Babywearing: Not Just Good for Baby There are some serious benefits for you, too, mama.
By By Nicole Newhouse | Photos by Solly Baby
Nicole Newhouse is the CEO of Solly Baby. She lives in Eagle, ID, with her husband and her daughter, Ella.
It’s no secret that babywearing can be a valuable tool in boosting your bond with baby. The minutes and hours spent nestled up heart to heart—soothed by each other’s beating chests and breathing in one another’s familiar scents—build your connection at warp speed, even as you wash dishes or tend to other siblings.
Wearing your baby in a wrap or carrier is also known to reduce infant crying by up to 43% (!), relieve gas and colic, reduce postpartum depression, and increase breastfeeding success and duration. All incredible and invaluable benefits that deserve to be shouted from the rooftops!
But there’s more to it than that. There’s a certain magic to babywearing that the studies don’t quite convey. It’s one of those things IYKYK, but if you don’t, you might not give babywearing much thought. But trust me, mama, it’s a level of life-changing you don’t want to miss.
Babywearing boosts your confidence.
And not just because you can use a long piece of fabric to affix baby to your body expertly. Or masterfully reach behind your head to connect a buckle between your shoulder blades. (Though those are impressive feats, indeed.)
Babywearing makes you feel like you know what you’re doing. Like you’re equipped to take care of your baby. (Which you are!) It’s like having the voice inside your head confidently whispering, “You’ve got this.” And that’s the assurance we could all use a little more of, right?
It’s rare to find a baby who doesn’t love being snuggled close to their mama, which means when you’re wearing them, they’re likely happy, content, and often dozy. Nothing will make you feel like you’re rocking your new role the way having your baby settled in and sleeping on your chest will—whether you’re at home tackling that mountain of laundry or strolling Target, adding things to your cart as casually as you do while online window shopping. (What is it about that place?)
Babywearing restores your freedom.
Being nap-trapped on the sofa is not the worst (so sweet! so cozy!) until it is (too much scrolling! need to pee! also hungry!). Imagine enjoying all the snuggles of a contact nap while being free to move about the cabin. Eat your lunch. Fetch the mail. Go to the bathroom. (It’s a maternal rite of passage to use the loo with a baby aboard.)
You can walk, do a light workout, or organize the pantry. The world becomes your oyster! Plus, because the baby has their No. 1 right there the whole time, they’ll likely maximize their nap time, so you might even get to that baby book hanging over your head.
Babywearing minimizes awkward social situations.
Maybe it’s cold and flu and RSV and every other bug season. Perhaps your baby has separation anxiety. Perhaps you have separation anxiety. It doesn’t matter the reason—if you’re not comfortable playing past the baby, you get to make that call, mama.
You can always tell Aunt Edna “no” when she reaches for your little cherub or ask the well-meaning stranger at the grocery to kindly not touch your baby’s face. But if you’d rather avoid the stressful scenario, babywearing is a solid bet. Just wrap your little one before arriving at the family gathering (or produce aisle), and be pleasantly surprised by how the subtle “hands off” message is universally understood.
Babywearing makes outings possible.
There’s that Target above trip. Coffee with your girlfriends. Dinner dates with your partner. All is made possible by the baby having you in close proximity (while still having your hands free to feed yourself). And since the baby will likely be content for longer, you might even find time to order dessert—or put back half the items in your shopping cart.
From a mobility standpoint, babywearing while you’re out and about is a no-brainer. From outdoor walks to visits inside favorite small shops, navigating uneven terrain or slipping through narrow aisles while babywearing is never an issue the way it sometimes is with an unwieldy stroller. Things like escalators and subway rides are easier, too, since there’s no need to locate an elevator or worry that it will be out of service.
Although it can seem intimidating at first—or like you have to be a certain kind of mom to do it—the truth is that babywearing is doable, accessible, and enjoyable for just about everyone. With the suitable wrap or carrier (it’s worth finding one you and baby both love), it can be a game-changer for that first year of parenthood and beyond.
How I Created a Hyper-Personalized Maternity Wardrobe
By Nadine Westwood
As a mother of two beautiful children and a bun in the oven, I know how difficult it is to find clothes that fit your changing shapes. My first pregnancy made me forgo the idea of style in favor of comfort, but it also made me wonder if there was a better way.
My second pregnancy sent me on a quest to find and design a special, comfortable, and stylish wardrobe that fits me well. This time, I decided that settling for JUST cozy was not an option.
Why?
Because I realized a stylish outfit uplifts my mood and makes me feel visible. It was my way of rebelling against the notion that expecting moms should fade into the background. And trust me, if someone who could barely match socks (yep, me) can find a way to navigate fashion amidst bottle feeds and diaper changes, anyone can.
For my third run, I mastered the art of creating looks that are all about ease without sacrificing my vibe. Plus, let’s be real – getting compliments at playdates or grocery runs does wonders for your self-esteem!
So, if you’re ready to ditch those baggy sweatpants for well-fitted jeans, I’m here to help you find chic and comfortable items that suit your evolving silhouette.
Base Layer Essentials: Building Your Personal Style Foundation
The base layer’s main job is to provide extra insulation and wick the moisture away from your skin. As the baby grows and your hormones change, you may sweat more or become more sensitive to temperature changes, but an adequate base layer will keep you comfortable.
So, even if you can’t wait to put together a maternity wardrobe that’s tailored to your style, you first need to find a few essential and versatile pieces you’ll reach for day after day.
Let’s talk about long tanks first – they’re the undercover heroes of layering for those mamas who want to stay covered as the baby grows. If you can’t wait to show off your bump, regular body tanks will do as well (or you can just lift up the long ones).
Look for soft, stretchy materials that feel good against your skin. The key is comfort and ease, so anything fussy isn’t going to cut it.
For personalization purposes, go for colors that suit your daily life. Neutrals are your best friend for versatility, but a pop of color is always a great way to brighten your mood. The fun part about a long tank is that you can wear it as it is or layer different lengths on top of it and design a stylish outfit.
