, style, and health precisely curated for the ebbs and flows of motherhood. 

Here, we explore the diligent craftsmanship, intentional design, and soulful ethics that fashion their footwear. Whether it’s prioritizing the well-being of your feet during pregnancy, ensuring style does not relinquish comfort, or intertwining sustainability with self-care, FRANKIE4 carves a distinctive path in catering to the holistic needs of women during this pivotal life chapter.

Frankie4 is known for taking wellness to the next level in footwear. Can you explain the role that comfort plays in overall well-being, especially for expecting and new moms?”

During pregnancy, in particular, your feet will change, and the importance of supporting your body through each day is vital to keeping moving without the impact of foot pain, through pregnancy changes and beyond.

RELATED: The Benefits of FRANKIE4 Shoes for Moms-to-Be

Our footbed is adjustable in most of our enclosed styles, including sneakers and boots, and it is built into our slides and sandals. Unique to FRANKIE4 is our Sole Saver Pack. This genius pack means women can enjoy the same pair of sneakers, or their beautiful boots pre-, during, and post-pregnancy regardless of what your feet decide to do. Whether you have wide, narrow, or regular-width feet, or maybe you’ll experience swelling, you can adjust the footbeds to suit your needs. Each pack comes with two full-length footbeds, two half-footbeds, and two forefoot cushions. It’s simple to use, but is truly game-changing because no two feet are the same, so why should your shoes be?

Many women sacrifice comfort for style when it comes to shoes. How does Frankie4 manage to combine both without compromising either?

It’s what’s on the inside that truly counts, but achieving that isn’t as straightforward as just adding a supportive footbed to any shoe. At FRANKIE4, we take a comprehensive approach to shoe design, meticulously crafting every single component from the ground up – be it the soles, uppers, laces, footbeds, zip pulls, or buckles. It might not be the easiest route to creating footwear, but for us, it’s the only path to deliver the quality our customers anticipate and deserve.

Our design team, composed of fashion experts, ensures that our styles remain in sync with the latest trends and runway inspirations. They are closely supported by our technical team, which dedicates months to testing our shoes on several women to guarantee they offer comfort without slipping, rubbing, squeezing, or causing undue pressure on the feet. Our performance and comfort standards are exceptionally high, and no pair makes it to the production line unless we are absolutely certain they meet these criteria.

Sometimes, our technical designers need to decline a style because it simply won’t work, but we have an extraordinary team that continually pushes boundaries and seems to work magic with each passing season. Our goal is for women to love their shoes, making them their daily go-to choice.

Could you delve into the podiatrist-designed support in your shoes? How do these features contribute to the ‘game-changing comfort’ that Frankie4 promises?

Our favorite topic – game-changing comfort. As mentioned above, it all began with our Sole Hero Footbed. Now in our 13th year selling FRANKIE4 to women around the world, and nearly 100,000+ 5-star reviews on our styles, our footbed has remained unchanged throughout and is what gives women the ‘ahhh feeling’ when they put on a pair.

Heel support, which lifts, cradles and cushions the heel to help prevent heel pain. Arch support that works to facilitate better foot and lower limb alignment. And forefoot support that aims to reduce or avoid painful pressure points under the foot. It’s this perfect mix of features, to the millimetre, that our founders worked on to ensure this technology is enjoyed by all women who wear our shoes.

As people increasingly focus on self-care, how is Frankie4 aligning its products to cater to the holistic needs of its customers? 

It can be easy to think about self-care as luxuriating in the occasional bubble bath, or buying yourself that delicious, flaky croissant with your Friday morning coffee. But self-care should be a continuous investment we make in ourselves, so that we can better take care of others – whether that’s family, friends, or our community at large. All our styles are an investment in your lower limb alignment, meaning you can step out (or in!) knowing your shoes are supporting your everyday health. Self-care practices can be the most powerful when they support your wellbeing in the long run, not just for a day or two.

Although all our styles on offer – from sneakers, to boots, to flats – provide you with that signature FRANKIE4 feeling, we’re excited to soon introduce our range of slippers to our US collection. Stay tuned for their release late Fall… and get ready for responsibly sourced Shearling, soft suede leathers, and our Sole Hero Footbeds for the ultimate in-home coziness.   

