As the purveyors of all things pregnancy (obvi), you can imagine the thrill when one of our very own is expecting, and even more so when it’s two! 

Nikki Millman, our VP of Community + Events, is expecting her first, and Lindsay Bressler, our COO, her second. These two powerhouses (literally, we couldn’t do it without them) sound off about all things baby-making before going on maternity leave (gulp, we’ll miss them). 

Here, they talk all the things: Pregnancy sex (yay or nay?), leaning into the HATCH community, feeling supported, planning not planning, managing anxiety, “lightning crotch” (yup, that’s a thing), and of course, what they’re wearing daily. 

Current state of mind?

Nikki: I love being pregnant outside of the nausea and my HUGE boobs! It’s really made me appreciate my body in a way that I didn’t before. I’ve had various body issues throughout my life, but with pregnancy, a lot of that fell to the wayside. It’s allowed me to let go and accept my body for how amazing it truly is…I mean, we can grow humans, after all!

Lindsay: From the start, this has been the opposite experience than with my daughter, Taylor, wherein I barely felt pregnant and was doing Forward Space dance classes until the very end! This time, I’ve had severe nausea, pelvic pain, gestational diabetes, and insomnia! I don’t know if it’s because I’m older or there’s a global pandemic, but it’s been entirely different either way.

Pregnancy journey?

Nikki: At the time, the process felt long, but my husband, Evan, continually reminds me that we only focused on trying for 4 to 5 months. Therefore, I have to be realistic when I tell my story, knowing that in the grand scheme of things, that’s not long at all; looking back, we were very fortunate. 

Evan had been diagnosed with a varicocele (read his full story here) in his 20s. Therefore, when we didn’t get pregnant in the first few months of trying, rather than wait, we sought help quickly and decided to remedy the issue with a relatively easy surgery months before the pandemic. I truly believe the universe was looking after us, and time was on our side; if we had held off having the surgery or even getting a doctor’s opinion, we probably wouldn’t be pregnant now. Unfortunately, I know so many people who had to pause their fertility treatments due to Covid-19. Our timing was pristine; Evan had the surgery in December, I ovulated on the 12th of March, we got pregnant, and the next day, the world went into lockdown.  

Thankfully, being part of a community of amazing pregnant women and experts that cultivate openness made talking about fertility the norm and easier to navigate. Likewise, it was also challenging and all-consuming to have my work life revolve around pregnancy when we were trying. At times it was hard not to feel like I was waiting for the water to boil, but I believe, in the end, all the challenges and hardships have only served to prepare me for the next big thing.

Lindsay: With my first, while my husband wasn’t fully on-board with having a baby, I convinced him that I’d casually go off the pill and if we weren’t pregnant in three months, I would read an article and be more proactive. However, 30 days later, I called him at his office to let him know we were pregnant! His response was one of disbelief, “Congratulations?” Confused, I said, “Congrats to you too?” It was this hilarious and awkward moment between us wherein neither of us knew how to react as the whole thing took us by surprise.

When I started working at HATCH four years ago, Taylor was six months old. Since then, the business has been growing so much, we purposely held off having a second as I wanted the limited time I had at home with Taylor to be focused on her. However, just as she turned 3.5 years old, we decided to have a second. Then, Covid hit, and the world spun out of control, so we naturally put “trying” on the back-burner.

Of course, Nikki and I had joked for years that we’d get pregnant at the same time with no expectation that it would EVER happen. But, as fate would have it, a few weeks into lockdown, Nikki called to share that she was expecting, and three days after, I got a push notification from the FLOW app saying I was nine days late! Heads down in the business and trying to organize moving our family to my mom’s, the last thing I was thinking about was getting pregnant. Nevertheless, I took a test and found out I was, in fact, expecting!

Working at HATCH and feeling supported?