Leggings are another absolute must when you’re pregnant. Not only do they fit at stages when nothing else does, but they’re also comfortable before, during, and after pregnancy. Aim for buttery-soft fabrics but also durable enough not to wear thin after repeated use.
Elevate them by pairing them under longer tops or dresses that showcase your style – think vibrant tunics, cozy oversized sweaters, or even button-downs left open over a form-fitting tank dress.
The last piece that’s a must-have in your pregnancy wardrobe is the everyday dress. You want a design that stretches and moves with you, no matter your trimester. You can make this dress the go-to item for warm and hot days when you want to feel comfy and stylish, so choose a color that brightens your mood and fits your skin tone.
Accessorize with a lightweight scarf or flashy belt above the bump to define your shape and add a hint of personality.
Personalization From Top to Bottom
Once you have your base layer essentials, you can start thinking more about personalization from top to bottom. We put together a few pieces with additional personalization tips that will have you smiling when you open the closet in the morning.
Tees with Personality
Simple tees become your canvas for expression during pregnancy. If you want simplicity, look for tees with a touch of detail, like a boat neck or a curved hem, to give some oomph to the basics.
For bolder outfits, embrace interesting patterns and vivid colors. Anything that resonates with your current mood and helps you feel good about yourself will do.
Draped Tops for Comfort & Style
Flowy tops are your ally. They skim rather than cling and add an air of sophistication. Find pieces with interesting necklines or asymmetrical cuts, as these features keep it exciting without sacrificing any comfort.
Choose solid colors to match the items already in your wardrobe, or select bold prints to stand out.
Hoodies & Outer Layers
Hoodies and cardigans are not staples of elegance, but they are cozy and warm. As your belly gets bigger, you may find yourself reaching out for your favorite hoodie or cardigan, and that’s absolutely normal.
Customize them by adding patches, embroidery, or even changing out drawstrings for ribbons – small changes have a big impact when it comes to reflecting who you are. You can even create hoodies that suit your current state of mind and use them to tell your story without having to open your mouth.
Maternity Jeans and Pants
Jeans are a must-have item in every wardrobe, but they’re not exactly the most flexible option when it comes to maternity. Luckily, during the first stage of your pregnancy, you’ll find a wide range of styles with varying belly panel designs.
The fun part is that you can turn them into a little DIY project and make them unique. There are plenty of decorations you can stitch or apply on jeans, so don’t be shy! You’ll only wear them for a couple of months, so why not make it memorable?
Once jeans no longer feel comfortable, it’s time for stretchy pants. Look for elegant designs in vibrant hues like cobalt blue or olive green to brighten up your wardrobe.
Accessorizing – The Finishing Touches of Your Personal Style
Once you’ve got the clothing basics down, it’s time to dive into accessorizing. You want to add pizzazz without compromising on ease and functionality.
Here are a few tips to guide you:
If you’re pregnant during the summer months, sunglasses are effortlessly chic and functional. They’re a quick fix for tired eyes and an instant polish for any look. Choose a frame shape that flatters your face, whether it’s a timeless aviator or a bold cat-eye design, and maybe try out a tinted lens for added flair.
Next, let’s talk about shoes. When your feet are swollen all day long, the desire to walk everywhere barefoot is strong. Luckily, you don’t have to take such drastic measures – you can find comfortable and stylish shoes that will help you carry along even on the most hectic days.
Flats with cushioned soles, supportive slip-ons, or ankle boots with a wide heel can be both cozy and stylish choices throughout pregnancy. And don’t hesitate to go bright or patterned – it could be the perfect pop your ensemble needs.
Lastly, you can’t forget about jewelry – it’s the perfect accessory that lets you showcase your individual style regardless of occasion. Opt for pieces like stud earrings or delicate necklaces, which are versatile enough to go with everything but still distinctive enough to reflect your taste.
In Summary
As you ready yourself for the incredible journey of motherhood, creating a wardrobe that grows with you and allows your personal style to shine is both practical and a celebration of this transformative time. From soft tanks and leggings to breezy tops and personalized jeans, your attire can be as dynamic as your pregnancy journey itself. So, here’s to stepping into motherhood with style and comfort by your side!
Juanina Kocher Shares Her Wellness Tips for Mindful Mamas
By Ruthie Friedlander
In life’s dynamic and often unpredictable journey, few stories resonate with the spirit of transformation and balance as poignantly as that of Juanina Kocher. From navigating the fast-paced world of hospitality and food PR to embracing the holistic realms of health coaching and yoga, Juanina’s pivot towards wellness was not just a career change but a profound life recalibration. Her narrative, rooted in the challenges and revelations of a COVID-19-themed 2020, reflects a deeper quest for meaning and well-being amidst global upheaval. As a beacon for those seeking to harmonize professional ambitions with personal health and family responsibilities, Juanina’s experience offers invaluable insights.
Here, we delve into her inspiring journey, exploring how adversity sparked a transformation, leading her to found Flex + Flow Wellness. Balancing her roles as a health coach, yoga teacher, and a mother on the verge of welcoming her third child, Juanina navigates the delicate art of self-care, family life, and professional growth with grace and resilience. Join us as we journey into wellness with Juanina, uncovering lessons in balance, adaptability, and a really freakin’ good bodysuit.
Journey into Wellness:
Can you share your journey from hospitality to becoming a health coach and yoga teacher? What inspired this transition?
2020 forced this transition for me. I worked in the restaurant and hospitality world for 20+ years before transitioning into the wellness space. I always had an interest in yoga, and I remember back in 2013 looking into IIN (Institute of Integrative Nutrition). At the time, my career in food PR and marketing was just starting to grow, so I opted to stick to it at the time.
When COVID-19 emerged in 2020, and the restaurant industry was hit, my work started to slow, and I saw this as a perfect opportunity to get both my yoga teacher training and health coaching certifications. I began building Flex + Flow Wellness as more of a side hustle, but when winter rolled around and the restaurant industry stopped, it became my full-time job.