Frankie4 is also committed to sustainability. How does this ethos of ‘doing better by our planet’ fit into the broader narrative of wellness and self-care?

We feel it’s important to note that the fashion industry thrives on consumption and newness. For this reason, we don’t call ourselves a ‘sustainable brand’ – instead, we engage in responsible practices. Our goal is to create products that live at the intersection of both human and planetary health, which are so uniquely intertwined. When we take care for our planet, we are also engaging in care for ourselves, and our future generations inheriting the consequences of our choices today.

With this in mind – you shouldn’t have to choose between style, comfort, and responsible making when it comes to the shoes on your feet. Responsible practices are key to our product design process – from the materials we use, through to the makers that bring our FRANKIE4 dream to life through every pair crafted. For example, we incorporate rPET lining across the range (made from post-consumer waste plastic bottles), use leathers from Leather Working Group (LWG) Gold and Silver Rated tanneries, and have eliminated single use plastics for styles produced from March 2023 onwards. We also have a close working relationship with our suppliers, who are audited by Sedex each year – one of the world’s leading ethical trade organisations. Our makers are also paid above living wage in Vietnam, making our next-level designs and unparalleled comfort a reality for women seeking wellness around the world.

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Navigating My New Mama Beauty Routine Turns out it just takes TWO.

By Ruthie Friedlander

Ah, journey with me, if you will, through the fantastical odyssey of post-partum beauty — an enchanted land where under-eye bags are a couture accessory and sleep is a mythical entity, as elusive as a unicorn. Here I stand (read: totally laying down), one month (plus a few extra, sleep-deprived days) into the throes of motherhood, starkly realizing that the only routine I’ve mastered involves a mild, pulsating anxiety that crescendos just in time for my daughter’s morning walk.

My skincare routine? A once gloriously intricate 4-part symphony of Biologique Recherche has now been irresponsibly abandoned, replaced by frenzied midnight searches of “how to make baby burp faster, please help” on TikTok and haphazardly humming lullabies. My hair? An unsung tragedy, that, frankly, I scarcely paid attention to pre-babe era.

I doom scroll watching 10-part beauty routines on social media, wondering when I’ll return to the “old me” that knew (and did and loved) all the contour techniques and winged liner hacks. I open my bathroom mirror and stare into the abyss that is my makeup collection and wonder, will I ever use this again?

Short answer: 100%. I’ve cast a desperate S.O.S into the beauty ether, and lo, Jeanine Lobell, founder of NEEN beauty, answered the call. Because surely, if there’s a soul who can elevate this emotionally saturated, sleep-starved new mama from the depths of desolation to a semblance of her once glowing self, it’s the queen herself.

Jeanine, navigating through parenthood five times over, stands as an effervescent beacon of knowledge and a dab hand at managing the chaos, having founded the first makeup brand my youthful self was enchanted by (hello, Stila!), and currently NEEN. Whom better to seek counsel from? Here, the makeup maven reminisced about early parenthood, sharing, “I remember I didn’t want to wear perfume anymore because I wanted the baby to know my scent.”

She continues, “You eventually sync into being a caregiver, which, for most of us, involves a reluctant descent into self-neglect. I mean, a shower begins to assume the guise of a luxurious treat. It’s imperative to carve out a routine where self-abandonment isn’t the default setting.”

The wisdom from Jeanine was not an endless list of products or an intricate regimen as you may expect from a makeup artist and beauty brand founder. It was far more attainable. “Even allotting, like, five minutes to pause before the mirror, to really see yourself, and recollect the person you are amidst the chaos, can be a healing.” Her mantra for post-partum beauty? It just takes two. Two products, that’s the ticket.

The Power of a Cream Blush

“Most new parents are pretty sleepless, so puffiness and dark circles are a thing. Rather than combat those things with a concealer, try a cream blush,” she suggests. “You want to find products that are multi-use, long-wear, and distracting from any discoloration. A good cream blush instantly puts color back into your face and, since it’s a cream, adds a glowing effect,” says Jeanine.

My personal fave? Neen’s Going Rouge Cheek & Lip Cream in Shake, available at Nordstrom.