Nikki: Having been at HATCH since day one (literally), my job, in so many ways, has made me feel ready to be a mom for over 10 years. While a little daunting at first to have access to so much information, it’s been a gift. Ultimately, this is what we’re all about here at HATCH; helping women navigate this confusing, crazy, and often lonely time while making sure they have access to resources, friends, experts, and the community at large so they don’t have to feel they are going at it solo or uninformed.

Overall I keep coming back to how lucky I am to have the best doctors, a roof over my head, food on the table, and a supportive team. With so many women giving birth worldwide in less than ideal circumstances, I’m beyond fortunate to have everything I need.

Lindsay: We are like a family in so many ways. There’s so much understanding in every way, from doctor’s appointments to funny little moments like being on Zoom and declaring I have to stand up to “stretch my pelvis,” and no one flinches. There’s a real sense of camaraderie in that nothing feels super weird, and it’s entirely normal to talk about pregnancy all day.

Wearing and wellness? 

Nikki: Love the HATCH High Tuck Brief, I wear them all day, everyday, (not the same pair, I have multiples:). I’m not a body con person but underneath I like to feel supported and tucked in.

Plus, I’ve never wanted to moisturize more than I do now. I’m obsessed with our Belly Oil, (Seriously, no plug), it makes a world of difference, and I use it all over my body. I also love to dry brush 4 to 5 times a week before I get in the shower to improve circulation. Lastly, I bought one of those massive 80 oz water bottles from Amazon and drink water all day long which helps with charley horses.

Lindsay: I think it’s safe to say that the pandemic trend is basically the best thing to happen to pregnant women, ever, seeing as you can wear casual, cozy stuff all day long. I live for our Cozy Waffle Dresses, our Bras and Undies, and Cotton Pajamas. Plus, I try to have a ton of fun with shoes, like Doc Martens with dresses. Also, I love our Belly Oil and put it all over my body and even in my bath water, which I never did before.

Birth plan?

Nikki: I’m super conscious about everything that goes into or near my body from food to Advil and even our cleaning supplies, but I’m pretty sure I want an epidural. I don’t want to be in labor for 36 hours, dehydrated, and in pain, so if the epidural can help ease delivery, I’m down.

Also, with gestational diabetes, there’s a chance they will have to induce me because I can’t go past my due date. While I don’t love this idea, I’m game for anything so long as it keeps the baby healthy.

Lindsay: Not a massive plan outside of having my doula there and getting to the hospital on time. Nikki and I are using the same doula, Sam Huggins, from Carriage House, and she’s incredibly supportive! I’ve been working with her on strengthening my pelvic floor leading up to my due date. Plus, I have been seeing a chiropractor every other week and working out regularly.

Diagnosed with gestational diabetes?

Nikki: They have no idea where it comes from as there doesn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason. Obviously, people with pre-existing conditions are more prone to get it, whereas the other percentage is unknown. From what I understand, it’s basically how your placenta reacts to sugar with a baby inside of you. Apparently, I’m on the cusp of having it, but they often over-diagnose to be cautious.

Cravings, much?

Nikki: In my non-pregnant life, I eat super clean food, and I’m mainly pescatarian. But now, I can’t even look at a piece of fish and only want chicken, meat, cheese, and coffee…things I haven’t had in years! It’s so weird, but you have to go with what you’re craving. With gestational diabetes, I have to eat a balanced mix of carbs, proteins, and vegetables altogether. After each meal, I have to prick my finger to check my blood sugar levels, and when I eat chicken, my levels are low, which is great, so I’m going with it.

To sex or not to sex?

Nikki: Yup, no sex. None. We tried, but sadly, I have no interest, and I’m really nauseous. Evan jokes that he hasn’t gone this long without sex since he was single! It’s ironic because leading up to getting pregnant, it’s all about sex, then it completely flips and sex is replaced with a giant pillow in bed.

Lindsay: I mean, barely. This pregnancy, in particular, has been so physically draining, and I’m nauseous all day. Plus, I have been having lightning crotch, which feels exactly like it sounds. The last thing I want to do is go home and have sex with my husband after having lightning crotch all day! You get it.

One hope?