Balancing Act:
As a mother of two, soon to be three, how do you balance your personal health and wellness routines and your family responsibilities?
I have to say, it’s not easy! Something has to give a little. We can not “do it all” without some sacrifice. I consider my personal health part of my responsibility to my family. If I’m not feeling well, I’m not momming well.
A few simple things I like to do every day to maintain my sanity are:
Keep my morning and evening routines simple and stick to them.
Being flexible. The one thing that most certainly happens when you become a mom is that you very quickly realize your time is no longer yours. Make a plan, but know it may (and will likely) need to shift. For example, as part of my morning routine, I drink lime water and green juice, take my probiotics, ice roll the hell out of my face, and try to get in a 5-10-minute meditation. That meditation will sometimes need to turn into a car or walking meditation or perhaps even a before-bed moment if the day gets really crazy, but I always get in it.
A quick morning workout. This is often a 5-minute standing arm or a quick stretch while my boys are having breakfast or watching TV (no shame in using screens when needed y’all!). If I don’t get a proper workout, I’ve at least done something.
Eating my veggies. I know this sounds trite, but focusing on eating whole foods helps me feel good. I love to eat all the foods, so even if I’m having a more indulgent meal, I try to add some greens or sauerkraut (I love fermented foods) to balance it all out.
Prioritizing sleep is literally everything. This is very hard to do in the early months with babies, but it gets easier. Most people need 7-9 hours of sleep to feel fully recovered. I shoot for seven to eight.
Pregnancy Wellness:
How has your approach to wellness and yoga changed during your pregnancies, especially now with your third on the way?
I’ve become more flexible and less rigid. My 1-hour long yoga flows have been reduced to 5-10 min workouts 1-2 times a day most days. I eat many of my kid’s leftovers, including pizza and mac and cheese. It’s easy to flourish in the wellness space when you’re young and have no tiny humans to care for. You have all the time in the world to do all of the *things*. It, of course, takes work, but as you add to your life, you must be gentler. You cannot do the same things you were once able to do.
You emphasize tailoring wellness coaching to individual needs. Can you describe how you adapt your approach for different clients, especially expecting mothers?
YES! This goes back to flexibility. In coaching, you have to know your audience. I would guide a first-time expectant mother differently than a working mom of older children. When working with clients, I must be flexible in my thought process (as all coaches do, honestly), as everyone is different. Different needs, schedules, and seasons of life. I like to get to know my clients as friends and meet them where they are. This said it does help to keep your focus somewhat niched down. When doing more one-on-one coaching, I focused on moms, particularly working moms and mothers who needed postpartum support.
With your deep love for food and extensive experience in the hospitality industry, what are your top tips for maintaining a healthy diet without compromising on taste and enjoyment?
As I said earlier…I LOVE food. It truly brings me happiness to be in the kitchen, cook, and/or go out to dinner. My top tips would be:
Start your day with a green juice or smoothie with greens. If the rest of your day goes a little nuts, you’ve started with something good for your body.
Find easy ways to add veggies to your meals. This can be a side of sauerkraut, a small salad, adding veggies to your pasta, etc. One trick that’s actually great for kids as well is to puree cauliflower and add it to literally any pasta sauce. You don’t taste it, and it adds a nice creamy texture. You can do this with other veggies as well.
Try sticking to whole foods as much as possible. It’s the processed stuff and excess sugar that can get us. Be sure your food has a label that you’re reading it, and you know what you’re eating.
Stay hydrated. Drinking half your body weight in water is a good gauge. More if you drink coffee or alcohol or are going out to eat/eating salty foods. This will not only help you feel fuller but also aid in digestion.
Style and Comfort:
Being in the wellness space and a mother, how do you blend style and comfort in your daily wardrobe, and has this evolved during your pregnancies?
One thing about me is that I have to be comfortable. I tend to have a very athletic style, so athleisure type pieces are essential for my day-to-day. During the cooler months, I love a cozy sweater and leggings. During the warmer months, I’m all about a flowy maxi dress or simple jeans and a tank. I live in my Hatch Ultimate Leggings, and I love Body Ribbed Unitard (as seen below) as I can dress it up or down. I’m all about versatile pieces that can take me from lounging around the house to my yoga mat to a night out. I would say the only part of my style that has evolved with having children is I wear a lot more hats because I never have time to do my hair.
Beauty Routines:
Could you share some of your favorite beauty routines or products that align with a wellness-focused lifestyle, particularly ones you find beneficial during pregnancy?
My non-negotiables, especially during pregnancy, include:
Going to see my chiropractor. This is a huge one for me, especially since I have multiple children and very high-energy little men. Between being super active, picking up and putting down my kids, playing with them, etc, a monthly adjustment is critical.
Lymphatic drainage massage. I always dry brush before showering, which is great, but during pregnancy, especially if you can swing a full-on treatment, I highly recommend it. When you’re pregnant, you tend to hold water, and your circulation can suffer due to the pressure on your legs. This type of massage is incredibly helpful in keeping all the things moving. You also feel amazing afterward. There are just so many benefits.
General skin and hair care. The products I use daily are pregnancy-safe, which I’m grateful for. Amala Beauty is the skincare line I use. It’s very clean and the only skincare product I’ve found that really keeps my skin from getting dry (I have super dry skin). And Vegamour for my hair. I discovered Vegamour after my extreme postpartum hair loss with my second and have found it very helpful in bringing my hair back to life.
Mindfulness Practices:
How do you incorporate mindfulness or mental well-being practices into your daily routine, and how do you encourage your clients to do the same?”
I meditate daily, even for 5 minutes, and encourage clients to do the same. Even just a few moments of deep breathing is so beneficial. In today’s world, we are constantly in a state of fight or flight, and most people spend their days taking shallow breaths.