A Low-Maintenance/High Impact Mascara

“You’re going to want to find a mascara that has high impact, but is low maintenance.” So what does that mean? In layman’s terms, something you can put on, won’t smudge, flake, or have to be reapplied throughout your day. “Our Pretty Extra mascara is made within clean formula guidelines to avoid as many ingredients that we currently know to be potentially harmful, which is something to pay attention to when you’re a new mom.

Embracing the beautiful chaos of new motherhood, it’s natural to (even if only momentarily) say a gentle goodbye to meticulous beauty routines of the past, and hello to a simpler, cleaner approach. Jeanine’s advice nudges us not just towards a refreshed outer self but reflects the unfiltered beauty of motherhood itself. In the mirror, with just a cream blush and mascara, I have been able to find the perfect blend of who I was and who I am becoming.

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Finding Joy in Solo Parenting Cultivating happiness as a Single Mama.

By Nadine Westwood

Nadine is a health coach and writer who helps her clients achieve phenomenal and sustainable results by combining nutrition, fitness and fun! She believes primarily in living a happy life, and that the backbone of any lifestyle is that it must be sustainable and enjoyable.

Parenting with a spouse can already get overwhelming. When you’re a single parent, you’re taking on the role of two or more people, which can lead to stress and worry. 

Single parenting is just hard! There’s no other way to describe it. That doesn’t mean raising the babes on your own isn’t possible, and it absolutely does not mean you can’t find joy. Learning to be a happy, single mom can also be a struggle, especially with the wrong mindset.

Always remember that you deserve to be happy. While you’ll have to make sacrifices as a parent, that doesn’t mean you have to shelf all of your needs until your children leave the nest. 

In this article, we’ll help you find joy, happiness, and fulfillment as a single mama. 

Accepting That You’re a Single Parent

Whether you became widowed or divorced, granted sole custody or partial custody, or have understanding friends or judgy family members, it can be hard to accept that you’re a single parent.

Society has a lot of hang-ups about single parenthood, but no matter what they are or their reason for judging you, they’re wrong. Being a single parent isn’t a moral failing, and no one who doesn’t know you has the right to tell you who you should be, or what you should do with your life. Heck, even the people who know you may be way off base with their judgments of you.

To find happiness, you need to find acceptance. Accepting that you’re a single parent, regardless of why you’re one, can go a long way in improving your mental health.

And there are a lot of positives to single parenthood, including:

  • The freedom to decide what’s best for your children.
  • The ability to offer your children your undivided attention.
  • The position of being a great role model for your children.
  • The ability to teach your children responsibility and independence.
  • The opportunity to provide positive parenting beyond gender roles.

In an ideal situation, a loving partner would be in the picture. But when they aren’t, that doesn’t mean you and your children can’t find happiness together in this wild world.

How to Stay Happy as a Single Mother

There are many struggles faced by single moms, including financial challenges, fatigue, and emotional challenges. But these tips will help you stay happy despite all of that.

Set Your Priorities Straight

Getting your priorities straight can help you understand what really matters to you. If your happiness is a high priority, then you’ll probably be more likely to seek out what makes you and your children smile. Do your best to hold on to everything important to you and your children. 

Don’t Get Swayed By Others Opinions 

There are some ride-or-die friends or genuinely concerned family members that you might want to listen to, but don’t be swayed by toxic people or strangers. Even if their opinion sounds correct, you should always ask for proof or, failing that, do your own research before changing. 

Be Yourself

There are right and wrongs in parenting. We’d be lying if we told you otherwise, but most things aren’t set in stone. Staying true to yourself means relying on your maternal instincts and not blindly following the suggestions of others. Remember to research other people’s opinions!

Get Out of the House

It’s okay to hire a trusted babysitter or pay a friend or family member to watch your kids while you enjoy a night out. You need to get out for your mental health and well-being, and letting loose doesn’t mean you don’t love your children. Staying cooped up isn’t the way to go. 

Set Personal Goals 

Setting personal goals can keep you motivated. Whether you want to go on a vacation or cook at home more often, staying ambitious can increase happiness. While it’s important to focus on your child, it also isn’t good to revolve your entire life around them. You’re your own person.

Practice Self-Care

Develop self-care habits to keep you sane during your busiest moments. You could adopt a skincare routine or find a few minutes to read or nap. Or, better yet, start up one of your hobbies again! If you have the time, you could even explore new activities to enjoy.