Nikki: I hope we can come together. Building our HATCH community has been so rewarding and given me such powerful insight; I’m aware of what it means to come together, be unified, and support one another. The world needs the same message and this is my hope.

Lindsay: On the eve of our election, it’s hard to put one hope into words. Mainly, I think this generation will be so resilient. Being uprooted during the pandemic and asked to wear a mask out of nowhere, I’m amazed at how well our children are coping. But I also think they’re getting such a balanced view on what’s truly important and I hope they take these learnings with them in life.

Sage advice?

Nikki: Two things, there’s a happy medium between knowing too much, and feeling prepared. My doula and a long-time HATCH partner, Sam Huggins of Carriage House, gave me such great advice early on. She said, “Feel it, think it, and then put in on the shelf.” I found myself worrying about worrying, and then if something actually went wrong, I would worry again. All in, it was a lot of worrying, and the truth is it doesn’t get you anywhere. So, give yourself permission to be anxious or nervous for a bit, but at some point, put it aside.

Also, do something that makes you happy every day. Even if that just means dancing in your living room for two minutes. Endorphins make everything better.

Thoughtful, funny, and kind, Julee is a beacon of positivity. Recently named the first Black Beauty Director at Cosmo (oh, no big deal), Julee is pregnant with her second and pretty much as epic as they come.

This rockstar mama shares her path to pregnancy from multiple miscarriages to quarantine baby, and why Zoom-life might be the perfect pregnancy life (hello, chest-up world). Plus, learning to trust her body, raising children that feel free, and sneaking in self-care throughout the day (oil up, baby!) 

How are you feeling?

Compared to my last, it all feels so new; it’s been six years since we had our son, which is almost enough time to forget how it felt. While I’m certainly having moments of deja vu, so much has changed since then, even technology (the baby monitors are so fancy now!). Plus, we don’t know the sex of the baby, which makes it extra exciting.

What was the pregnancy journey?

Initially, we wanted to keep the “parenting window” short (as my husband likes to say), but life got in the way, and I was naive. After we had our son, I pregnancy for granted, assuming that I could snap my fingers and be pregnant at will, which wasn’t the case. Or rather, I could get pregnant; I just couldn’t stay pregnant.

Last year, we had two confirmed pregnancies. I went to the doctor for each, heard their hearts’ beat, and at 12 weeks, we lost them both; the first in March and the second in October.

Heartbroken and depressed, after back to back miscarriages, we decided to pause for a while to breathe and reset. Plus, I didn’t love my job and was having to commute, which added to my stress. Then I got a new job (hello, Cosmo!) just before Covid hit, so with all the change and uncertainty, we assumed we weren’t going to have a child this year. But you know how these quarantine nights go…one evening, we lost track of ourselves, and it happened, totally unplanned!

Your experience with miscarriage?

The first one, I passed at home, and the second one, I went to the doctor, and she no longer heard the heartbeat. With the second, my options were to do a D&C (Dilation and curettage) or take the medication to bleed at home. I chose to take the medication because I didn’t want to have a procedure. I’ve never had surgery or even broken a bone, so I was scared. Plus, I had already bled at home with my first miscarriage, so I was familiar with how that felt. I had to take two rounds of medication because it didn’t all come out, but in the end, this was the best path for me.

Did you wait to share the news?

After so much loss, we were cautious about announcing to anyone outside of our family. I waited to tell my boss and friends until I was 25 weeks to ensure the pregnancy was super viable.

Excitingly, my sister is pregnant too! She is about four weeks ahead of me and has been my rock through the pandemic and my miscarriages. Neither of us shared our pregnancies with the world, but we had each other and would FaceTime serval times a day. I was able to call her after throwing up all morning, and it helped stave off some of the loneliness of quarantine.

Of course, being home made it easier to keep a secret. I wasn’t out in the street or at work; no one was seeing me. By the time that I came out, I had a massive bump! With these Zoom calls, this is a chest-up-world, so no one suspected a thing, even though the second I got off a Zoom call, I would run to the bathroom to throw-up!