Find a little time for yourself every day. This could be as simple as taking a few extra minutes in your car to listen to your favorite song, taking a walk, or having drinks with a friend. Again, in the early days of motherhood, this is not as likely to happen but do your best.
Work-Life Balance Advice:
What advice would you give to other working mothers striving to achieve a healthy work-life balance, particularly in the wellness and hospitality sectors?
This is literally one of my favorite topics to discuss. Being a working mom is freaking hard, and finding work-life balance is a challenge with or without children. When you have children and are going back to work, you really need to set yourself up for success. You can do this by having a going-to-back work plan you feel comfortable with and having very serious conversations with your partner about how things will look at home (e.g., domestic tasks). There’s work outside the home, and then there are the million and one things that need to be done at home. This can often be a very big pain point for new mothers. Be sure you have adequate childcare. Do not skimp here. You can not be working + stay at home with young children. Nowadays, SO many women attempt some version of this. Our schedules are more flexible, and many of us work from home, which can be good, but if you work full-time, you need full-time help. Period. If you burn yourself out, your mental health and relationship with your partner will suffer.
Future Aspirations:
What are your aspirations for Flex + Flow Wellness Coaching + Consulting, and how do you see your experiences as a mother shaping its evolution?
It’s funny; I started Flex + Flow Wellness because I was shifting out of the restaurant space. When the restaurant industry made a comeback, I added the consulting facet of the business because there was a big need, and it was also the area in which I had been the most experienced. I plan to focus again on coaching and dropping the consulting in the coming years (I would say 2-3). Since starting F+F, I went from being a mom of 1 to a mom of soon-to-be three. I have learned SO much. I feel like I’m currently in school, in a way. It’s not to say I know it all. All mothers, children, and journeys are different, but I know I have much helpful knowledge to share in the prenatal and postpartum spaces. This is what I want F+F to become eventually. Support for women who are expecting and preparing for motherhood. As first-time moms, we get so consumed with what stroller or car seat to get, setting up the nursery, and the maternity shoots that we forget about what we *really* should be thinking about. Things like sleep deprivation (and how these nights will be managed with your partner), divvying up household tasks, boundaries with family and friends, and what our support system will look like after the baby. Being clear on your feelings (and communicating them) in regards to these topics, and so many more, are crucial to help ensure a happier and healthier postpartum experience
Currently awaiting the arrival of my second little champ in late May, and glowing, thanks to my unwavering bond with Hatch during my initial maternity journey. My devotion to their belly oil could fill pages! It’s an honor to grace this month’s newsletter, where I’ve been invited to unveil my top 9 BRADs — a tribute for each month of this beautiful journey. For those in the loop, BRAD is my playful spin on a genre that dances in the twilight of literature, sidestepping labels like “smut,” “erotica,” or “bodice rippers” for something a tad more enigmatic. BRAD, or Beach Read After Dark, celebrates romance novels that aren’t shy about turning up the heat. While plots might weave in, the real allure lies in the sultry passages that transport us from one fiery encounter to the next. These reads aren’t just my guilty pleasure; they’re a secret ingredient to keeping the spark alive, especially during the whirlwind of new parenthood. Ready to dive in? Below, I’ve shared my curated list. For those craving more, feel free to frolic over to my website or catch a glimpse of my world on Instagram.
It Happened One Summer by Tessa Bailey Tessa Bailey is the queen of the B.R.A.D. If this genre is new to you, I’d recommend starting here. Imagine if Alexis Rose from Schitt’s Creek had to move to a quaint fishing community in Washington, where she runs into the sexy town grump who wants nothing to do with her. Sparks fly!
Things We Never Got Over by Lucy Score Small-town romance that includes a grumpy male lead who intimidates everyone but is putty in our heroine’s hands, an evil twin, a makeover scene, an adorable cottage, and lots of delicious tension.
Scandalized by Ivy Owens This B.R.A.D. is about Georgia Ross, an investigative journalist, who bumps into Alec Kim, an old family friend she hasn’t seen for over a decade. After a *memorable* night, Georgia assumes she will never see Alec again. Little does she know Alec is a mega-famous T.V. star whose life makes it virtually impossible for Alec to pursue anything resembling a normal relationship.
The Devil Gets His Due by Elizabeth O’Roark I had to put a B.R.A.D. where the leading lady is pregnant! This is book 4 in the Devil Series, and every book is excellent! It is about total opposites who have a one-night stand and end up pregnant.
Flawless by Elise Silver Two words: cowboy romance. This is for you if you were a fan of The Longest Ride. A bull-riding bad boy is stuck with his boss’s daughter as his “full-time supervision” to keep him on the straight and narrow. It’s too bad all he wants is his boss’s daughter.
Dirty Like Me by Jaine Diamond The hottest band in the country needs a leading lady for their newest music video. When a struggling barista, Katie Bloom, nabs the gig, she’s just interested in the paycheck. That is until she hits it off with the band’s frontman, who presents her with an offer she can’t refuse: pretend to be his girlfriend for six weeks while he promotes his new album. Katie isn’t worried about catching feelings for the infamous heartbreaker, but she can’t deny the heat that is always present between them.
The Idea of You by Robinne Lee I honestly don’t even consider this a B.R.A.D. because the plot is so good, but it’s the gold standard when it comes to escapism + steamy scenes. This is a love story between a single mom and the lead member of the world’s hottest boy band.
Broken French by Natasha Boyd If you need a vacation but are too far along to get your pregnant butt on a plane, this is for you. Josie’s world implodes when she loses her job, so she impulsively takes a job nannying on a yacht in the South of France. When Josie meets the dad she’s working for, she can’t help but start to catch feelings for the grumpy, imposing, tall drink of water. No passport is required for this trip!
The STEMinist Novellas by Ali Hazelwood The final month of your pregnancy is a whirlwind, so I know you might not have time to settle in with a book. This collection of novellas is a quick, butterfly-inducing read. Perfect to pick up when you need a distraction from all the exciting changes coming your way!