Ask for Help

Never be afraid to ask for help, whether it’s from a loved one or a professional. There are many government programs that offer free classes or stipends to new single mothers. And if you don’t have a good friend in your life, take the time to find one via online apps or offline meetings. 

In Conclusion… 

Being a single mother is complex, but your mood can help bring things into perspective. The happier you are, the easier it will be to handle whatever life throws at you and your child.

This doesn’t mean that you have to keep a happy face when things get tough. It’s healthy to speak to your friends, family, or a professional when smiling isn’t easy. If those options aren’t accessible, you can always try journaling! Anything to get negative feelings out of your head!

When all else fails, do your best to be kind to yourself. The world is already filled with nay-sayers and mean people. Don’t spend your energy beating yourself up for what they say. 

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How Far Along Actually Am I? The difference between gestational age & fetal age.

By Nadine Westwood

Nadine is a health coach and writer who helps her clients achieve phenomenal and sustainable results by combining nutrition, fitness and fun! She believes primarily in living a happy life, and that the backbone of any lifestyle is that it must be sustainable and enjoyable.

Having an estimate for when you’re going to deliver your baby is very important for growing families. Not only does it help you get everything prepared before you take maternity leave,  but it can also ensure that you receive optimal prenatal care.

With that said it can be confusing to determine your baby’s age, especially considering healthcare professionals will use terms like gestational age and fetal age interchangeably. 

In this guide, we’ll show you the differences between gestational and fetal age and how to calculate both. We’ll also help you determine your due date based on those calculations. 

What is Gestational Age?

Gestational age describes how far along a pregnancy is and is measured in weeks. To determine the gestational age, you would count how many weeks it’s been since the first day of your last period. If your last period started four weeks ago, then the gestational age is four weeks.

A full-length pregnancy ranges from 39 to 40 weeks. However, any baby born before 37 weeks is considered premature, and any baby born after 42 weeks is considered postmature. 

It’s important to note that gestational age is considered more accurate than fetal age, but it can’t always determine the exact age of your developing baby. Variations in ovulation, changes in menstrual cycles, and poor menstrual cycle recall can impact your gestational age calculation. 

However, if you’re interested in getting the most accurate gestational age and due date, an ultrasound scan is the best method for this, especially when done during the first trimester.

While fetal age and gestational age are often used interchangeably, they aren’t the same thing. 

What is Fetal Age?

According to the experts at Flo, fetal age represents the “growing baby’s actual age.” As the fetal age is counted from the moment of conception, it’s 14 days less than the gestational age, but only if you have a regular 28-day menstrual cycle. Fetal age is less precise than gestational age, as it’s difficult or sometimes impossible to know the exact moment conception occurs.

As the fetal age is 14 days less than the gestational age, you could determine fetal age by subtracting two weeks from your gestational age. 

How Do You Determine Gestational or Fetal Age? 

The easiest way to determine gestational age is by remembering or tracking your menstrual cycle before conception. From there, you can determine fetal age by subtracting 14 days from your gestational age, as stated. But what if you haven’t been tracking your menstrual cycle? Or, what if you want a more accurate way to determine your baby’s age before and after birth?

If you conceived naturally (sexual intercourse), here’s how to determine a baby’s age: 

If you’ve conceived by in vitro fertilization (IVF), then an ultrasound and after-birth measurements are still effective for determining gestational and fetal age. 

However, instead of using the day of your last period to roughly calculate gestational age, you would use the date of insemination or embryo transfer. 

If the baby’s age matches the calendar age, they’re determined to be appropriate for gestational age (AGA). Whether conceived naturally or via IVF, babies born of the AGA will usually weigh between 5.5 lbs (2.5 kg) and 8.75 lbs (4 kg) at birth. 

How Do You Determine Your Due Date?

To determine your due date, you’ll use many of the same calculations already mentioned in this article, except you’ll add specific numbers to estimate when you’ll likely give birth. Keep in mind that it’s nearly impossible to determine an accurate due date, as we can’t tell the future.