Did you have morning sickness?

Terrible. The worst. I was severely sick with my son until 18 weeks, lost 16 pounds, and was on Zofran. This time I hoped it would be different, but unfortunately, the same: sick until 17 weeks, on Zofran, and lost about 14 pounds! I could not eat, was nauseous all day, and throwing up all the time even though I wasn’t eating. I thought I was going crazy, and my only solace was sleep. Therefore, it was nice to be working from home with quarantine to take naps when I needed to get through it. Fortunately, I’m better now.

By the time work knew I was pregnant, the sickness had subsided. It was wild, though; I had just started this epic, iconic new job, and needed to be present, which took everything in me to do. It was vital for me to demonstrate that I could do my job at the highest level and be an asset to the company. I was keen to prove I was a rockstar before announcing that I had been doing this job for six months while also growing a human! It’s not lost on me that I am the first Black Beauty Director in Cosmo’s history. Knowing this adds a whole other level of pressure in a good way. I am responsible for proudly representing Black women; I wasn’t going to add an asterisk to my hiring with this pregnancy.

Will you take maternity leave?

I’m a little nervous as I’m just getting my footing around the ethos of Cosmo only to be stepping away to take care of my baby. At the same time, everyone is home now, so I think it will be fine. I’m an advocate of people taking their full maternity leave to check out, take care of themselves and their baby; you can never get that precious time back to bond with your child. But, I’m also someone who loves their job; I find joy in what I do and have worked hard to get here. That said, my team at Cosmo are rockstars, and I’m not worried at all. While not micro-managing from afar, I hope to stay in the loop as much as possible on the big picture stuff because I love it; I have a dope job!

Beauty and selfcare routine?

I have been leaning into beauty like never before because I can do so much more now while being home. To start, I’m an oil freak! I know you can’t prevent stretch marks, but I am rubbing this belly with oil like crazy just in case. I use everything from a Rosehip seed oil to HATCH Belly Oil and one from Klur that is Black-owned and amazing. Plus, I take a lot of baths because that feels good on my joints after sitting on my bed all day working. Lastly, I have been masking a lot during the day. I mean, I can have a whole clay mask on my face or pimple stickers while on calls, and no one is the wiser! It’s brilliant. 

Cravings, much?

I had a gestational diabetes scare but just found out that I don’t actually have it. I am fine, but it was a real wake up call for me, so I’m going to stick to fewer carbs, and less sugar to be more healthy over all.

Otherwise, I have been craving ice cream, popcorn, lots of warm teas and soups, plus Caesar salad, pineapple, and grapefruit. Plus, anything salty like collard greens with ham hocks or ribs. I’m a foodie in real life, which only amplifies while pregnant, especially after not eating for three months!

Podcasts?

I used to have my own when I was at Essence Magazine called The Color Files and would love to start another one at Cosmo, but until then, I listen to NY Times The Daily, Fat Mascara, and Beauty Needs Me.

Reading?

So many magazines (because that’s what I do) plus I listen to books on Audible. I just finished The Chiffon Trenches: A Memoir by Andre Leon Talley and The Plaza. I’m a big fan of non-fiction, I want the real stuff.

One Hope?

It’s been incredible to see our non-Black allies step up and be a part of the movement. Black Lives Matter is just another iteration of the civil rights movement and the revolt against slavery before that. We have been fighting for our freedom for as long as forever; it’s nothing new. But to now see more and more people beyond our community stepping up, raising their voices, and putting their lives, reputations, and jobs on the line show me we are moving toward a more unified front in this fight.

Therefore, my hope is to raise my two Black children in a world where they can feel as free as possible, and right now, that’s not a given. While ecstatic to be pregnant and have another child, I also have trepidation and fear to bring another Black person into a world that doesn’t celebrate them in the way they deserve to be celebrated. We fight for that sense of joy for our son and will do the same for our baby. It’s a worry but also a fantastic honor.