Katie is the creator of Beach Reads & Bubbly, an Instagram account and blog dedicated to sharing her favorite reads. The account flourished after Katie began sharing fun and engaging reviews with friends, and it has grown into a wonderful community of smart and vivacious readers. She loves getting lost in a beach read, from sweet romances to twisty thrillers, and pairs each book with a tasty book-related cocktail. Beach Reads & Bubbly is about getting lost in the captivating world of books with beauty & fashion sprinkled in.
A Mother's Raw Journey Through the Postpartum Silence An embrace of the shadows.
By Lisa McCann | Photo by @_mariatoscano
I’m sitting in the sterile waiting room in the maternity hospital, waiting to go in for my twenty-eight-week scan on my third pregnancy. For a brief moment, I will see my baby. He will be bigger this week. I will try not to talk nervously to the obstetrician, to fill the silence with irrelevant words, words I know the answer to, having done this twice before – and yet.
This is a different baby; this is something new. I will try to savor the moment – to see him and fully experience these few seconds. Normally, he is hidden beneath layers of wool and fabric. He kicks sporadically throughout the day and night. His heart beats alongside mine, reminding me I am never alone (at least for now). He is the same size as his brother and sister were at this many weeks.
The first trimester was a month of unrelenting nausea, moments of joy, lots of reading, and refusing crab claws and rosé on the beach.
“Everyone knows!! They know!”
I spent my days sleeping in rickety beach chairs as my little girl and boy built sandcastles made of shells and flowers nearby. This third baby went from being a blueberry to a cucumber to a cauliflower. The app doesn’t tell me much, only that. I forget to check it. This is the third and last time I will do this.
So I sit in the waiting room and I feel angry. I am surrounded by advertisements for breastfeeding and bathing babies – happy babies, calm babies. I remember my first baby and how I fell off a cliff after she was born, and no one warned me. I learned so many things. I thought I was prepared, and practically speaking I was. What I wasn’t prepared for was me – how I would be.
That’s why I sit here and am angry because no one told me. In this place where babies are born. They arrive into the world, so many of them. But mothers are born here too. It’s all I can think of. I am flooded with imagery of all the lonely mothers. Their babies are beautifully dressed, with pudgy cheeks and everything new babies need, like bibs, bottles, strollers, and blankets. They have mothers who love them so much it hurts – it physically and mentally hurts. We are hurt, but no one asks us how we are. Not really.
I want to talk about how it is and how it feels.
One thing I know is there will be love – this body I haven’t loved has made this smaller body. This beautiful, otherworldly being with feathery eyelashes and perfectly formed fingernails (they grew inside me!) This love is a tidal wave – it swells inside and turns to tears.
The experience of giving birth and the aftermath is pure emotion and transformation – it is crying at the joy, at the relief, and the delirious exhaustion. There will be excruciating pain, night sweats, a catastrophic drop in hormone levels, and postpartum bleeding. Tiny pills, laxatives, and cups of tea mixed with tears. Round pink cheeks and a new sense of self and sense of purpose.
Each time we give birth, we know more – what won’t be done for us and what we must do for ourselves. Being honest about the difficulties we each face can lighten our mental load. A friend who recently gave birth to her first child reminded me that, as women, we are innately hard on ourselves, so when it comes to childbirth and motherhood as the ultimate measure of being a woman, we can’t afford to fail. We feel an unrelenting drive to be the perfect mother and not to show the darkness or admit weakness.
After my first and second children were born, my friends and I would meet up for coffee and walks. We were raw, our arms ached – we had nothing to offer each other or ourselves. I wanted to talk about the violence of it all, and I wanted to howl. Instead, as new mothers, we held our babies and talked about their sleep. Anxiety and intrusive thoughts began to frame my days, especially with my second child. The hyper-vigilance that kicks in to ensure your baby’s survival became almost relentless, and I would hear the newborn cry wherever I went.
As those deliriously joyous and exhausting days went by, I would wrap myself up in soft blankets and loose sweatshirts and wait for the healing to begin. I slowly began to talk about all of it with whoever would listen, and I instantly felt braver. I finally accepted as much help as possible because I realized I couldn’t do it all with two children.
I felt stronger from doing regular Pilates classes. I wrote about all of it in my journal, no matter how dark it all got. I am still looking for that perfect support group for new Mothers, but maybe this time, I will find it.
After each birth, I stared at each baby in wonder: I was broken, but they were perfect. I would never hold this against them. They are the beauty in the darkness.
9 Postpartum Surprises No One Warns You About Poop, sweat, and a ghost?
By Photo by @melissajeanbabies
Embarking on the postpartum journey is like stepping into a new world where your body doesn’t always feel like your own. Actually, let’s change that to “rarely” feels like your own. Let’s unpack the lesser-known realities (read: totally bizarre) of the post-birth experience with a dash of humor, a touch of honesty, and a sprinkle of medical insight—Babe by HATCH style.
Shake it off.
After the monumental effort of bringing a new life into the world, your body might celebrate with a surprising, shivery dance party of its own. This shake, rattle, and roll episode, as noted by the experts at Johns Hopkins Medicine, is your body’s way of recalibrating after the hormonal whirlwind and fluid shifts of labor. It’s a natural, though somewhat unnerving, response to the physical and emotional stress of childbirth. Just like every part of the birthing process, this too is a sign of your body’s incredible strength and adaptability on this journey into motherhood.
The poop of it all…
Oh, the post-birth bathroom blues. Let’s talk about the nitty-gritty that new moms face but no one really wants to chat about. According to the scholarly folks at the National Institutes of Health, more than 50% of new mamas experience some glamourous postpartum bowel issues. Constipation could become your new, uninvited BFF. And while you’re navigating this, your little one will embark on their own epic ‘poopscapades’. Between your bathroom saga and their diaper adventures, you’ve got a comedy series in the making. Remember, amidst the new routines and diaper duties, take a moment to laugh—it’s just another part of the beautiful mess called motherhood.