With that said, here’s how to estimate your due date if you conceived naturally:

  • Calculate From the Date of Your Last Menstrual Period (LMP): From the date of your LMP, add 40 weeks, as that’s the middle number between the average pregnancy range. 
  • Calculate From the Day You Conceived: From the date you conceived, add 38 weeks. As stated, it’s difficult to determine the date of conception (or fetal age), but you can track your ovulation to estimate when you likely conceived using the basal body temperature method or by tracking ovulation symptoms, like cervical mucus or pain. 

If you used egg collection and IVF, you would calculate your due date as followed:

Ask your provider to know exactly when your egg was retrieved to determine a viable due date.

In Conclusion…

While these calculations won’t determine the exact age of your baby or your due date, they can give you some indication of how far along you are. However, the more information you have on your conception date, the more accurate you’ll be when determining your baby’s growth cycle.

It also helps to use the most accurate methods to determine gestational age. This means getting an ultrasound done by an experienced tech during the first trimester.

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Barbie's Unexpected Lessons on Womanhood and Motherhood Finding ourselves in a Barbie World.

By Morgan Taylor and Blair Gyamfi | Photo courtesy of Barbie

Look, we get it. For months, we saw the color pink take over our world. So when we heard “Barbie movie,” most of us just thought of fluffy, whimsical, bright pink and glitter movie for our kids. 

But, let us tell you… it became apparent within minutes that this movie wasn’t for the enjoyment of our kids, who came dressed in various colors of pink. 

This movie was for US. 

The Barbie movie was truly a manifesto on womanhood —  it was like watching “Thelma and Louise” but with more fashion and fewer cliffs. There was a clear message that was being sent to all who watched: Women are much more than the one-size-fits-all expectation that society tries to make us. So hear us out. We think the Barbie movie was the perfect allegory for motherhood:

Barbie World is #Goals, But Then Reality Hits

You know how before kids, life was all about brunch, spontaneous trips, and moving up the corporate ladder? That’s basically Barbie World—a magical place where you can be anything. But when Barbie steps into the “real world,” she’s shook. Things got real. Fast. It’s like going from carefree brunches to endless diaper changes overnight. Your identity shifts, your priorities change, and the career you once had takes a backseat.

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The Loss of Autonomy

In this “real world,” Barbie is reduced to a stereotype, and men “rule” the world, and it hits hard. Just like when you become a mom, and suddenly you’re seen as a one-dimensional character. All this while men keep climbing the corporate ladder despite their parenting status, and we’re stuck figuring out how to balance a job, kids, and, oh, maybe some personal fulfillment.

From Accessory to Necessity

In the Barbie world, Ken is just an accessory. Cute but not crucial. The “real world,” however, flips that script. Sounds familiar? Women often go from being indispensable to being seen as supporting roles once they enter motherhood. So now, Ken’s like the center of the universe?! Seriously, no one asks dads how they juggle it all.

Time to Glow Up

Barbie returns to Barbie World, but she’s changed. Similarly, once you become a mom, you can’t just revert to your old self. You must balance your old identity with this new, all-encompassing role. It’s not easy, but it’s not impossible either.

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Redefining the Dream

At the end of the day, Barbie has seen too much and changed too much to go back to who she was before. So, she decides to be her authentic self in an imperfect world. And isn’t that the same journey we’re all on? Trying to navigate between societal norms and our own individual needs, especially as mothers? 

So, what do you think? Maybe we have a little more Barbie in us than we thought.

If this resonated with you, then you’re gonna love what we’re doing over at Moms Actually. In March 2022, we created Moms Actually with the goal of creating a space for the real, candid, and unfiltered sides of motherhood, womanhood, and everything in between. Our platform is designed to be your go-to for vulnerable and transparent discussions with other women. 

It’s important for us to spread the message that we’re more than just the labels society often assigns us. As the hosts of Moms Actually, we’re committed to the ongoing work of helping moms rediscover themselves while also challenging traditional expectations of motherhood. Our goal is to redefine what it means to be a mom, one authentic conversation at a time. 

This article was written in partnership with Moms Actually, a digital platform and motherhood community that aims to redefine motherhood and break away from the unhealthy expectations society has placed on women. Moms Actually provides spaces for women to authentically relate to each other in a society that often prioritizes appearances over genuine experiences. They host a visual podcast that addresses the experiences of womanhood, sisterhood, and motherhood through candid and transparent discussions Watch or listen on MomsActually.com, YouTube and all podcast platforms.