There will be blood.
Post-birth bleeding? Totally normal and it’s got a fancy name: lochia. It kicks off with a bright red debut, but don’t worry, it’ll soon mellow out to a pinkish hue.
Now, if you’re going through pads faster than a VIP at a sample sale, say, two an hour for a couple of hours, it’s time to call your doc. This could be postpartum hemorrhage, and it likes to make a dramatic entrance within the first day after delivery, though it can strut in up to 12 weeks later.
The usual suspect? Uterine atony, when your uterus muscles throw in the towel on contracting, which can lead to a blood vessel free-for-all. Sometimes, it’s because the placenta leaves a bit of itself behind, or if there’s a tear somewhere it shouldn’t be, or your blood decides it’s not in the mood to clot. Keep an eye out and stay in touch with your healthcare provider because, in the world of motherhood, it’s always better to be in the know.
Let’s flip the script: The postpartum silhouette is a badge of honor and a reminder of the journey your body has just undertaken. It’s like your very own personal moon, waxing and waning, as it gradually returns to its familiar terrain. Those in the know, aka medical experts, suggest that the uterus embarks on a six to eight-week journey back to its pre-pregnancy size. So, if you’re wondering why you still look a bit pregnant (or, like, totally pregnant) after delivering your little bundle of joy, rest assured, it’s all part of the body’s natural recalibration process.
Make you sweat.
Imagine stepping into a sauna without leaving your room – welcome to the postpartum hormonal rollercoaster! Researchers from the University of Pittsburgh have pinpointed these sweaty escapades to hormonal changes, likening them to the hot flashes experienced during menopause. FUN! It’s nature’s thermostat gone haywire, but fear not, for this too is a temporary phase in the grand ballet of motherhood.
As if by magic, your once lush locks may begin a great migration from head to shower drain, thanks to dropping estrogen levels, a phenomenon highlighted by the American Academy of Dermatology. While it may seem like your hair is plotting against you, rest assured that this shedding is but a phase, and equilibrium will return to your hair’s ecosystem in time. And there are tons of products on the market that we know to aid in supporting your regrowth journey.
All’s swell(ing) down there.
Post-delivery, the land down under might feel like it’s been through a marathon you don’t remember signing up for. Cold packs and sitz baths become the unsung heroes of recovery, offering solace and relief as experts recommend. This swelling is a testament to your body’s incredible journey and ability to heal.
Hey, boobies!
Navigating the world of new mamahood and feeling like you’re sporting a pair of overfilled water balloons? If you’ve decided to try breastfeeding, that’s first-week breast engorgement for you, babe! And a sign your body’s milk factory is kicking into high gear. While this swollen start might seem daunting, understanding that it’s your body’s natural ramp-up to feeding your little one can help ease the transition. Remember, this engorgement is just the first step in your breastfeeding journey, signaling the shift from colostrum to a fuller milk supply.
Phantom kicks.
Just when you think the kicks and somersaults have ended with pregnancy, your body throws a postpartum curveball: the “phantom baby kicks.” It’s like your uterus is hosting a ghost of pregnancies past, giving you those nostalgic flutters without the baby on board. These surprising sensations can trick you into thinking you’re still pregnant, making you wonder if your body is practicing for the next round or just reminiscing about the recent past. Either way, it’s a bizarre reminder of the incredible journey your body has been through.
In the tapestry of postpartum experiences, each thread – from sweat beads to hair strands, from swollen paths to engorged hills, and the body’s memory of kicks past – weaves a story of resilience, adaptation, and love. Embrace the ride, lean on your support system, and remember, this chapter, too, will be one to share with laughter and pride in the times to come.
If you are like most people, the first thing that crosses your mind once you have the positive pregnancy test is, “How am I going to get a baby out of my vagina?” And maybe the only thing you remember from sex ed is ‘that birth video’ (scarring), and that’s if you were one of the 33% in this country lucky enough to get sex ed in high school.
For most of us, we might not think about the actual childbirth until we are trying to get pregnant or, well… pregnant…The good news is that you are not alone!
Some studies show that about 80% of women have anxiety and fear of childbirth, with as many as 30% having a serious fear or phobia called tokophobia. The most common fears reported are the fear of the pain, fear of tearing, fear of an unplanned c-section, and fear of the epidural.
Here are simple steps you can take to help you feel more empowered at the thought of giving birth.
Voice your fears!
Asking questions during your prenatal appointments may help you feel more of a sense of connection with your care provider and feel reassured. There’s no such thing as a dumb question, especially if it will ease your anxiety— ask away. Your doc won’t (and shouldn’t) ever mind.
They may recommend you take a childbirth class. And that is a great place to start!
Educate Yourself!
As a doula, I recommend a comprehensive childbirth class that covers physiological birth, interventions, and coping tools. By educating yourself about birth, you can better understand the process your body goes through. For instance, how contractions come and go, that there is a “rhythm” to birth.
Did you know that if your labor lasts 24 hours (the average for first-time moms), 18 will be spent resting? If you are planning on giving birth in a hospital, knowing more about interventions, when they are used, and what can go wrong alleviates a lot of anxiety.
These are just a few examples of things you can learn in a childbirth class based on your birth plan you decide on one.
Pick a support team!
Picking a team that supports your wishes and can advocate for you in a hospital environment is the number one reason people hire doulas.
A doula will help you narrow down what is important for you on the day and remind you of your options. And as a trained support person, they can offer tools and tips and guide you through the phases of labor. Whether you want a medicated or unmedicated birth, a doula is that person in your corner who will support you without judgment.
Learn and practice coping techniques.
Actively preparing and practicing for labor will help you feel a sense of control and empowerment.
Sure, you can’t control the way things will go, and your birth plan may change… but being prepared for all eventualities is helpful. Learning to cope with birth and contractions by breathing, visualization, positioning, and practicing with your partner are tools that go a long way!
And don’t forget to prepare mentally. Your mindset can be your biggest helper in dealing with labor!
If however, after all this, your fears still occupy your mind and affect your mental health, the help of a mental health professional is always warranted and nothing to be ashamed of. After all, you are the one going through this pregnancy and birth journey. Don’t be afraid to be selfish, and do everything in your power to release any fears about birth. You got this, mom.
Maéva Althaus is NYC’s foremost Hypnosis & Mindfulness Birthing Educator. She teaches classes based on hypnosis (hypno-birthing), mindfulness and meditation to help release fears and feel more confident about labor and birth! Drawing from her doula experience she has developed her own course of wide-ranging classes, frm childbirth preparation to postpartum-focused recovery. Maéva strives to empower people to make birthing choices that work for them and their families.
How Am I Supposed To Celebrate Valentine's Day in My 3rd Trimester? Are you effing kidding me?
By Lisa McCann
I give birth for the third time next month. It’s another boy. I already have a four-year-old girl and a 21-month-old boy. Life is pure chaos: the kind of addictive love that gives you an aching lower back, a frazzled brain, and a full heart. There are constant demands for cups of milk and snacks and to “Play with me, Mommy.” Little time is left over for me, and an even smaller amount left over for my husband. And then a well-intentioned friend mentions Valentine’s Day plans. I laugh. Yeah, right.
I currently sit here, finding myself larger than life, resentful, and unwilling to move my ever-growing bump off the couch – it won’t budge. This baby kicks and moves and hiccups and kicks again. At night, I surround myself with the largest pregnancy pillow I can find online. I am hit by sudden dramatic bouts of exhaustion and moodiness, where no one escapes my wrath. I move slowly, as though possessed by my 97-year-old grandmother, who, presently, walks faster than me. People tell me to enjoy this time. I can’t accept this. Or them.
The romance of our daily lives includes snippets of conversation about films we want to watch, shows (one) that we watch together in the evening, breakfast accompanied by music we love, brief hugs to show support, kisses if we remember and aren’t covered in Weetabix or resentment (me). The evenings bring respite from the daily chaos, but sometimes we are too tired to spend them side by side. We go our separate ways to wind down. Sometimes you just need to be alone. But where does that leave us?
Our love may not be the same as it was, but neither are we – since having children, we have changed in many ways. We are learning, fighting, and making up – we are trying to understand their many emotions and desires and discipline them accordingly. Our different parenting styles can lead to conflict – we are different people with different upbringings. Our love for them threatens to eclipse our love for each other. We are so busy speaking to them that we don’t speak to each other. On those days, we barely cover logistics, food, and our never-ending to-do list.
My daughter’s Montessori is reframing Valentine’s Day as a day “celebrating love of all kinds.” Despite thinking that Valentine’s Day places unnecessary pressure on people who are not in relationships and on couples to be perfect, I have decided to look at it differently this year. I intend to use it as a reminder to my husband and me to value each other and our love. The romance may be harder to find since having children, but we need to remember each other and how we built this family from our own magical moments. We need to celebrate us, apart from them.
So we have booked a night away for Valentine’s Day (but not on Valentine’s Day) to just be us.
Paume: Revolutionizing Hand Care with Luxury and Eco-Consciousness Who knew washing hands could be so chic?
By Ruthie Friedlander
Paume is a brand that redefines hand care with a touch of luxury and a commitment to sustainability. It’s more than just a hand sanitizer; it’s a statement of self-care and environmental responsibility. Paume’s products blend nourishing ingredients with elegant design, offering a sensory experience beyond just cleanliness.
Each item, from their antibacterial hand gels to overnight hand hydration masks, is crafted with the modern, eco-conscious consumer in mind. Their approach to packaging, using recycled materials and offering refills, speaks to a deeper ethos of nurturing both the skin and the planet. Paume is a beacon for those who believe that taking care of your hands is a ritual, a moment of self-care in our busy lives.
And unsurprisingly to us here at Babe, the inception of PAUME is a tale of new parenthood and a quest for gentler, more sustainable hand care. When the founders welcomed their newborn daughter, the omnipresence of germs became an immediate concern. This led to many hand sanitizers at home, often harsh on the skin, poorly scented, and packaged in unattractive plastics. This sparked the creation of their flagship product: a moisturizing, antibacterial hand gel that marries effectiveness with nourishing ingredients encased in elegant, sustainable packaging. Over two years, PAUME transformed hand care into a dedicated skincare routine featuring unique formulas, a signature scent, and beautifully designed, sustainable dispensers. Garnering accolades like the Marie Claire Beauty Game Changer Award and featuring in top publications, PAUME stands as a pioneer in luxury hand care, beloved by celebrities and nail artists alike. Your hands deserve their own care routine, and PAUME is here to provide it.
Here, we speak to the founder.
PAUME was launched very much because of your experience as a new mom. Tell me about that.
When I became a mother for the first time in 2019, my awareness of hand hygiene heightened. When you bring a newborn home from the hospital, they are so vulnerable, and you want to protect them from every possible germ. My daughter was a very fussy baby, and she basically screamed on and off all day for the first four months of her life.
Needless to say, even the act of washing my hands was a challenge, so I turned to hand sanitizer. I had it at the front door, in my kitchen, and on her changeable so I could easily clean my hands. I quickly became very disappointed with what was on the market (remember, this was before the pandemic). The scents were harsh, the formulas dried out my skin, and the packaging was unappealing and disposable. I started to imagine a more aesthetically pleasing and sustainable hand sanitizer that was good for your skin and smelled good. I asked myself – why couldn’t hand sanitizing become a moment of self-care versus something we all dreaded? The idea for PAUME was born.
What were you most keenly made aware of after having your babe that prior, you didn’t really think about?
As a new parent, I became more concerned with the ingredients in the products I was using. I was reading many more labels than I had in the past and was seeking more natural, plant-based, and gentle products for myself and our family. This mindset certainly inspired our formula, which is plant-based, and uses ethyl alcohol rather than chemical antibacterial agents, as I knew this was a priority for other parents as well.