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By Amber Trueblood | Photo courtesty of @ amaliert

Amber Trueblood, MBA, LMFT, is a renowned author, speaker, and coach with 25 years of experience in mental health, spanning community services to personal wellness retreats. She is dedicated to empowering moms to achieve health, wealth, and happiness. Residing in San Diego with her family, Amber co-founded The M.E.C.A. Project, a 501c3 focusing on mental and emotional well-being for teens and young adults. Her book, “Stretch Marks”, led to contributions in significant publications like O: The Oprah Magazine and appearances on TV shows, including E! Daily Pop and Good Day LA.

There are a variety of factors that make it virtually impossible to maintain a healthy emotional state 100% of the time when you’re a new mom. Lack of sleep, hormonal imbalances, physical pain, insufficient nutrition, and isolation from other adults remain some of the trickier obstacles moms must navigate in their journey to improve their emotional well-being. And while all new moms deserve to feel emotionally well, they are not necessarily all wired the same way. What might stress or overwhelm one new mama may excite or soothe another.

Not only are new moms emotionally triggered differently but what soothes them differs from mom to mom. What might calm one mom’s central nervous system might amplify feelings of anxiety and overwhelm another mom. Your new baby only sleeps when she’s in your arms. This could leave one mom feeling completely drained and exhausted and leave another feeling energized and emotionally connected. It’s all okay. Understanding your own Mom Anxiety Style will allow you to more efficiently use the self-care strategies best suited for your emotional needs.

The Five Anxiety Styles 

Lover Moms

Lover Moms are all about the quality and depth of their connections to loved ones. They can feel emotionally triggered when they think a friend is upset with them or doesn’t want to spend time with them. Hearing that a partner will be home later than usual or that they cannot attend a family function across the Country can be an emotionally triggering event.

When feeling flustered or overstimulated, Lover Moms should seek time and space with people who care about them most. Spending time in nature with someone they trust can help improve the emotional well-being of someone with a lover anxiety style. Instead of going for a walk by themselves, lover moms feel safe and soothed when they’re in close proximity to the people and animals they care about most.

Lover Mom Quick Tip: The Seven-Second Hug. Ask for a seven-second (non-sexual) hug from another adult who cares about you today.

Fighter Moms

Fighter Moms are all about protecting others. They learned early on how to save themselves and often spend their time-saving others as well. Fighters are comfortable within a chaotic environment; they feel at home. It can feel so comfortable in fact, that Fighters can feel awkward, sick even, when all is calm and peaceful (because they don’t feel they can truly let down their guard and enjoy it). Luckily, new motherhood is seldom calm or peaceful.

When feeling particularly overwhelmed and stressed, Fighter Moms should reach out to help someone in need. For instance, find a domestic abuse shelter and donate time or maternity clothes. Instead of taking a relaxing bath, Fighters should reach out to another mom in need of support or help.

Fighter Mom Quick Tip: Find an organization or an individual mom in need and spend either time or resources helping them surmount a challenge of their own.

Executive Moms

Executive Moms are all about loyalty, trust and dependability. These moms thrive when they feel in control of their environment and their future. When feeling particularly stressed and overwhelmed, Executives should get organized. Moms with this anxiety style are typically the most responsible and dependable members of their families. Making time to find an app or a book to help structure their days as a new mom will help ease emotional distress. Instead of finding a homeless shelter like their Fighter Mom friends, Executives should get themselves organized and find a system that works best for them and their new baby.

Executive Mom Quick Tip: Spend 20 minutes today researching books and apps specifically meant to support new moms. If newborn sleep is an issue, check out this book by sleep expert Kim West. 

Visionary Moms

Visionary Moms are all about making their big dreams come true. These individuals thrive when connecting with other people who truly understand them. When feeling particularly stressed, Visionaries should spend time with a fellow Visionary Mom. It can be frustrating and draining to focus on the tedious details and relentless tasks of new mom life. Instead of using a scheduling app like their Executive Mom friends, Visionaries should spend time with like-minded women to improve their emotional well-being.

Visionary Mom Quick Tip: Connect with other Visionary Moms either in person, on a call or via text.