I also became more aware of packaging and waste. As a parent, you consume household items rapidly, and you suddenly create more waste than ever before (think diapers, wipes, creams, soaps, sanitizer etc). This inspired me to create refillable products to cut down on plastic bottle waste – our refill bags and refillable dispensers, while not perfect, do make a difference. Our refill bags fill the travel bottle over five times and the PAUME Pump twice.
New parents are educated about the importance of hand washing, but not about which to choose/how to properly make those choices. What are some of the questions mamas should ask when purchasing this very essential product?
I do think there is a general lack of education about antibacterial ingredients. Typically people associate “scent-free” sanitizers with being “gentle” and “less harsh” (myself included in the early days), but in fact, any sanitizer that is scent-free means it has a chemical antibacterial agent. Alcohol is the cleanest, safest, and most natural way to kill bacteria, germs, and viruses. Unfortunately, alcohol also smells bad and dries out the skin. I was determined to eliminate these two unpleasant features of our active ingredient. To do so, we chose a unique plant-based emollient derived from the safflower plant, not found in any other sanitizer, that hydrates the skin during and after each application. We also created a signature blend of five essential oils that effectively mask the alcohol smell with a woodsy, botanical, refreshing scent.
Being a mom and a female founder is TOUGH! What have you learned from motherhood that has helped you as a business owner and vice versa?
Before I launched PAUME, I was the first employee at Knix, the women’s intimates brand. I joined the founder pre-launch at the age of 26, and I had endless energy and very little to distract me from growing the brand from the ground up for over four years. When I launched PAUME, I was 34, and I had a one-year-old. The experience was very different, needless to say.
Balancing motherhood and starting/running a business is incredibly tough, but I surprised myself and my ability to multitask, compartmentalize, and handle the inevitable war between motherhood and professional life. Kids force you to effectively manage time – knowing I only have certain hours of the day to dedicate to work, I’m extremely focused during those hours, and I can be more productive than I was before motherhood. It has also taught me not to sweat the small stuff. Being a parent helps you put everything into perspective. No matter what fire I might be putting out at work, the health and happiness of my children is the most important thing. Work challenges can almost always be solved. It’s also taught me to lean on my team and trust they can manage things when I cannot. I don’t have the luxury of being a micromanager, rather, I depend on my team to take true ownership of their jobs and tasks, and it’s created a culture of independence and confidence, which I’m proud of.
Madelynn Hudson on Maternity Style & Nursery Design Tips for chic, comfortable pregnancy fashion from a TRUE designer.
By Ruthie Friedlander
Meet Madelynn Hudson, not just a soon-to-be mama, but also the founder of MADÉ Studio, a full-service hospitality and residential design firm known for its comprehensive approach to creating bespoke, functional spaces. Her expertise in selecting architectural details, collaborating with builders, and tailoring custom solutions for spaces shines through in our exclusive interview. Madelynn shares how her background in creating beautiful, practical environments influences her maternity style and nursery design. Get inspired by her journey from designing sophisticated spaces to navigating motherhood with grace and style.
Explore Madelynn’s unique perspective on blending maternity fashion with her design expertise in the full interview.
How has your personal style evolved since becoming pregnant?
Such an interesting question! I generally tend to have a very refined and minimal fashion sense. I keep a small wardrobe and wear my pieces to death. I’ve found myself gravitating toward fun fashion accessories while being pregnant. I also feel like I’m gravitating towards more feminine pieces!
Could you share some of your favorite maternity pieces that blend comfort with style?
I’ve been loving oversized sweaters and leggings paired with riding boots lately. I’ve also started stealing my husband’s denim and I love the baggy fit with a good winter coat.
(EDITOR NOTE: Check out our favorite knits and leggings over at HATCH.)
As a founder of a design firm, how has your design philosophy influenced how you approach maternity fashion?
My overarching philosophy of buying quality over quantity infuses most aspects of my life, and maternity fashion has been no different. I’m also trying to invest in pieces I see myself wearing when I am not pregnant.
Many women struggle with balancing comfort and style during pregnancy. What are your tips for achieving this balance?
Stick to monochromatic looks when all else fails! They always look elevated and chic, even if they are cozy sweats!
Who are your fashion inspirations, especially when it comes to maternity style?
The minute I found out I was pregnant, I went straight to social media and started a folder of inspirational looks. I think women like Pernille Teisbaek, Leia Sfez, and Gabrielle Pozzoli do it really well. I’ve definitely been inspired to try out a more oversized look, purchasing pieces a few sizes larger so I can wear them once the baby comes as well.
What advice would you give to other expecting mothers trying to maintain their personal style throughout their pregnancy?
Buy a couple of new pairs of pants when you hit 14 weeks; you’ll need them. Invest in a few basic maternity pieces from a brand like HATCH that you can wear outside of pregnancy as well, and dial up the accessories! That way, even if you are wearing leggings, you’ll feel fashionable.
How does your interior design philosophy influence how you plan or have set up your nursery?
I am wayyyy too excited to design the nursery! I want it to feel consistent with the rest of our home (which we are also currently designing), so I want the room to feel sweet yet still “adult” and elevated. It will feel playful and childlike in ways but be filled with pieces we can reuse throughout the home when we transition our bebe into a larger room down the road.
Many parents find it challenging to blend their style with the functional needs of a nursery. What are your tips for creating a nursery that reflects your aesthetic while being practical for a baby?
Throw all the overly baby stuff out the window and focus on a color palette, materials, and pieces that feel consistent with the rest of your home. The nursery is a space for both the baby and parents, so you want it to feel inspiring and relaxing to you primarily. Ideally, all the pieces you purchase could get re-purposed throughout the home (aside from the crib) once your babe has outgrown things. And my main tip is to mix in vintage! For example, I plan to use vintage light fixtures in my nursery to give it a touch of whimsy that still feels elevated and adult.