Dynamo Moms

Dynamo Moms enjoy getting acknowledgment and accomplishing tasks both large and small. These moms thrive when they feel like they’re making progress and receiving accolades for their hard work. Unfortunately, it’s difficult to feel like you’re making progress when you have a newborn because everything you do just has to be repeated every 2-3 hours. Dynamo Moms should work on a passion project or hobby.  Instead of connecting with other moms like their Visionary Mom friends, Dynamos should do something they love in order to improve their emotional well-being.

Dynamo Mom Quick Tip: Choose one passion project and spend twenty minutes working on it (or even just thinking about it) today.

Using The Five Anxiety Styles approach is one way new moms can improve their emotional well-being. Whether you’re a Lover, Fighter, Executive, Visionary or Dynamo Mom, you can more easily calm your nervous system when you focus on your particular emotional style. When you feel calmer and more fulfilled, you’ll likely find that you feel better, focus better, sleep better, work better and feel more connected to friends and family. You deserve to improve your emotional well-being and your baby deserves an emotionally healthy mama. 

For a deeper dive into anxiety styles, see The Unflustered Mom on Audible.

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Can I Do A Crunch In My First Trimester? And other questions I have about fitness in the first trimester.

By Ruthie Friedlander

As autumn leaves fall, there’s an unmistakable buzz in the air. It’s the season of cozy sweaters, pumpkin spice lattes, and… fitness resolutions. Yep, Fall has an uncanny way of making us want to start new habits, whether reading a book a month or finding a new workout routine we’ll stick to. 

But if you’re rocking a baby bump this season, your usual squat jumps and pilates might raise some eyebrows – and even your own internal alarms. “Can I even do a crunch while I’m pregnant?” you wonder, gazing at your ever-growing belly.

Welcome to the first trimester, where every motion comes with a side of second-guessing. But before you swap your sneakers for slippers and relegate your gym bag to the back of the closet, let’s dive into the “do’s” and “don’ts” of first-trimester fitness. With insights from Megan Johnson – an LA-based ACE Certified Trainer specializing in pre-and postnatal corrective exercises – we’re here to help you navigate the sweaty, sometimes confusing terrain of first-trimester workouts.

And don’t worry, we’ve got that crunch question covered, along with a few other queries you didn’t even know you had.

Crunches

“As a trainer, I don’t advise crunches for anybody, especially women in their first trimester. We want to avoid “coning” of the abs. Crunches can put excess stress on the rectus abdominis, which can put you at risk for diastasis recti. There are so many ways to strengthen the core that goes beyond a crunch!”

Pro Tip: Train your transverse abdominals and pelvic floor. Breathing techniques and exercises that target your transverse abs and pelvic floor will be beneficial not only during pregnancy but also assist you in your labor and postpartum journey. 

Running

“Running can absolutely be safe during your first trimester if you are accustomed to running before pregnancy.”

Pro Tip: Listen to your body and be mindful that you may need more breaks than you were adjusted to before pregnancy! 

Yoga

Yoga can be safely done in your first trimester. Check for an instructor who specializes in Prenatal Yoga. They will know how to modify the practice based on your needs. 

Pro Tip: Due to your elevated core temperature in your first trimester, hot yoga is NOT RECOMMENDED. 

Pilates

Pilates is a fantastic way to improve core strength, posture, and mobility during pregnancy.  

Pro Tip: During your first trimester, your body produces Relaxin — a hormone responsible for relaxing the joints and making the joints less stable. You want to make sure you’re not stretching or doing any movements up to your maximal point of flexibility during this time to reduce your risk for injury.

HITT

HITT workouts can be safe for momma during the first trimester. 

Pro Tip: Avoid any quick lateral movements and balancing exercises that can put you at risk of falling. Due to the increase in blood volume during your first trimester, you can find that standing still while doing a single exercise can make you feel dizzy or lightheaded. That’s why incorporating dynamic movements can be beneficial for momma. Listen to your body and take breaks if needed! Use the Rate of Perceived Exertion (RPE) to help determine what is best for your body during this time. 

No matter which type of exercise you choose to do during pregnancy, please note to stay HYDRATED! Drinking two glasses of water for every hour of exercise is recommended. Dehydration is the leading cause of preterm labor, so remember to keep that water bottle handy, Momma!

Learn more from Megan Johnson and her Pre and Post-Natal Workout Series.

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My Unexpected Journey to Empowering Breastfeeding Parents "I definitely was not going to breastfeed."

By Morgan Dixon | Photo by Thammy Leo

Morgan Dixon is Head of Community at Swehl, a Lactation Specialist and mother of two. She is running an IRL Swehl event, “How the F to Breastfeed”, on September 27th @ 5pm at the HATCH Brentwood store.

Before having kids, I knew one thing was for sure–when that time came, I definitely was not going to breastfeed. Pain and bleeding and being all-consumed? Hard pass. I had so many friends who had given birth around the same time I became pregnant with my first, and the overarching theme was judgment around breastfeeding–not only from themselves but also from the people who were supposed to be there to support and educate them.

A few months later, newly postpartum and VERY much to my surprise–I immediately fell in love with breastfeeding. It was not my typical MO to lean into self-trust, but for some reason, I leaned in and let my intuition guide me to silence the noise. We quickly fell into a rhythm and breastfeeding became a transformative experience that solidified my calling to help other parents have a more autonomous and individualized experience postpartum. That year, I went back to school to study lactation to provide judgment-free support.

Here’s the thing–breastfeeding can be intense, painful, and *a lot*, but with the right support system and education, we can avoid so many hurdles. No matter what stories you’ve heard, your breastfeeding journey will be unique to you and your baby. My goal is to give you some tools to go into it prepared, so that when things feel overwhelming–which they inevitably will–you’re able to reach into that metaphorical (and literal *Sweh’s Latch Kit*) toolkit to pull out whatever you need in that moment to tap back into your intuition and self-trust. The great news? You have total autonomy on how you choose to feed your child, whether exclusive breastfeeding, bottle feeding, combo feeding, or exclusively formula. Allowing yourself to flow with it and not tie yourself to any particular outcome is the key, and what I’ve found to be one of the most empowering parts of postpartum. 

Talking about this stuff is my jam. I’ll teach you how to do that, plus a whole lot more. Here are my top five things to know before you start your journey,

Frequency of feeding

Repeat after me– “8 or more in 24”. Within 24 hours, you want to make sure you breastfeed your newborn *at least* 8 times, ideally for 15-20 mins on each breast. Now, I believe more is more, and you cannot breastfeed your baby too much–so feed as often as you’d like! Some babies can be extra sleepy, and getting them to stay awake for 30-40 min feeds is tricky; this is when more frequent feeding, even for shorter spurts, can be helpful.

Diaper Checks

Monitoring your baby’s wet diapers is a great way to keep an eye on proper milk intake and hydration. For the first six days of life, there should be one wet pee diaper for every day of life i.e., five wet diapers on Day 5, etc. After Day 6, you should expect to see six or more a day moving forward. If you notice your baby is not peeing frequently, it’s a great time to check in with your pediatrician. 

Supply & Demand

Breastmilk is a supply and demand sitch: the more you breastfeed, the more you will produce. I am a fan of on-demand feeding in the early weeks as it allows your baby to dictate how much milk they need. Another hot tip? Never go more than 3 hours without feeding your baby or expressing milk–at least in the early days. 

Breastmilk is alive

It is a custom form of nutrition for your baby, packed with minerals, fats, antibodies, and literally everything else your baby needs. Every time your baby breastfeeds, your body will analyze their saliva and create the exact nutritional complex they need for their next feeding. If they are sick, your milk will adjust to give specific antibodies and help mend them. *mind blown*

Engorgement Happens

Around 48-72 hours postpartum, you might notice your boobs feel like they are filled with concrete. Do not be alarmed! You are engorged, i.e., your milk is transitioning from colostrum to mature milk, which is much more hydrating (cue more wet diapers). Engorgement can feel intense; if needed, hand expression is enough to feel relief between feedings. I don’t recommend pumping as it can create oversupply. Warm showers, light massage, and compresses can be helpful to relieve discomfort. The good news is that–like all things in the chapter, it is temporary!

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Nikki's List! Everything You Need Before Your 2nd Baby Arrives

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With another one on the way, I am really thinking through what I actually need as I prepare to welcome baby number 2. So, this is happening in real time vs. based on experience. But, I did tap some mom friends that gave me their insights. Here, I’ve put together a list of all the non-negotiables that you’ll need as your second one arrives!

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